im blue da be dee da be daa.... back to my sleep patterns... i guess im feeling depwethed again... i sit there curled up in bed drowning in my thoughts wondering abt my past present future... i wish i knew the RIGHT things to do.. and how to wrong the mistakes ive done throughout my life... things are easier said than done... i wish i could just stop being so freakin emotional... that not anyone can effect my mood! that i didnt care abt certain ppl in my life....

i hate fakeness but i realized i sometimes am fake espeically on eid!! u contact ppl who u dont really care abt.. well u do but not really.. but u feel its an obligation to msg them at least once every year cause if u dont they will be offended.. andu get msgs from ppl who havent spoken to u in 1000 years .... its a fake world.. and i learnt that when someone needs somethin from u they are ur new best friend.. when they need a ride and u got the car.. ne way...

whats the world coming to?! i walk around in the malls or streets in dubai and i see girls half nakid ... and to my surprise most i know from uni and are muslims!! i hate how islam is nowadays.. ppl relate islam to acts of terrorism and hate! i would love it if those ppl who say they are muslims and dont act like it to say... yes im a muslim... but i DONT practiCE islam...

so here i am venting away... guess ill go back to my exciting LIFE! hehe

later me..

Beace

IM AWAKE!

and its morning! actually its not that early but its been a while since i woke up at the right time!

YAAAAAAAWN! its a beautiful day! weather seems a bit cloudy.. expecting rains! emm remind me why im giving the weather forcast again?! Soo... im drinkin my vanilla nescafe right now and im thinking someone as hyper as i am should be banned from any caffiene INTAKE!

*dinos bouciing off the walls... Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i might take this opportunity of being awake for the most important meal of the day to go have some morning BREAKFAST! if i stay online any longer it will be lunch :S hehe

this venting online has seriously been a great idea... glad i am a bloggieeeee

ill be back with info from the outer world later!!

Beace oooout!!

i feel a heaviness in my throat again... its like a lump that i feel when i think of my life... thoughts and questions invade my mind... steal away the sleep from my eyes...i need to just let it out of my system b4 it eats me up alive...

could a person be in love with love itself? the feeling of love and being in love?! rather than a person ? i dunno sometimes i feel im in love with love itself and the idea of being intoxicated with love! maybe i watch too many movies...they say all is fair in love and war... and love makes the world go round( wait that was MONEY)hehe

ne way.. im a sappy romantic dreamer that is in love with love... they say all love fades and what u see in movies is far from the sad reality... the reality of men sittin there infront of the tv burping as they watch the game in their stained shirt! while the lady cooks in the kitchen hair curled up in little hair rolls, smellin like fish and onions! that's the image that comes to mind when i think of the "AFTER LOVE ENDS" eheh i mean come on... if a lady loooks and smells like that id rather watch the GAME too!

no wonder i fear commitement and marraige! i dont want to end up like the normal couple that eventually end up giving each other attitude and sayin things like " u ruined my life"!do all married couples meet the same fate ?! is it a cycle that we all have to go through?!

enough for today... back with more psychological problems later :P

here i am again.. reason im here talkin to myself lettin thigns off my chest is because i have been through more than one experience that made me realize.. i TRUST ppl way to much... the simplest sharing of oens thoughts with the wrong ppl can be somethin u regret enternally...

i hate this gosssip crap... i hate being part of it.. i admit i talk to much.. i write too much.. but i guess if i didnt id explode.. but i mean well... and ppl always misinterpret my kindess and assume the worst.. whats up with this crrappy world?! why cant anyone freakin leave each person alone! everyone seems to butt in ur lif as if im sittin there on their CHEST! hello?! if i work or not? get married or NOT its non of ur GOD DAmn BusinESS!! im just so sick and tired of ppl asknin me with a " sad puppy look" on their face.. So what u doing now?! first it was that same look with : have u graduated yet!!

Sillly me i thought after graduation that tormentation was over!!! and even when i work and am a successful grpahic designer they will stilll come to me with that same ANNOYing LOok sayin

: ArE U MARRIED YET! and after that! HAVE U FREAKIN GOTTEN ANY KIDS! and if u GET KIDS ARE U GETTIN MORE KIDS?! its a never evndin CYCLE! A CURSE! maybe its just the arab culture! i dunno...

right now im as confused as ever.. tryin my best to be the best muslimah.. live my life the right way.. well right now im going through the whole traditional marraige adventures ... some lady comes to check me out.. and sometimes if im lucly the guy comes along.. istaghfarallah i,m not complaingin.. i know its the right way.. but i mean it soo hard to sit there and meet someone for the first time in ur life and decide whether he is ur potential husband...

yes hi... im dinos.. want to spend the rest of ur life with me? !!

its just too awkward.. never felt like a potatoe on display like i have hte past couple of days.. i want this process to end... but inshala khier.. im not in a hurry for marraige... im def not goin to settle for someone i feel isnt THE ONE... welll i let go of the dreams of findin mr tall religious funny goodlookin english/arabic speaking 3arees not to forget finanically well off! hehe yes i guess im askin for too much... i narrowed down my list to.. not UGly... ok lookin... someone u can look at and not GASP WITH FEAR! heh no major deformities..... like if he has a huge nose there is always cosmic surgery! but the height is a major ISSUE! i mean he should be taller than i am.. and apprantly i attract short men hehe well i undestand they want to have tall kids but... hmmm not moi... sooo tall... religous.. true mu2min not someone who prays and brags abt his 5 prayers a day!! its like... pathetic.. contradict the whole idea of prayer.. u pray to GOd and not to show off to ur neighbors! so... tall. mu2min... and has a SENSE OF HUMOR! im like a freak show on legs... i think if it was islamically ok id be the first stand up comedian hijjabi!!

ne way... im not feeling that great... ive been sittin here talkin to myself for the past hour ... i wonder does anyone ever read this?! lol that would be even more pathetic... u sure are bored too!! hehe just kidd .. ok im talking to myself again..

have u ever felt like the world is moving and ppl have gone on with thier lives when ur life has taken a sudden HAULT!? i dunno lately ive been feeling that way... GOd help me get through this phase ..... sseee ya online me...

ps.

u DO TALK TOO MUCH! :P

SICK OF DIS!!

PASS ME DA CHOCOLAAAATA!! :P just testin this image uploadin option

im gettin way to much sleep... i feel bad but i just get glued to my cozy bed with my fluffy pillows and just sink away... is it that my reality is so disappointing that i cant get out of bed? are my dreams and sleep the only way i can escape my reality? i have to end this cycle or do somethin useful in me life soon.. these messed up sleeping patterns are depressing too!

im goin out for iftar now... ill pray that God guides me and leads me to the right path...

beace out

my first blog hehe

i dunno how to use this... its my first time... im just tryin this out see if im gonna have it figured out soon... so its basically me sharing my psychoticness to the world? its like venting online? iim gonna sleep now figure this out later...

beace