Saturday, May 23, 2015

20 ways to know you are an OFFICIAL KHALTO!



i'm sitting here wide awake at 3 am. thinking so many thoughts, worrying about things before they happen. Regretting, forgetting and analyzing my life. I think of how old my kids are now and it passed by so quickly. And well Laila is just 6 and graduating for KG2  and i know in a blink of an eye ill be sitting there in her high school and college graduation ( inshala).

Suddenly im that annoying Auntee that keeps telling her friends kids " ya habibi i know you since you were this big * makes a baby hand gesture that from the look of that teenage boys face is not a compliment at all. It suddenly hit me.. IM A KHALTO NOW! OFFICIAL!

Incase if you were wondering if you were one already here is a LIST i made for you!

You know you are getting OLD & are an Official Auntee KHALTO

1.  When you visit your friends whom you havent seen in a long time you OVERREACT when their kids come in the room. See in your head he is still a TODDLER.. suddenly a MAN enters the room and you actually NEED TO WEAR YOUR HIJAB.. GASP.. ofcourse you say.. something like



LA LA LA LA hada ibnek.. MA BASADE2.. akher mara shufto kaan lisa berda3.. * awkward silence
* oh that is your son last time i saw him he was still breastfeeding. & You start sharing embarrassing stories like " last time you came over your mom was potty training you pooped all over my carpet.

2. You find that most of your conversations suddenly take a turn and you end up talking about
RECIPES . "Ah wallah hayk bta3maleeha.. la2 ana ba7ot shway zebdeh ba3dayn bakhaleeha ten2a3 shway"..




3. When you sit down or get up you make those little moaning sound.. Ehh ... or say something like
" Ya Allah.. Yama ya habeebti.. heeeeh " or ask the nearest child or person to help you get up.


4. When someone gives you a recipe and says " Rashet male7" a hint of salt or shwayet baharat.. you actually know what those baharat ARE and how much you need to put in the Tabkha
 

5. You now have official sub7eyat with other khaltos many who are still are unaware of the STAGE of khalto they have become.

6. You probably by now suffer from a Back Disc,  or neck disc or just back pain or joint pain or have had your gallbladder removed. or like me All of the above..

7. You just want to wear that SAME BIJAMA that you have had for a billion years cause nothing is just as comfy. Inspite of the fact that you have many other PJS but none are as comfy as this one and no one can really see that hole anyway.


8. You can't walk in heels and when you do decide to walk in heels you carry a little bag with a SHIBSHIB with you & Clarks & hush puppies and Berkinstock are your fav shoe shops.





9. Your Digestive system starts failing you are your body reacts to the things you eat and you just cant eat the things you used to. And before going anywhere first you make sure there is a BATHROOM there.



10. When you hang up the phone you now do the " Ahlayn Ahlayn.. Allah ma3ek.. Ah ah " byebyebyebye ahlayn ahlayn bye bye



11. When you have visitors over you always stand at the door before they leave and talk for like 30 mins

13. When your kids are naughty and you have visitors over you give them "THE LOOK" that you used to get growing up that meant " ra7 afarjeeki bas yraw7o"


14. You can no longer stay out very late and want to be home early & are exhausted by the end of the day.


15. You talk about prices and " Ghala il Dinya wa il 3eeshe" a lot & ask about schools.

16. Getting off the couch is not as easy as sitting on it.

17. When that old lady in the Zumba Class keeps giving you the " i know how you feel" look.



18. You actually start realizing there is a different taste to " mlookhye, jibne and Zaatar  from Amman or palestine" & will most likely have some in your bag if you travel.





19. You say things like " YA ma7la il hawayat" & constantly compliment people in a formal manner.
 

20. You make 'du3a" for everyone when they do something nice for you ' Allah yerda 3alieki" & you start using those Amthaal like ( feel free to use these phrases and evolve into a khalto instantly:

il ALEB GHALEB
The Inside Is The Winner)(You Are More Beautiful Than Your Dress)

"Ya Raytak Khreet Wa Ma Hkeet"
(i wish you had pooped instead of SPOKEN) ( havent used this one yet but its very expressive) haha

Bil Wijj Mmrayeh Wa Bil Afa Surmayeh
( In Your Face He Is A Mirror And Behind You He Is A Slipper)



A3mali Mnih Wa Kib Bil Bahr
( Do Good and Throw It In the Sea)


 Al Urd Bi A3yn Immo Ghazal
( The Monkey in His Mothers Eye Is a Ghazelle)


*i can go on FOREVER. 

Anyway.. hope this has helped some of you learn that they are also now KHALTOS LIKE ME

WELTCHOME TO THE CLUB * hands over knitting kit and glasses as prize and REMEMBER THIS :







Saturday, May 09, 2015

I Need to CHILL!

Wow.. its been so long since i have blogged i feel i forgot how to ! But i feel im at this point in my life where i have a lot of thoughts and feelings and well i feel hardly take any pauses. Im always on the run doing a million things & multitasking. I feel like i take on more than i can handle & at the end of each day i still have
n't crossed out my "to-do" list and im exhausted and i realize there was alot of things i could have easily just NOT added to my crazy endless list.

So today i decided to STOP doing all the things i need to do & actually take a minute to BLOG and reflect on my life and everything. I'm the type of person who is very curious and observe the people around me and try to read thier body language and analyze them. I may come across as a psycho that just stares at other people. Anyhow.. so i was at PF Changs today and i noticed a western lady with her two girls. They had ordered a somewhat healthier choice i believe with some sort of green leaves or brussel sprouts.. ( just like i do) *laughs sarcastically .. and they were eating and laughing and talking.. and her two girls were playing wither their food then decided to braid their moms hair.. thier hands were probably oily but she sat there smiling &; let them both just pretty much oil her hair in the middle of the restaurant and she was saying positive things.. like " wow look at that nice braid"

 And i imagined if one of my girls tried to braid my hair with her oily hands.. would i have done the same thing ? i think i probably would have just given her the " you better not do that " look. or threatened to take away one of her "shopkins"!

I started to realize how many times we tend to overreact to certain things. And it me think of the reason WHY we do that. I believe it is our fear of what "Others" will think of us. Its that need to fall into a certain Norm, that desperate need to be seen in a certain way. That constant fear of being judged by the way your children act.

Im not saying don't set any rules and let your kids play with a soiled poopie diaper. Im just saying there are certain times we tend to overreact. We draw lines and upset ourselves and our kids and in reality some things are not a big deal.

They got thier clothes dirty even though you warned them a 1000 times.. what did you expect really when you gave your 3 and 6 yr old an ice cream :S 

They can sometimes wear clothes that don't match cause they feel like it. it will make them learn how to be decision makers and feel more independent.

Its okay if they don't finish eating thier food or not eat eventually they will get hungry and eat so no need to give the " IF you dont eat your food it will run after you on judgement day" *twitches at thought of drowning in giant mlookheya bowl



They scribbled on the walls again.. and you are having a FIT.. and here i dont mean FIt as in Fitness *jiggles belly.. It can be painted.. and even if it isnt .. why is it such a big deal? they are kids. we keep limiting them to drawing on paper and limiting their creativity. Let them scribble maybe we should experiment on our walls as well. Let the world be our CANVAS! :P who said we should only draw on PAPER? the possibilities are endless!





There are so many times i let my emotions get the best of me. The stress & exhaustion don't help me to react like a calm person would or should act. I feel its in my nature to be just LOUD and Jumpy like im always waiting for something BAD to happen. So many times i hear my kids screaming in the room and i freak out only to find out they are just laughing and playing.

One time after i dropped off laila to school i noticed she had forgetten her water bottle. That morning she decided to take it out of the bag & i told her dont forget it like 100 times. So when i got to the school and realized it wasn't there i got upset with her and told her "why didnt you put it back didnt i tell you to!" she said she did and i was like NO you didnt . i overreacted as usual. And come to think of it now i think mainly i didnt want to be seen as that "careless" mom who forgets to pack her childs water bottle. i dont know what iwas thinking and after getting all upset and upsetting my little lulu.. i got back in the car and it was right there next to me.. It fell out of her bag when i put in the car. She had packed it in her bag and truth is even if she didnt. it shouldnt have UPSET ME the way it did.. my heart sank and i felt horrible.. and i got this gut-wrenching feeling of guilt of what a horrible mom i was. She told me many times she did and i didnt even believe her.. because she has a habit of forgetting things. ( like me) i'm far worse though.. she calls me Mrs Forgetful.. I sometimes feel i am too hard on Laila especially because i feel she is a part of me& she is like me in so many ways that i worry about her so much. I dont want her to experience some things i went through. I often find myself overreacting to something she did and after she sleeps this feeling is back again. i feel this is not the first time i feel this incredibly heavy weight of guilt on my chest & i need to change this before i cause my kids major psychological problems cause the root of all psychological problems are the PARENTS!! ( which reminds me of the tv show "BATES MOTEL" which im watching now which is actually a prequel of the movie "PSYCHO".. who is a psycho because of his mom somehow ya far7eti

I told myself i don't ever want to feel this guilty again and i dont ever ever want to put my kids in this situation. I feel i see myself in her and somehow i dont want her to turn into me So from now i on whenever something happens that upsets me, i ask myself why am i upset? Do I need to be this upset of this ? Is it worth it? Am i overreacting?

I don't want to shout at them. I love them so much. That moment you see fear in your kids eyes from you is one of the worst moments ever. You will feel like a monster.  Its not easy to control your frustration and i'm still failing many times, but at least now i'm trying my best and working really hard to not fail my kids as a mom.

will leave you with a cute vidoe of what happened when i left lina in the back seat with her new frozen makeup set which i thought was still closed till i parked and looked back :S i am glad this time i laughed and didnt freak out.. but she is too cute ! ahahahaha :P


video