Dino$ Thought$

More time on my hands so i have more time to think and share my thoughts!! My mind is continously thinking about life and i try to find answers to the endless questions i have... i just end up with more deeper questions and a blank look on my face... Sometimes feel im a patient in an operation room who has just woken up from a deep comma.. looking around in confusion tryin to figure out the world around me... my illustration shows how i feel :)

I was thinking about different things like beauty& intelligence and the ways people follow many stereotypes to measure things in life.. So to be considered intelligent does it mean you should get straight A's? Do your grades determine how intelligent you are? Einstien was a failure in school and look how he turned out!

And what about beauty? im not goin to say " beauty lies within" or "its in the eye of the beholder" to avoid sounding cheesy ... but i beleive beauty is what is natural what GOd has created.. i dont think going through many plastic surguries and ending up looking like a barbie or somehow plastic as a way to be beautiful..

These days i flip through the channels and i feel all the singers and women on tv look alike! maybe they go to the same plastic surgeon! sad... but true.. some actually have facial expressions that seem to have stuck after the operation.. soo much weird stuff injected in their faces they cant even smile without looking constipated!! lol

I believe everyone is beautiful in their own way.. or has a certain beauty to them.. not many are as fortunate as charles theron or brad pitt... :P

I believe that each person is born with a gift or many gifts.. some might not be great in school or with grades.. might be great artists or even scientists someday! Intelligence should not be measured by A's or C's which are mere letters to label ppl! i've seen people who were the considered the smartest kids in school.. make the stupidest decision in thier life...

Know Me Better :)

this is for you LAdy D .. sorry its late.. i recieved a similar email ill answer:)

5 people who top your craplist, and why
- liars hypocrites & show offs
- haifa wahbi and all " boos il wawa" amthal
- people who are muslims and give out the wrong impression
abt islam with thier unilsamic actions...
- sharon tab3an wa kol 2a3da2 il islam
- ba3rafsh liesh bas ILHAAM SHAHEEN & Mohammad Muneer!!


Close brushes with death dangers:

lol i lost track but ill mention the ones i remember
- i was hit by a car when i was in the gulf war in kuwait...
- i almost drowned as a kid, and more than once jumped in shallow water and
HIT MY HEAD cause i thought it was deep! lol
- jumped off a closet when i was a kid with bed sheets on my back sayin i was " superwoman"
landed on my back! OUCH
- Have had more than one car accident... nothin serious but could of been many times
- Was almost kidnapped as a kid

lots more i forgot ...


5 Guilty Pleasures
- The guilt u feel after having CHOCOLATE! yummy!
- The guilt we feel after playin pranks on friends when they feel soo stupid for fallin for your prank! lol
-The guilt you feel when you take somethin away from a kid and he starts crying
- The guilt you feel for laughing when someone said a hilarious joke abt someone else
- The guilt you feel after Sleeping way too much...


5 Things you never want to forget:
-The moment i opned my eyes after the lazic operation and COULD SEE WIthout GLASSES
-The moment i first saw al ka3bah
-How it felt to play in the snow ( hown ma fe snow ) :(---
-How it feels to be a young so that when i grow up i will know how to deal with my kids
-A dream i had once..

5 Things you wish to forget
- Someone i had grown attached to for a while who simply walked out of my life...
- The death of my close friend in an accident
- The many mistakes i have done in my life
- My school days when i was a major geek lol
- A nightmare i had more than once..

5 really exotic dishes you have tried:
-Mansaf YUMMA!
-Msakhan we fREEAKA!
-Sumagiyah ( i think this is as exotic as it gets)

5 crushes/loves in your life… in chronological order:
5 bass? :P
when i was in Grade 2 i liked this called call hani in my class and asked him to marry me lol
when i was in Grade 4 i think.. i liked my teacher!!!
in University i had one major crush....
*blushing.. khalas bikafee... eyyyyyyyy

Strangest dream you've ever had
i sleep a lot.. ya3ni i dream alot... but one of the weirdest dreams i had was one where i saw myself but it wasnt really me but some evil witch possessing my body!! and she was making tea for my teta and mom! and she put some poisong or seomthing! i was SCReaming but no one can HEAR ME or see me and thought i was that EVIL witch!! CREEPY film hindi!

once i prayed istikhara for a guy who proposed and well i dreamt he was scratching his head with his SHOE!! LOL weird.... glad that didnt work out lol

5 most valued personal possessions
- my wallet with all my karakeeb in it and pics
- my car soona! ( which btw i finally WASHED)
- little notes i keep from friends and cards from the kids i teach sayin " love u miss dina"awww
- many gifts that i got from ppl who were dear to me...

ill edit it with more answers later :) enjoy

I QUIT!!!

Well... after 3 months of working.. i have had enough lol.. not its not that ive had enough.. more than one thing happened... i know i made the right decision to leave..

i just didnt belong there and felt i had to leave... im soo happy now... i can appreciate the concept of : TIME!!!

no more stress! long TRAFFIC hours!!! NO MORE BOSS! this what i call...
PURE HAPPINESS!!!

i have soo many thoughts that are stuck in my mind waiting to be blogged... so i dunno where to start... i learnt soo much this past 3 months... its different to work and have a taste of the real world.. where MONEY is everything.. and everyone forgets everything when it comes to that... its sad... but true...

we live in a materialistic world and people dont really care abt ethics, morals, what is right and wrong.. its all abt getting what they want..and stepping on whoever gets in their way.. getting what they want no matter how they do it.

i miss the old days when my troubles in life were whether i got a "mickey mouse" or "mini mouse"lunch box to school... the older i get the more nostalgic i feel to those KG days :P

i got lots of job offers hamdulilah but im think im goin to take a break b4 i go back to the stress again... :) guess you'll be reading more thoughts

Why?

Why is it soo hard to express my feelings toward my family and parents when they should be the closest to me? I find no problem hugging total strangers but i cant even imagine huggin my dad... its like a mission...

im a very emotional person.. try not to be dramatic.. but i guess my sensitivity sometimes causes me a bit of a heartache... i worry too much abt the world and the ppl i know... and i feel guilty most of the time for things i shouldnt feel guilty about...

the other day my mom said somethin that freaked me out.. she said she is 57! and that my dad is 65!! i never saw my parents as old or getting old... i always see them as young and i guess in my head they both stopped at the age 40!!

May GOd bless them with long lives... its just soo creepy... and i soon ill be 60 and thinking .. omg... im shixshty yearsh old.. *cough cough....

sigh.... i worry too much... abt everything... wish i knew what the future holds for me... im jsuts too impatient and worried abt my future.... *sigh especially that now is the pasts future :S creepy thought

BLoGgiNg From Work

First time i blog from work!! well we moved to new offices.. as soon as i figured out the way to the other office they tell me we are moving!!! so im back to gettin lost everyday again!! I just designed these two silly cartoons for the bathrooms... FOR male/ female.. Duhhh...

Anyway....yesterday this lady was daydreamin while she was driving and drove into my car... she came down saying " oo sorry emergency break mam" :S i was like its ok ... i understand .. me of all people... i understand lol

So.. that moment.. when she hit my car... i got flashbcks of my life... i saw myself goin to kg... with my mickey mouse lunchbox in my hand... kissin my mom goodbye... then i saw myself with my big glasses that covered half my face... that ofcourse are at the tip of my flat button nose... and dresses that my mom made me wear... then i saw myself graduate.... and then graduate again from uni ... then at work... i saw my whole life pass me by.... *sigh*

i realized how ur life could end in a blink of an eye... how we dont have that possibility in our mind? we know it.. just dont really beleive it... we feel it could happen to anyone .. BUT ME?!

i thought of all the things i felt my life revolves around .. they suddenly seemed unimportant... the things i wanted to have done... the time i wasted... the dreams that just became dust in the wind.... the regrets.. the memories... people i dont want to leave behind.. people who probably would have no clue i existed... these thoughts overwhlemed me..

ok im being a drama queen... but really... that second... felt like a lifetime... i dont wan to die without feeling i have accomplished somethin in this life... *sigh*

Life is Ironic

The older i get... the more i feel life is ironic... how 2 sisters that share the same home and parents could be totally different in so many ways.. and 2 total strangers who live in the opposite sides of the world with total differnet cultures would have soo much in common... i find that amusing.... what even more amusing is how blogs can actually let ppl meet from all around the world... its a small world really... we are all connected in one way or the other...

especially in the arab world.. everyone knows everyone... you meet someone and as soon as they know ur full name they ask u a billion questions on " do u know bla bla"
and u sit there confused and wondering... ok im not good with names.. but even if i was good with names and had a memory that never failed me.. i dont think i would know someone who is probably 50 years old... soo i suggest u call my parents :P

before i used to think it was the environment around you which makes ur personality become what it is.. i think its not that.. its the experiences.. maybe a bit of genetics is involved too... or maybe chocolate intake..hehe i feel whar personally changed me the most is religion and how i apply it in my life... it just gave sense to my life...a sense of direction.. first i was lost... now at least i know where i want to be :) HAmdulilah (Thank God)

May GOd guide us all to the right path always :) Ameen

Internet Vs. Reality

When i first started blogging i got to meet my sweet friend and cyber twin sk who seemed to share all my crazy thoughts and we both are tall and love chocolate!! So we started emailing and getting to know each other and i felt we clicked and it was soo real! i didnt know how it would be in real life! so recently she came to dubai for a visit and we met! and now i know that internet and reality are not that different :) that only applies to situations when the person you were talkin to was honest and not a pathalogical or compulsive liar

im glad i got to meet my cyber twin Sk :) and i find this thought that internet and real life are not too different somewhat comforting cause i really have met a lot of nice ppl online and i know in real life they are probably as nice :) i hope...

sk has moved from cyber twin to real life twin :) so sad she has to leave sooon :( boo hoo!!

this recent realization about net and reality.... made me rethink the whole "falling in love" with someone b4 seeing them... it could happen... i guess.. you could fall in love with someone online... or could u? hmmmmmmmm

Monkey Theory!

You know those days you feel that you just dont want to see anyone... you dont want to be seen... not feeling gorgeous... feel unappreciated... unloved... loved by some psychos...

sometimes you feel this way because certain ppl you care abt or love dont care as much or at least they dont express they way you do... And those who care abt u make u feel bad cause you dont see them much like u used to... a cloud of guilt follows you wherever you go...

i started thinking abt the idea of rejection and how sometimes you see people who are amazing in every way.. that you cant imagine how someone would not see them the way you do.. those ppl come to you telling you they were rejected or heart broken.. that that someone just didnt see them in THAT WAY... got me thinking...

just cause you fall for someone who doesnt see you or appreciate you the way you need to be appreciated... it doesnt make u less special..

Its like a pearl or diamond necklace... if given to a kid or lets say even a monkey.. they would probably attempt to eat it or throw it away...

does it make that necklace worth any less that it is? NO!
does it make the monkey worth it? NO...

its just that the MONKEY doesnt have enough brain cells to realize how precious the diamonds really are... yet he reaches for the BANANA ....

Its just a matter or fate sometimes just a matter of taste... sometimes even we meet ppl who seem perfect and have qualities that you usuallly would go for.. but you just don't feel the click... and sometimes you fall for monkeys who break your heart cause they have no clue what you are truely worth...

so...always know its not you... HE is the MONKEY!

SH@wermA$ Are ON ME!!

ok.. i did promise you all shawerma for my first salary... and due to the circumstances that i might ever meet any one of u ... here is a pic of me cutting a shawerma up for you guys.. i swear its ME ! no i dont have a part time job as a Shawerma MAn...

yet i did want a pic with the shwerma since i love shawerma soo much ! ehehe

so this was taken last summer... i just cropped the rest of me out... the rest of the pic is me smiling a SIGNAL 2 smile to the cam... lol

i had a weird sense of power when i held that knife lol i remember how i ran to the shawerma guy in jordan and asked him if i could borrow his cutting knife for a pic lol... things like that only happen in my life... im crazy i know...


SO here u guys go... pick up ur CYBER SHWERMAS NOW! :) hehhe enjoy lol

i am soo tired working as a graphic designer i think id make a great 3amo shawerma man !

OH NO just remembered i have work tomorrow !!!!!

HOW DID THE WEEKEND FINISH!!AAAAAH :(===

ITS THE WEEKEND!!!

its Thursday night....wooooo hooo! *Dino* starts* fireworks!*

oh the bliss.... i dont want to sleep cause as soon as i do i will only have one more day left and then its work again!! SIGH! i have no life... i hardly see my own parents...

i forgot how it feels like to sit and wonder what i could do with my free time... but surprisingly i feel i get more done now with no time... :S

* Scratches head with confusion and counts on fingers

* Still confused scratching head vigorously.. head bleeding lol haha

still no answer

im getting carried away with my imagination again...

When i had soo much time i forgot all the things i wanted to do and i totally wasted it... Now that i have no time everyday i think of the many things i want and could be doing instead of sitting there starin at a screen all day... but do manage to fit some things in my schedule..

Its like when you buy a new treadmill or massage chair or anything new that catches your attention and u say " im definitely gonna use it".. u might use it a couple of times..

after a while its just there taking up perfect space and collecting dust...

we always say we will do things or think we will do things and blame it on circumstances when we dont... get BORED easily... distracted easily.. or simply LAZY... ehehe

i know when there is a will there is a way... Soo weird how when we are determined to do something we do it no matter what the circumstances... what am i talking abt? how did my weekend topic end up being soo philosophical.... lol

what i am tryin to say is.... us human beings are never satisfied with what we have ... we always feel that the grass is always greener on the other side... i am tryin to live my life thinkin that maybe i am on the greener side of the grass :)

hamduillah ( thank God) for everything... i feel blessed today... dead tired... yet blessed

Segreg@tion Mode

Have u ever felt the need to be alone? A need to just to have ur space. I usually get that need when im not happy or just simply depressed.. i hate going out or seeing people... laughin when its not really from my heart...

So.. why am i unhappy u ask? hmm hadmulilah i have my health my family a good job lots of friends.. i really dont want to say im unhappy... but its just those moments of plain emptiness when you feel ur life is passing you by and your not where you thought you would be.. and things arent going as you planned... i think its a phase.. it will pass..

i feel an emptiness in my heart..in my soul.. *sigh

not even a bar of chocolate filled that space!

Im $ick @gaiN

i didnt go to work... wish i enjoyed this day i took off.. but i didnt go cause im sick... spent the day in bed.... everytime i leave bed i feel my body is magnetically drawn back to it! i think tis food poisoning again... my advice dont eat any chicken.. especially not from fast food restaurants...

just talkin abt it gives me a pukey feeling....

at least i have time to blog today lol.. so i went to a restaurant the other day and i broke a glass... and i have to mention that i ALWAYS break cups in restuarants .... its like a thing i do.. not intentionally ofcourse .. soo embarassing but i walk and i dont pay attention...

reminds me of the time i tripped on my own foot! HAVE U ever met anyone who TRIPS ON THIER OWN FOOT?! LOL i mean how did it get in the way!? well i was nervous that day planning not to fall... guess i planned too hard... got the reverese effect...

i better go back to bed...

The FUTurE

So.. today i was sitting with my friends and we started asking each other all sort of questions like " do u see me married?" .. i dont see myself married... at least not any time soon cause to me marraige means love and commitement and knowing the person really well... feelign he completes me.. that i cnt live without him... ofcoure he has to be tall and understanding and FUNNY!! slowly i get the feeling he doesnt exist... so anyhow... i dont see myself married but i expected that ppl do.. i was surprised that most my friends say they dont see me married!! :(-- they say no one is good enough or that no one can keep up with my craziness!!

Then someone mentioned how me being hyper and over cheerful all the time is just a reflection of my inner emptiness and sadness!! is that true!! That to be truely happy i need to be in love and loved... i thought it wasnt true but maybe a part of me is sad because it feels the need to settle down and be with someone who fills the emptiness in my life...

I do feel happy.. yet i know that maybe there is a certain happiness i havent felt yet.. the happiness of finding that one person who will make me whole.. *sigh..... where art thou my laffffffff ...

ne way 2moro is work,, really am not in the mood.. weekends go by soo fast and i didnt even do anything... arghhhhh so annoyed.... !! Suddenly im not all cheerful... *sigh

AnnoYing Moment$!!

Do you ever have those moments in time where ur put in a certain situation and u react in the wrong way.. or say the wrong things and after that you think of the best things to say and WISH U said somethin else?!

well... listen to this... i was called up by some radio station the other day !! and ofcourse i was surprised... and i didnt know what to say.. think i sounded like a retard.. ne way... it was a quick call... unexpected.. yet i managed to sound like a total airhead!! So now my craziness is known to all uae! hehe i guess ill get over it!!

Those moments when ur head just goes BLANK! And u hear urself speak and u dont even realize what u said!!! AAAAAAAAH! i dunno what i said... it was just a horrifying experience and for the rest of my life i will think of the many endless possibilies of things i could of SAID!!!

wish we could format some memories... or even just rewind and redo things!!!

why does this always happen to me? i always blurt out things and then afterwards i think ...
OH NOOOOOOOOOOO what did i say!!!!!

Think before u speak Dino!!!!!! hmmm I try... but usually i speak then i end up thinking abt the silly things i SAY!!!!! lol

BlinG BlinG!!

I GOT MY FIRST CHECK!! WOooooo Hoooo! still is not a reality to me... since its just numbers on a piece of paper! but well soon ill cash it and SPEND IT! without feeling GUiLTY! without hearing those lectures about " money is not found on trees" ! or "where did ur money go"!!

So... been dead tired.. havent been doin much lately but work work work.... in traffic evryday i notice how everyone has thier own thing goin on..its very entertaining and FUN!
id see some guy picking his nose... another having a fight with his wife.. another singing along to a song without realizing how silly he looks.. another guy dozing off.. another women fiXing her makeup... some sleezy guy with a tinted window trying to give u his number... another lady is overexcited talkin on the phone... some guy eating a sandwich so fast that u wonder how he could have finished it in 2 bites!! life... oh life... and if u see a hijjabi in car probably lost somewhere.... u don t have to wonder who it is.. its definitely me!!

anyway... what is up with people hintin that now that am gettin my salary i need to buy them gifts or spend it on them.. emm emm.. is that a must? lets see.. if i get everyone who mentioned somethin like that somethin i will not only have spent the salary i would have taken some extra cash from my dad! hehe ok ok .. ill get u all shawermas! hehe

Life is 2 $hort 2 B Understood!!

So... one of my many thoughts was how we sometimes underestimate things in life... we see someone and we would want to say somethng nice but we dont... thinking it wont matter.. not knowing simple words can change someones life if said at the right time...

We find our money is spent on nothing at all because we spend it on the little things... We don't realize that its those little things in life that matter the most... a fortune is just a bunch of pennies gathered throughout the years... A lifetime is actually minutes and seconds... a river is made out of little drops of water... a desert is a bunch of sand particles... A mountain is a bunch of rocks on top of each other... and so on...

i believe one word can change a life.. and one word can end a life... an hour a day is 365 hours a year... a portrait is splashes of ink... a novel is a bunch of letters ... every moment is unique and will never be repeated again... different yet the same...

life is a only a limited number of breaths and heartbeats...it only takes a split second for a life to end.... *sigh

Let's not underestimate anything in life.. because its the little things that matter and make the big things..... every second counts....

too philosophical today... *dino walks into dark desert smoking pipe and scratching head analyzing insects!

Rotten Apple$

So... the past couple of days soo many thoughts have gone through my mind.. i need to vent i think ill blog for the past week today!! soo i got this fwd the other day..

Girls are like apples on trees.

The best ones are at the top of the tree

The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones

because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them,

when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right boy to come along,

the one who's brave enough to climb all the wayto the top of the tree.

So i guess im on the top of the tree cause im single! And i guess all my married and non-single freinds are rotten apples?! hmmm is that a good thing? And well with the technology throughout the years a guy can easily use a ladder a long stick, a Trampoline, to get to the apple! LAZY BUM!! And well knowing my luck.. if a man is man enough to come and get me.. he will then realize he could have a burger or a chocolate instead of an apple and change his mind!!

Anyway... at least i know im not a rotten apple lol!

Egg D@y!!

im soo tired! i envy bears who get to hibernate!! can humans hibernate?

hmmm im typing this blog with egg and olive oil in my hair... why u ask? i was wondering why i did such a thing too!

i was talkin to my friend and she mentioned how eggs and oil make ur hair healthier! hmmm and i guess i had to try!! Suddenly i feel like a walkin egg salad!! Sure hope i dont smell like one after i clean it out!!

So... today i left work at 10:40 PM!!!!! imagine?! im still in shock at the amount of work i managed to get done today! im seriously rethinking this whole work decision! The thing with design and advertizing its not like you go to work and leave.. u have to FINISH the job.. :(-- it takes more time than any other job!!

*sad violin plays in the background as dino tells the sad story of her life

Why dont i just quit and start my own show.. i love entertaining ppl!! i should of been a stand up comedian or a chef!! You what would of been worse though.. me being a TOUR GUIDE!

imagine me with tourist tryin to explain some site .. "like hello everyone... we are now... *scratches head....." we are"* looks at tourists confused and says... "where are we?ok dont panic people just follow my lead... if u see a COW follow it.. it will lead u to the right way".. i have a history with cows helping me find the way!!

the only that has kept me awake and able to type this now although its almost 2 am is the redbull i drank.... its wearing off i better go get this egg out of my hair b4 its too late!!! :S

did i mention how i found out that stress makes me get spots?! not major spots.. but ne way.. right now there is this spot centered in the middle of my forehead! just like some indian ladies have a red dot.. lol im sure they will envy me now that i wake up with my natural red dot!!

PiGGinG OuT

Got back home later than usual... shall i mention how i missed a turn ? or u guys know i get lost everyday by now? anyway.. its soo sad ... id be already sick of traffic.. tired.. hungry..thinking abt soo many things so i end up daydreaming and missed the turn!! ( STOP LAUGHING)

*glares at audience

so its not just about my lack of sense of direction its about my lack of CONCENTRATION! i think i have ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER!! And that is like ONE of the many disorders...

im also afraid of tight spaces! heights! i can go on forever lol why do i share this with the world? remind me please? hahaha...

so... after a looong boring tiring day at work... i feel like someone stepped on my neck or drove over it with a truck!! its soo stiff!!! wawaa me :(

So... i got back home.. and without thinking i found myself automatically heading towards the kitchen!! *soldier in the background yells " ATTTAAAAAAAAACK"

u know when u are soo hungry that you feel u have the ability to eat EVERYTHING! And u suddenly have a craving for EVERYTHING! And even when you are full you wish u had an extra stomache so that u can keep goin lol ( again im sharing way too much info)

dino trys to speak... fails and only says *oink oink lol

soo i found myself wondering in the kitchen mixing all sorts of food... i think that was a bad idea!
if i get sick 2moro i know why lol

ok the reality is i didnt eat that much but i ate a bit of everything which itself is equivalent to DIGESTION SUICIDE!

im off to bed now!! feel like someone left a log in my neck and an alien in my stomache! lol

Lo$T Ag@in!!

ok.. today.. after work i decide to take my coworkers advice and take an easy way to avoid traffic!! in my heart i knew i was goin to get lost... but i was like .. maybe..just maybe... for some miracle today i will suddenly have some sense of direction.... *eaaaaaa*sound of bell when a contestant says the wrong ANSWER!!

today i reached RAS AL KHIAMAH... for those who dont know much abt uae.. ras il khaimah is kind of like as far as abu dhabi... if not farther... sigh...

ne way so my plan to avoid traffic again lead to me reaching weird places!! i got home.. dead tired.. still am... and just as i was attacking some food i found lying on the table after a long day!! the door opens.. my sis comes with her friends who were in PARTY MODE! ofcourse i can never say no to some FUN! i used the energy i had and went crazy with them !

NOw the girlie party of 3 is over... and im left even more exhausted and i think im going to collapse at any second now! AAAAAAh the thought of waking up 2moro is just soo depressing!! * crys!! its mothers day 2moro and i dont know what i should get my mom... any ideas?

why isnt there a daughters day?! hmmm what abt a tall girls day? or a hijjabi day? hehe or maybe a CHOCOLATE LOVERS DAY! that i would love to seee!! time for me to shARrrrRRAp now!:P

Time Time Time

No time... at all... weekend just passed by so quickly.. not only my weekend my life seems to be passing by so quickly.. its like just yesterday i was in school waiting for the bell to go off for me to carry my backpack and run home! its like yesterday that i was buyin my mickey mouse lunchbox for KG ! its like 2 days ago that i felt 20 was a long way to go!! Aaah.... soo freaky... im like 24 and i don't know how i got here!

the other day my sister found this home video my parents had recorded like 20 years ago!!! Its soooo WEird.. how there are moments in time that we never knew existed that are on TAPE! i saw myself jumping around all cheerful dancing oblivious of my surroundings!

seriously i was even a cheerful kid! everyone around me was like busy doing their own thing and i was going around in circles laughing entertaingin myself!! My friends say i look the same! lol i feel the same! bit taller though hehe

Got me thinking abt those many many many moments in our life... we forget about... its like if i never saw that video i would have never remembered!! Soo many good memories seem to fade away... i would of never remembered my dad's face as he carried my little sis smiling and maknig the weirdest sound effects to make her stop crying... so many moments in out life are lost.... not caught on tape... i guess we have to learn to appreciate every moment.. each moment is special and will never be relived...

one of the reasons i love takin pics and filming home videos is because with time there is only so much ones brain can remember and its those pics and tapes that capture those moments... feeling very nostalgic at the moment... wish life was as simple as it was as a little kid dancing to some silly song abt a big fat "dabdooba" <-- bear in arabic.. lol

gotta get back to work... see ya

It$ D@ WeeKEND!

AAH.... finally its my weekend!!! i slept till 11 am today! FELT GREAT!!!! my neck is still in pain.. but i am appreciating this TIME!! SO... what will i talk about today... i was thinking abt how we always try to do the right thing.. and sometimes to do the right thing u end up doing somethin wrong? ok too deep? like for ex.. men who park their cars in the middle of the street and block the roads ( WRONG).. they are doin that only to get to the morning friday prayer ( RIGHT)... sometimes we are too caught up tryin and focusing on doing the right thing that we end up doin something wrong in the process... sigh...

So i am a working woman... its one of things that happens overnight.. happens so quickly it takes time for the though to sink in... like graduation.. its like all u look forward too is graduation and when u graduate u just are in disbelief for a couple of years lol so now i graduated and working :)

i wish i could take a peek into the future... like 10 years from now or even 4 years from now if im still alive... would i be married to mr. right?? will i still be bloggin?? would i be happy? what sort of shocking experiences would i have gone through by then?! *wonders

Anyway.. im goin to watch a movie now .. enjoyin my weekend while it lasts!
I cant believe they gave me work to do on the weekend! no wonder ive been sleep walking lately!!! i do sleep walk sometimes... talk in my sleep... but only when im really tired!

EXHHHHHHH@U$TED!!

no time no time no time.... its like i rest my head on the pillow as soon as i get comfortable and doze off i feel its time to get UP AGAIN NOOO! *dino throws alarm out of window!! * sinks head in pillow * hugs covers

seriously... hate waking up early!! then the morning traffic... and my car apparently is dead too and is making the loudest most embarrassing noises every time i hit the brakes! i was driving next to a truck and i swear my car made a louder Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee noise when i stepped on the brakes... YES I KNOW i need to change my brakes and fix my car!! but NO TIME!!! by the time i leave work all the places are closed.. inshala on sat on my weekend..

so ppl keep asking me what exactly it is i do at work... here are 2 ad ideas i did for a new phone!! its a girlie phone made out of GOLD!!! its for 4000 dirhams! i would NEVER buy such a phone! id rather spend my money on shawermas or chocolates hehe just kidd.. seriously its gonna end up fallin on the ground a billion times a day because im always so disoriented!

in general i am not a materialistic person and dont care much abt showing off... if i like somethin i get it... even if it not gucci or worth 4000 dirhams!!

so why get a phone that expensive and have my heart break every time it falls!! hehe ne way.... here are the 2 ideas the client is going to chose from.. gives u a better idea of the things i do... i design ads,logos,flyers.. etc..

I was very emotional today for some reason.. maybe its the extra redbull ive been drinking.. and the caffiene overload... i dunno.. in general im way too emotional.. and i wish i could just be less sensitive... and most of all I WISH i didnt think TOO much!! all day not only am i exhuasted with work i find myself analyzing things, planning the future,regretting some things in the past,wondering abuot the present, missing things ( like sleep), reliving memories in my head,erasing other memories!! SOO MANY othe thoughts go through my mind.. sigh...

*i need sleep!!

btw another thought that crossed my mind today ... i thought of all those ppl i miss and really care abt that have NO CLUE and sometimes they assume i dont care because i dont email msg call or see them as much as i want to..... and i thought of those ppl who you would love to contact but u DONT for some reason or the other... maybe because u feel they dont care enough to contact u.. and in some cases either u get too busy or u feel that something is stopping you...

maybe u feel its better to keep ur emotions to urself because as soon u express urself and open up to a person and let them know how much u care, let ur gaurd down ull eventually get hurt....

those thoughts made me realize that NOT ALL those who are in touch CARE. and not all those who ARE NOT in touch DONT! someone out there could be missin u and thinkin abt u.. only u wouldnt know it ... guess that is a happy thought... or maybe not? :S

LookInG Too H@rD

Today was a long day.. woke up later than i was supposed to... jumped out of bed and was out of the house in less than 10mins!! wow... then i was glad that thursday the trafiic is less sinsce most ppl have thursdays off.. i reached work on time... so... on my way back ofcourse i managed to get lost.. its a daily thing... so pretty much i end up spending my salary on gas and radar tickets!!

So... i didnt go straight home i saw a surpringly great movie " Derailed"! not bad at all!

ne way... so on my way back i had soooooo many thoughts!! SO many.. i always replay conversations in my head.. and analyze the world continously... sometimes im overwhelmed with my own thoughts... which explains why i get LOST!! i daydream a lot lol

so...the other day i was looking for some superglue to fix my broken shades... then i found myself thinking everything i see was that superglue ... its like when i used to look for my lost contact on the ground... or a little screw that fell from my glasses... same scenario..

everything i see for a split second seems like the thing im looking for... got me thinking... abt life.. and how this doesnt only apply to super glue!

its like when someone is in love... they love that other person soo much that everyone they see somehow looks like them... its like u know he is on the other side of the world but u could of SWORN U saw him walkin in city center next door!! hehe

So.. i think when we are looking soo hard for things in life we tend to easily rush into making hasty decisions and assumptions when in reality we should stop looking that hard and one day when u least expect it... it will come to you...

its the same concept of looking too hard for love... fallin for someone you havent even met or hardly know... i dunno.. im blabbing again....i think too much.. wow i hope no one wakes me up 2moro!!

Cow D@y$

hehe have u ever had a cow day? and what is that u may wonder.. a cow day is a day that starts out fine.. u wake up makin cow like noises because u want to stay in bed.,... u get soo tired at a certain point that u feel like a cow that has trouble moving... haha ok im exaggerating... i adore cows ... MOOOOOOOO re than ull ever Mooooooo hehe

ok... so today i went to work and ofcourse i decide to take a new route to work to avoid traffic ended up really close to OMAN another country... hmmm.. i have no sense of direction what soo ever... lol ... seriously mr magoo is better than i am... ( those who dont know who mr magoo is... he is a blind man who drives a car... cartoon.. ne way...

so i have no time to sleep... or do anything.. the only free time i have is the time imk stuck in traffic.. i end up makin all my calls hehe.. soo.. somethin happened and got me thinking again... i was on my way to work on a raod i have passed by soo many times... and i dunno how... there was this amazing garden to my left that i never ever noticed... its been there this whoel time but i was too busy complaining abt traffic and the ppl who just cut infront of me when i drive.. that i NEVER took the time to turn my head in the other direction... it was a beautiful garden.. full of flowers and trees... i literally gasped.. ( in a non horror movie way) hehe

this got me thinkin abt not only this amazing garden that was right infront of me all this time.. but the many amazing things i might have missed out becuase i was too caught up focusin on the negative things.. i am tryin to always try to see the beauty of everything... to look the other way if i might say... soo many good things out there that are left unoticed or appreciated... so with this attitude my drive back home was not negative at all.. instead of thinkin of the 3 hours of traffic ahead of me i thought of how nice it was to call up my friends who i have not been in contact with in ages...

there is always a way to see things positvely.. even in the worst scenarios..as i always say,. its all in da membrane... :)

gtg get some work done b4 i faint

W@rning : Energy Level$= Very LoW

aaaaah today i signed the contract with the advertizing agency... i am officially a VORKing VOMAN!!!!!!! YEAY!! remind me why that seemed like a happy thought.... my time... just seems to evaporate... i wake up from around 5:30 since the way to work takes 3 hours with the sharjah dubai traffic.. i stay there till 6:30 then i get stuck in the dubai sharjah traffic till 8:30.. then i get back home and i have to work on the work they gave me to do at home.. ofcourse by now im DEAD tired.... so i collapse into deep sleep.. and just as soon as i am gettin comfortable in the warmth of my bed i hear the ANNOYING ALARM!!!

AAAAAAH! remind me why i wanted to work llol.. ok the brigh side is that i feel like im doin somethin in my life and now that i have no time whatsoever i realize the so many things i want to do IF i had time!! ANd then i remember like a week ago is at home thinking WHAT CAN I DO WITH ALL This FREE TIME!! AAAAAH! oh how i already miss sleeping.. sigh

its soo funny how we plan our lives every single day... what we will do... who we will marry.. and in the end God is the one who chooses what is best for u.. i dreaded work in media city and i alwayds said id NEVER work there.. and here i am... i guess its my fate to get stuck in traffic everyday... im still in shock that im working.. all happened so fast... unexpectedly..

when ppl used to say im too busy with work i thought they were just makin things up.. that they were just sayin.. they dont want to hang out with me in a nice way... now im the one saying " cant go out.. too much work" today i officaially say goodbye to my social life.... *waves to friends sadly* blows nose... *crys

im soo stressed out the moment.... so many projects to do... i hardly have time to look in the mirror * looks at mirror SCREAMSSSSSS !! omg... why didnt anyone tell me i had a huge ink mark on my face?! lol maybe its a good thing.. will distract ppl from the sudden zit appearance! i dunno how i got like 3 spots on my face.. suddenly.. not like zits.. red spots.. hamduliah i have clear skin so i never get zits but i guess its the stress / lack of sleep factor!!

*applys facial and cucumber on eyes to relax... realizes facial is made out of fruits and yougart.. eats it.. ( i forget to eat these days).. then dino eats cucumbers that were on her eyes lol

ill try to blog whenever i can.. since some ppl liked my work il just keep postin my work here till someone complains :) no one said anythin abt the islamic calligraphy poster.. *ehm ehem.. it took me ages to get that right *sigh

gtg get back to work.... *faints on keyboard

$piritu@lity

Today i found myself more spiritual than other days... its because i spent the day with ppl who remind me of GOD and the beauty of ISLam.. i sat there thinking of the many ways GOd has blessed me.. the many ways i consider myself blessed... and then a thought came to me... I thought how Merciful GOD is... we sin.. HE forgives.. we forget to thank God for many blessings yet HIS blessings are showered upon us everyday..

what if for each time we sin we lose a blessing? What if every sin we do is written on our faces for the world to see? WE all have sins... no one is SIN-free ...

yet one of Gods many blessings is that HE doesnt punish us with our sins even when sometimes we deserve to be punished.. HE forgives us and not only that.. GOD loves us... and His mercy upon us is more than than the MErcy of a mother on her own child... subhannallah...

i thought of how much i want to be a better person... of the many times i forgot to thank GOd...to pray... how i feel like a hypocrite sometimes because i say things i dont do..feel i always have ups and downs...oh how i wish things were easy... but i know life isnt easy... but heaven is worth all the trouble.. inshala GOd will guide me and help me to be a better muslim.. to set a good example..

i just realized how thanking GOd itself is a blessing... i am even blessed by remembering God ... al hamdulilah..

WorK Work Work

Ye$ i think i got the job inshala.. but i didnt sign any contracts waiting for the call to confirm.. but im already goin to work .. the problem is that there is soo much work to do.. and so much traffic on the way... ne way... i guess its better than sitting at home.. im feelin kind of sick... throat is killin me.. ne way..

i think this will be my last weekend as a non-working woman... hehe im already stressed out with loads of projects to do... here are a few ideas for posters i came up with today... not finals so dont look at the quality of the image .. its just a concept... ne way i gtg get some work done... brain is abt to explode..

Dino$ @dVenTuRe$

oh wow.. yes i expected adventures today... but not this much!! lets see.. i woke up at 6:00 am... got dressed for an early interview... then well ofcourse i got lost on the way.. its like a MUST! even if i go to the road a billion times... its like a ritual.. i always take a wrong turn somewhere....

sooooo.... i head to the interview... and well.. i was a bit nervous and when im nervous i blush.. when im happy i blush.. when im stressed out i blush.. my face is pretty much always red ...

so i go in the interview tryin to be all laid back.. turns out the interviewing me has studied psychology and was analyzing me every move..

i feel so awkward when ppl stare directly at me for a long time.. i feel like i have to look away... but looking away sometimes gives the wrong impression..

so in the middle of the interrogation.. and staring straight at me.. he comments on how i seemed stressed out and that he noticed im blushing ! hmmm i wasnt nervous till he mentioned THAT!

SOo..... then he says casually... " there is an earthqauke" he doesnt move from his share..or flinch.. or react.. he was just smiling and so relacxed while the building felt like it was swaying from left to right!

i sat there unsure whether to laugh.. to cry.. to run.. to stay put! ( keep in mind the building is very high.. sooo... i thought i was nervous and imagined the world was shaking... turns out it WAS ACTUALLY SHAKING!!! AAAH!

i wanted to just leave the office and run ... but he was soo cool and casual and said.. " im not scared.. whatever will happen will happen if u want to go downstairs go"!! emmm i felt silly so i stayed!!!

SO well after a long interview... i leave thinkin " omg earthqauke!" as if i needed more events... this guy comes to me and says " hi my friend just saw u and wants to marry u give me ur parents number"

LOL that was defintely something i didnt expect.... i mean how can he decide to marry me just like that?! neway... so i leave the place.. go back home.. get stuck in traffic for a billion hours... ofcourse missed a turn somewhere... now i have loads of work to do... cant believe im blogging..

but omg.. today was eventful for me... i even forgot to EAT! *stomache growls

still dunno how the interview went.. wish me luck guys .. pray for me ...

CoMMiTmEnT PhObi@

So... time for more of my psychological problems.. hmm what should i talk abt tonite ? i wonder... lets see.. what is the subject that is brought up every SINGLE DAY? hmmm did u guess? YES MARRAIGE!! Everyday someone has to mention the M word!!

Well i understand that well eventually most people get married..and that its the way life is... ur a kid.... u GROW up.. u realize ur not a kid anymore..ppl realize ur not a kid anymore... they begin to NAG NAG NAG!!!

so u decide its time to get ur own kids... soo hmmm ok fine GET MARRIED! ehe its not like a button u press... or a decision u can easily make JUST LIKE THAT?!...

so ppl ask " WHY ARENT U MARRIED YET?" is ther a right answer to that? hmmm u could say

"welll... hmmm why get married and raise a family when u can raise cows and sheep instead.. at least U milk the cows!" (sarcasm)

Well... im not against marraige ofcourse... but i hate the continous nagging and obssession abt it... i mean why the rush??

Don't know why i thought that by the time i feel im READY.. suddenly the RiGHt man would appear at my doorstep on a white horse! Well... too much TV for me...

I feel if someone who could potentially be my future husband comes along .. there always a major FLAW or lets say OBstacle... makes it impossible to consider.....

Lets seee.. Too short....Too serious.. Too Open-Minded...Too Controlling...Too Clingy or Emotionally Unavailable...Too immature.. Too Broke....Too Boring... i can go on forerver.... sigh.. no im not picky... but there is ALWAYS something wrong..

im not perfect.. ( although i know you all beg to differ ) lol heh YES I KNOW NO ONE is perfect... but i know someone out there is perfect for me... and when i meet that someone ill know if he is THE ONE... and then i probably wouldnt freak out about commitement ...

i hate the feeling of being responsible for a family... little helpless kids who depend on you for everything ... everything includes diaper changing!!! ew

i hate feelin tied down or controlled.. For some reason i feel marriage is somewhat a way of sacrifcing all ur time,efforts,plans...etc UR LIFE is no longer urs.. heh

ur life becomes ur family... ur time is thier right... ur life revolves around them.. and thier lives revolves around u... Its not a temporary decision u make and quit like a job u feel didnt go as u imagined...

MARRAIGE IS IT! it is THE Beginning OF THE END!! heh see it is FOR LIFE...FOREVER.. THE REST OF UR LIFE with someone... WAKe up to them everyday... EVERYDAY....SAT SUN MON TUES WED THURS FRI ....Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!! i get bored easily!! i need my time ALONE! i hate routines! i hate too much REsPonsibilties!


*twitches

*gets asthma attack

Im not sure im ready...sometimes i feel i am... but i wish ppl would stop NAGGING!!

i shall raise COWS & SHEEP!!

oh how I love cows! is it allowed to have a Cow as a PET ?

Time Fly$

i was sitting thinking to myself ( as usual).... yes i know i think too much... hehe ne way... so suddenly i realized im 24!!!
HOw DID I turn 24? i distinctly remmeber my 11th birthday... when i thought 24 was stilll THE FUTURE!

i am living the FUTURE! WEIRD !! i had soo many epxectations that i never reached... i thought by now id have my life figured out.. that i would stop being crazy... that id be serious and into politics and maybe GOLF or BINGO hehe

but NO... im the same... taller... yet the same... wiser.. i guess hehe but the same.. i worry that someday ill be like this old lady i took a pic of... and i would wonder HOW DID I turn 80!!!

for some reason i find it hard to believe old ppl were once young and lively.. except for many ...a couple of ppl an arabic singer ( sabah) and madonna who still act like teenagers.. i have to say madonna looks pretty good for her age... i want to see her turn 90 and coming out with her latest album.. heh

will i be one of those annoying old ladies who try to look young at the age of 80 ? Will i even reach the age 80?! And if i do will i be married? Will i emabarrass my kids by being silly infront of their friends?! hehe

i feel most ppl after a certain age try hard to go back to the old days... look at this old lady in the pic.. she was once a teenager! she once had crushes! she had a future to look forward to! she also had TEETH!! :S

i dont want to get old! and i dont want time to pass by this quickly without feeling i accomplished anything major! Guess this is life...

So....I NEED A PLAN and FAST! Time is running.. and i don't even know how much time i have left... pass me the kikat now .. i need a break from these depressing thoughts!! heh

OuTT@ ConTrOL!!

Today was a long day.. not cause it was boring but cause i did so much.... i woke up early !! The day started out beautifully with RAIN! RAIN IN UAE!!

* Dino rubs eyes in disbelieF!

Well i didnt feel great about my shoes sinking in the muddy water puddles ! Other than that i love THE RAIN! Even the air is FRESHER! When it rains everyone runs inside or covers their heads with umbrellas, paper bags, newspapers or whatever is available! THAT is what people DO!! ME on the other hand love walking in the RAIN!! i usually am the only one who runs out when it rains.. i remmeber when i was a kid i used to open my mouth really wide and look up tryin to get as many raindrops in my mouth! hehe ( yes ppl then also thought i was a freak)

So... AFter running around in the rain.. i rememebered its thursday.. my fav day of the week because i have a group of kids who i teach every thursday morning... they are adorable and cute!!!

They say im the coolest teacher.. i guess its cause i let them play the whole time and never yell at them when they are not listening to me.. i need major disciplining courses... i try to be assertive and i end up looking at their cute faces smiling and laughin and all i can do is smile back or tell them " if u dont listen to me ill leave.. with a puppy face... sometimes it works ehe i too have irresistable puppy looks hehe

So.. today i expereinced something that kind of traumatized me me for the rest of the day.. my close friend has 4 adorable kids mashala..

Anyway i was standin on the side of the road waiting for her to get the car with 2 of her kids.. till one of her kids ran towards the STREET!! i felt soo SCARED!! and HELPLESS! i didnt know which kid to FOLLOW! i realized how much of a responsibility it is to have a kid!!! Sometimes they get OUTTA CONTROL and just dont listen!! i swear my heart was about to STOP seeing her run towards the street! i felt how vulnerable kids are.. how i dont think i can ever handle a 24 hour responsiblity of having my own kids!

YES I LOVE KIDS sooooo much.... but its because i love them soo much that i dont think i can emotionally be able to handle gettin my own! im too caring and i worry too much... even when they arent my kids... what if they where? id be PSYCHO MOM!

id probably have them on leashes! or have some sort of chips implanted in thier skin so that i know where they are all the time! hehe

So.. i spent the day with the cutest kids in the whole world... had home made pasta which tasted GREAT!! Watched a bit of TArZan ( cartoon) hehe then got a call for an interview... went well.. im thinking abt exploring my options b4 i make the decision... today was great... still thinkin of that moment i freaked out... Thank GOd nothin happened... but the thought of SOMETHING could of happened scared me to death... May God protect them and watch over them...

now i am pretty much exhausted im thinking of sleepin early tonite... *yawns * stretches.. hand hits table lamp.. lamp falls breaks into peices... erm ermmm thinks to self.. " why do i keep forgetting tall ppl have long arms too?" hehe

P@Le$tiNe

Pale$tine..my home country...oh how i wish i could be there right now... there is somethin abt being in a country and feeling that you belong there.. i am palestinian.. and well we all know that palestine is now known as Israel... im not much into politics but i have to say my heart aches for my country... i feel like by living far away all my life that somehow i have betrayed it...

i say i am palestinian.. but what have i ever done for my country other than a few posters to help express the extreme captivation and mistreatment palestinians go through everyday?

The sad part is that the media plays a major role in what the world believes and knows.. many people have no clue on what is going on in palestine right now... what you see on the news is not even close to reality....

my heart aches for palestine... but i feel helpless ... im proud to say im palestinian... and although i might not be in palestine right now and i dont know when ill go there again... but i carry palestine in my heart wherever i go....

*sigh....

dino has a patriotic side hehe

Suicid@l Thought$?!?!

Have u ever felt that you didnt fit in?! like you were a stranger in this world? Feared death yet longed for it soo much?? IS death really the answer? Some people who commit suicide think by doing that their horrible life is over... suicide is not the answer... See this life is meant to be crappy and full of disappointments.. the older you get the more nostalgia you feel towards the past... the more problems and shocks you will face...

Yet... i feel with all the disappointments and sad moments that we experience there is always those few moments that are engraved in ur memory that make it all ok.. those nice words that someone special said once.. the innocence of a child when it smiles at you unaware of what is to come later on... the sound of the waves hit the sea shore.. the smell of fresh roses.. the amazing taste of CHOCOLATE as it melts in ur mouth.. the good laugh u shared with friends...the amazing beauty of GOd's creations.. the way the clouds look like huge cotton candy in the sky...many more..

so maybe the bad outweighs the good.. but the few good moments make it all okay... and when im depressed or hurt i try to think of the positive things in life... maybe i lost a friend but at least i know i have good friends who care...and its not the end of the world... and there is always somethin to smile about :) like this COW who is totally convinced it's NEMO! hehe

Conclusion : $uicide is never the An$wer!

side note : I LOVE COWS!!

$orrY Ag@in!!!!!

sorry is a word i hear alot... unfortunately it has no use when is said after breakin my heart... who said its only men who break our hearts? i think what is deeper than the heartache for someone you love is the pain you feel when someone u truely cared about and trusted and felt was a true friend to you lets you down.. yes i said id be careful with who i trust.. but yes i was careful from the wrong people.. its those who u care abt who hurt u the most because u DONT expect them to...

i am typing this blog with a new fresh wound.. excuse my typos for my teary eyes wont allow me to see the screen properely... SOrry? what can it do for me now?? I feel like my heart shrunk in my chest..it suddenly wrinkled up.. its not that ive not been hurt b4.. its not that ive not been disappointed b4.. but its just that i really didnt expect it this time.. ouch

i feel utterly horrible... hurt and overwhelmed with heartache.. im not a weak person i know that .. but im gullible and sensitive and i wish i wasnt this way...

imagine someone who u considred was a friend to u for the longest time... someone who you truely care abt.. suddenly tells u that she no longer considers you as a friend.. that you sometimes you are FAKE!!!!! For no reason at alll... out of the blue.. u realize that this person who u thought was ur friend doesnt feel the same way... im not talking about someone who was just a social aquaintance.. im talkin abt someon who u had up soo high.. someone u felt was special and unlike the rest... that is what i call a MAJOR MAJOR OUCH.....

after all this i still am not mad at her.. or even hold anything against her.. all i feel is disappointed... and silly... mostly i feel hurt..

will i ever learn?? but she said one thing that i agree with... when somethin is broken it will never be the same.....

today i feel something major was broken.. my heart... and a friendship that i thought was true and hoped would last forever

call me anything but FAKe.. i am the most straightforward person you will ever meet! i say what i feel and i mean what i say!! If people have trouble believing im sincerely a goodhearted person who truely cares.... then that is their problem.. al hamdulilah ( thank GOD) for everything..... at least i know what i am... :(--

im heading to bed.. too much drama for today.. i hate crying..