For as long as I can remember, I was a hopeless romantic.
I believed in “the one.” In a love that felt like destiny rather than a choice. I believed that somewhere out there was a person designed specifically for me someone who would understand me effortlessly, love me endlessly, and never make me question where I stood.
I didn’t just want love. I wanted epic love.
The kind of love I saw in movies like The Notebook, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and most recently Wuthering Heights 🥹
The kind of love that no memory loss, no dementia, no obstacle could erase.
The stories where love conquered everything.
Kont habla…
But the truth didn’t arrive dramatically. It came quietly, through disappointments when reality gave me the biggest slaps in the face🫠
I learned that someone who feels like “the one” can still be the one who causes you more pain than you ever imagined. The one who breaks your heart into so many pieces that you don’t know if you’ll ever trust another man again.
I realized I had romanticized the idea of true love and fate so deeply that I ignored every red flag waving right in front of me. I told myself that if I just worked harder, loved harder, stayed longer I could still get the magical story I had written in my head.
What I didn’t know then was that my low self-worth then that was quietly influencing my choices. It made me tolerate what I should have walked away from. It made me justify the unjustifiable.
I still believe in love.
I’ve just let go of the fairytale version of it.
Love is consistency.
Butterflies are usually anxiety, not magic.
Love is choosing your person every single day.
Strong chemistry does not automatically mean compatibility.
Believing too deeply in the idea of “soulmates” can make you overlook red flags. It can make you stay longer than you should. It can convince you that intensity equals destiny.
It doesn’t.
Now, I’m not looking for epic.
I’m looking for steady.
I want consistency.
I want safety.
I want someone who deeply cares for me, supports me, sees my worth, and loves even the parts of me I struggle to love myself.
Who chooses me without doubt and never makes me question their love.
I deserve that kind of love.
I deserve happiness.
I deserve to be loved the way I love deeply and effortlessly.
And this time, I won’t settle for anything less and now all I want is to heal and to gently gather all the pieces of myself that were scattered in loving someone who couldn’t love me the way I deserved.
Maybe soulmates do exist.
Some arrive to show you what love is NOT so you can finally recognize what love IS.
Some people come into your life and leave fingerprints on your soul. They teach you how deeply you can feel. They show you parts of yourself you didn’t know existed.
But maybe they aren’t limited to just one person.
Maybe a soulmate It’s about understanding that love should not require you to abandon yourself. isn’t a once in a lifetime destiny written in the stars. Maybe it’s anyone who meets you in a way that feels aligned and familiar.
Someone who mirrors yours souls in ways you can’t understand.
Someone who awakens something in you that you thought died a long time ago.
Maybe we have different soulmates for different stages of our lives.
Not every soulmate is meant to stay forever. Soulmates that awaken you maybe will always hold a special in your heart and you have to live knowing that the weren’t meant to stay and walking away has nothing to do with the lack of love.
Soulmates are not always a romantic connection it can be your best friend. Someone who feels like home. They understand you without explanation, stand by you without conditions, and love you the way you are. It’s the kind of connection that’s deep, loyal, and forever built on trust, laughter, and being completely yourself around them. I will forever be grateful to have my best friend now who has supported me like no other person and is the biggest blessing in my life.
And maybe the most important soulmate you’ll ever meet… is yourself.
Maybe the lesson isn’t that there is only one person meant for you. That we have many soulmates in life and I am blessed to have met more than one soulmate.
Maybe the lesson is that you are allowed to choose someone who chooses you back fully, safely, consistently.
And if this love soulmate connection never appears in my life.. I am whole enough to know that I will always be enough to make myself happy and I don’t need someone else to complete me.
