American WaLAAAkin

I havent had time to illustrate my own cartoons got this off the net but added my text :p but i will soon inshala :) but have lots to blog about.. 

ok.. so did you ever meet one of those ppl who lived all thier life abroad and speak english " bet3ajo" ino ERR ERR American or Bri2ish.. and suddenly they speak arabic and say something like

"Bakaayna Ka3dat fel 7adeeqa it go2 really freakin cold fa rakathna 3al DAAAR"??

welll true story.. wa fe minhin TCHTHEER TCHWAam Tchwaam

il english Yo Yo wil 3arabi HATH HO

and i have to admit its hilarious... and shocking to see the transformation. but it made me think...

*someone yells.." yee 3alaina wa 3al falsafeh again

So.. why is it that we feel so strongly that the AMErican Accent is the "Prestige" accent.

Why isnt the Fala7i accent seen as vulgar, and some would look down on someone who speaks with such strong Falaaa7i accent and degrade them like they are beneath them because they dont speak

Sheeka Beeka

ya3ni we would be sitting in a group.. and a girl whose english is no so great would pronounce a word wrong like .. the P. B. or PRAD BITT. or pronounce a silent letter like 

WAitor can i have the SHEEEKIN FAJJJJJITA

i think i would crack up.. walek FAHeeeta Faheeta ya habla.. hathi il JJJ SILENT.. zay il MObile fil cinema lazim ykoon SILENT .. 

* ja7ra as she reminds her of the time her phone rang mohamad muneer 3alee soootak lil Ghunnaaaa in the middle of the movie 

So... what im saying did you ever see a group of AMericans or Brits siting in a room talking in ARABIC and then the American was reading an ARabic WORd and pronounces incorrectly and his American friend laughs at him ???

NO LIESH??? li2ano i7na il 3arab ... we forgot that the Quran is in ARabic.. this is the Language God Chose to address us in.. which means its the best language in the world.. whether its Fala7i or just Arabic we should be proud of ourselves and not make others whose english is not so great feel bad..

i personally feel bad that my english is stronger than my Arabic

*someone says " IKHS"

*looks around.. and yes its something im not proud of.. wa nifsi akoon shatooora fil i3raab wil Spelling wil qawa3ed qabl ma aseer min il qawa3ed min il nessaaa2

my dad is from tulcharem. and when he used to speak to us bel qaaf. "Quleeli wa Qultelek" and we used to laugh and make jokes.. and now i think about it.. il fala7i accent could sound funny to us but its how they were brought up and does not make them any less intelligent or classy that the ppl who say " 2aal wa 2ulna"

old lady says :

"LaweEish Burtunoo engleeezi hadol il NABi 3arabi"

but i confess.. i just love love the falahi accent and just the mix of fala7i ana amreeki will always make me laugh because its just so drastic :P

Deep Thoughts

Hokay... i must say fe nsaas hal layali im i find myself caught in very deep thoughts. so warning ra7 atfalsaf KTEEER..

I was thinking about a lot of things... i dont know how my thoughts went from oh this hot choco was sooo yummmy if only i could have enjoyed it more drinking it without my mouth and face being Numb.. i went to the Dentist today.. and well now when i smile i look like two ppl. one side smiles the other frowns.. freaky.. im sure there is a good side to this.. hmm if anyone slapped me now i wouldnt feel it..

*someone slaps dina min nifso .. ermmm WRONG side.

AYYYYY.. what was that for anyway?? *ja7ra..

sooo anyhooo.... back to my deep thoughts * wears thinking cap..

i was thinking about life.. and the cycle of life.. and how we all set our priorities in our lives thinking we are making the best choices.. What if our priorities were wrong? How will we ever know?

Let me give you an ex.. i thought of my dad.. he spent his whole life working.. he life was hard ever since he was a little boy.. My grandpa was 3ageed il 7ara apparently and well he had a tough life and when he was old enough he saved money for a ticket to Amreeka sheeka beeka.. and when he got there to pay for his tuition he had to clean dishes and work two jobs while he studied.

He built himself from scratch and when eventually he got married to my mazar wa khalafna ana wi ikhwati.. he provided us with the best education and life he could. Something he wanted to give us because he felt he never had. He spent his days and nights working. Traveling at times and even when he is around he was not around for so long that it was hard to really sit and talk with him.

The years went by so fast and we grew up and yes i love my dad and yes all he did was for us to give is the best life, but was it all worth it? Was he working extra hours because that is all he was used to doing or because he needed to? i felt he reached a point where he could no just sit down. he needed to work.. he needed to get up and work on something..

Sometimes we don't want gifts or money or fancy clothes.we want the person you love to be there when you need them the most.. now i think back of all the time i missed.. that he missed.. time is so precious... but we take it for granted.

Akeed this is not an inviation la kol rjaal yuk3udo fil daarr wa yel3abu ma3 wladhum. im just saying.. we just need balance..

We work and work to get money and when we have enough money we want more money to ensure our future and our kids future. And one day.. like my dad.. he wouldn't know what hit him when he suddenly had a stroke and was left fully paralyzed and unable to speak.. all his money in the bank frozen that even He cant spend it on himself in a time like this.. Al hamdulila money is not a problem but im just saying.. working is good and sometimes its not a choice but a Need.

We need to work to provide for our families.. we need to work to feel like we are making a difference in the world..

we cant get everything in life.. its just so hard knowing that whenever we make a choice we are missing out on another one.. i think we should all learn to balance our lives and priorities.so that we don't wake up one day and think to ourselves that we missed out on the best days of our lives because we chose to chase a dream not realizing that we were already living the dream.

we need to know that sometimes we miss out on what we already have because we are so worried about fulfilling a hope that we dont really need.

Allah yshfeek ya baba ya katkooti il kabeer..


next post shall be more cheerful.. i bromise


Disclaimer :

This post is not 6al6eesh 7aki to anyone.. and i am not referring to anything in specific.. this is just me thinking out loud.. i know someone taweel wa katkoot might think im referring to him but i really am just thinking about my experience here so dont over analyze this *throws fly kiss in the air * waves bat really hard

DUjjjjjjj * fly Dujj hayy kur kur kur ma aznakhni.. time to sleep

SuperMama SuperStress SuperMan *giggles

im sure alot will be thinking.. yeee 33alieena another Mommy Post... Bedha t7amelna jmeeele again ( (translation : she wants to carry a beauty on us  :p) that she is a mother.. like we used to feel when our moms gave us lectures about motherhood and reminded us of pregnancy and said

" bukra betshoofi bas yseer 3andek wlaad" and we would say.. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 3alieeenaaaaa


Life passes by so fast and when i get a moment of silence and actually have the ability and time to look back at my life.. like right now when kol 7ada nayem.. and im resisting the urge to sleep although i think i might fall asleep before i finish this post.. twitches

*ighmaa2 on keyboard

eihweihfifhtioghgfhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

* wakes up from MAC ding ding ding from keys being pressed by dinos nose

So as i was saying.. its not the physical part of motherhood that is the hardest part.. suddenly pregnancy and labor and all that pain seems like nothing compare to the emotional stress and vulnerability mothers can feel.

It starts when we are pregnant and start feeling bad for breaking the rules and not eating right all the time.. thats when the motherhood guilt starts.. the guilt comes with the worrying.. am i doing everything right. will the baby be okay.. how will i go home with this little nu2ta??

you start freaking out about how tiny the baby is... your body feels like it has been hit by a train but the love you feel is overwhelming.. you no longer live for yourself. you live for your baby.. and as days go by you start to get the hang of it.. you learn the best ways to close the diapers so that they are no leakage accidents.. you are brave enough to bathe your tiny baby without the help of your mother or mother in law.. you try to do everything by the book.. only you have no timeor patience  to actually read A book!

24 hours a day for the rest of your life you will be constantly worrying and thinking about your children.. in your eyes they will always be the baby you held in your arms that day after alf saneh of labor...

i used to think the hardest part was labor.. till after labor.. the i thought the hardest part was the sleepless nights... till my baby start sleeping through the night only she was walking now and i worried about her hurting herself all day long..and so on.. truth is it doesn't get easier... every age has its difficulties and challenges.. and i feel like a failure most of the time and i will ball my eyes out almost everyday because i always feel that i did something wrong...

i especially feel that when my law law is throwing a tantrum in the mall and ppl give me the " bta3rafeesh trabee look"

or when a mother stops you from giving her kid "Cheerios" ( which to me were a healthy snack) because they have sugar.. *GASPS * dina hides bags of chips and chocolates

i know i make mistakes.. and we all do.. but i have to stop beating myself about it and start looking at all the things i did right instead of all the things i have done wrong.

the most important thing is that i will do my best to be a super mama... i am not superman.. i mean superwoman..

speaking of superman... Salmooli 3alieh * giggles like a 13 yr old muraaheqa

Astagherulllaaah.. yala qooolo ma3ay  " Ya Rab ma teftin Dina fe Deeeenha" :P

Ameeeen...

 * someone throws shibshib at dino.. is that Sheeshany?? oh thanks thats one of my shabashib ive been looking for it

You know watching the movie superman made me realize that usually im sitting there watching a movie ma3 ba3li and all sorts of Gamameer come on screen wa lazim faj2a tma6er wa yghayroo malabess wa hakaza... its the first time there was not much ladies but focus on il wad il Super * evil laugh

and i want to say... GUYS how did you feel watching the movie next to your gamoorat?? did you feel like you wanted to punch him? did you feel like you dont want to be compared ?

Did you wish he was SUPERFAT like this ?

Did you feel your blood was boiling at the thought that the person you love would ever compare you to that? l well that is usually how us woman feel when you stare at ridiculously hot woman on tv!

Dino yells : Hathol il Setaaat Ma bikhalfooosh ( someone yells  ANGELLINAA has 20 walad)...ermmmm

ok ok .. dina ends argument before ma tkhabes haha


Shoofo.. i started talking about Motherhood.. and somehow ended talking about Superman.. and it seems any conversation or topic i have with anyone leads to this same topic

*sighs

on a serious note.. Allahum balighna Ramadan.. wa ihdeeena wa ij3al kol zawj fe 3ayn zawjto Superman wa a7la kaman  :)

Ana zowji tab3an bya3raf he is my superman mini zaman ba2olo hayk ( 7aqeeqah ) wa aydan tar2eee3

.. wa akeed ba3looolu  by3arf ino il soora hay il feeha ana wa superman is just il nas bet7awel twa2e3 bayna .. ma kaan fee bayna ishi.. bas kont bawka3 min il sutu7 wa ana banshur il ghaseelat wa lagafni suBarman..

innocent wag3a.. i bromise :p

Turkish Bath Horror

So i havent been bloggin much.. i would love to blog more.. i would love to do alot of things more.. but    well life as a parent of two very naughty girls is not easy and there isnt much time to spare. and when there is time i am too lazy to type... but there is always an exception... i have to blog when i experience BIG shocking experiences... 

* if you are under the age of 18.. look away from this post cause it might get ugly hahaha

husbandee took us to our first family trip to TURKEY! up until this day Turkey to me was only a sanweesha of turkey and cheese.. or a MUSALSAL turkey.. i must admit thanks to my mother in law i am hooked on 2 turkish series now.. and whenever i am RELIEVEd that its OVER! that i finally finished the 19892893898 episode.. i find out there is SEASON 2 3 4 * ya lahweee

soo any hoooo... we went to turkey.. with two kids.. two stroller.. 3 bags & lots of Jnaan.. My comments on Turkey is that its a beautiful country.. weather is lovely.. ppl are friendly.. and well it made me wish i concentrated in History class as there was so much History in ISTANBUL!

And if you think its only the turkish series that are 7abeebeh wa Laveeveh you havent seend Turkish ppl in real life.. Kolo fish 7asheesh be7eb il taani.. Couples everywhere holding hands, heads in each others laps fel 7asheesh*dino stares at ppl expressing thier love and feel she is in musalsal.
* ppl give her a look that she should stop staring

as i tweeted before i wish there was a DAblajeh button where i press it and everyone around me is suddenly speaking Syrian :S But anyway balad 7abeeeb... m7ajabat mush m7ajabat kolo love love love ..  zay muhanad wa noor wa hakaza

Dogs there seemed drugged though for some reason all the dogs there are always sleeping or about to sleep!

But i must ask the Turkish BEOBOLS.. Why why dont you speak a little bit of english.. ya3ni keef keef ballahi can i explain i want to buy" BAMBARZ" to wa7ad befhamsh english or arabic

* man stares at dina as she acts out the word KAKA.. :S ok ok i didnt but i was abt to!

So.. they hardly speak english or arabic other than the word " Tanzeelat Tanzeelat"

The Country is not Children friendly which is why i believe they LOVE kids because there arent much kids in the streets. I think ppl there dont bother leaving the house with thier kids because its just TOO HECTIC

* dino pushes stroller on rocky roads.. carries them up stairs with husbandii.. * kids head wobbling up i seriously was worried if there was any IRTIJAAAJ fil mukh! long days of sitting in a very bumpy stroller ride.. lulu was kind of cranky and did a huge tantrum in AYA SOFIA.. well when she grows up and studies it in school i will tell her.. MAMA we took you there and your screams echoed inside!

*dino tries to calm her down by pointing at the calligraphy.. Shoofi ya mama.. haada maktoob min alaaaafff il sineeen hahhhaha yeahhhhh that worked KTEeeer ( sarcasm)

After spending 3 days in IStanbul we went to ANTALYA... another plane ride only this time with a bus ride to the plane and my poor ba3li had to carry both strollers to the bus.. wasnt a long flight though and was worth it! Antalya is beautiful..

So now we get to the main event... *drums roll.. Jowzi al 3azeez saw how stressed i was and offered to let me get a turksih bath and massage in the hotel.. at that moment i thought.. YA SALAM.. relaxation. i envisioned candles and relaxing music .. skin shining with nathafeh...

So i go up to the Spa.. to a lady who ofcourse speaks no words of 3anglish..
I understood from her sign language that i should get ready.. i pointed out that sharafi ma besma7 that i wear only my birth suit.. and at that moment i thought she understood...

holding on to my towel like it was sharaf il 3eileh i walk with her to the turkish bath ghurfeh.. and once we walked i saw..... * twitches... agool wala ma agooollllll

OLD Naked Ladies... Fat Old Naked Ladies... sitting there like its OKAY.. Chatting along ... with things hanging and at that moment i wanted to run out.. but it was too late....

and the rest i cannot say.. all i can say is... it was not in my hands.. actually the towel WAS in my hands.. then it wasnt * cries hysterically and hugs knees...

hatha kowm wil  MASSAGE kowm... i forgot i cant really blog about this... its an experience i dont think ill Get over..

Sharaf il 3eileh..... daa3 daa3 hahhahaha

here is an additional video from Turkey... pls notice my tasweer il video clip.. ahaha

Following your Instincts..

Instincts.. when do you follow them.. when do you ignore them... i am a person that believes that we all have an internal radar.. its tell you when things are right.. its tells your when something is fishy.. i tend to ignore my instincts at times about some people.. because what i see from them contradicts what i feel.. i tell myself maybe i'm paranoid.. maybe im just being negative and doubtful of a sweet innocent person.. then.. something happens and i say.. I should have followed my instincts..

So when.. do we know its instincts and not just natural worries and doubts...

When do you follow your gut even if following your gut might seem irrational.. so what is intuition ?

Intuition is basically how you quickly tap into your subconscious mind, which is where you "archive" all kinds of information that you don't remember on a conscious level.Sometimes you pick up on things subconsciously without realizing it, such as body language. It'll register as a certain "feeling" that you can't articulate at that moment, but it could very well be valid.

You may fight your gut feeling.. and ignore it.. but eventually and sooner or later you will know that this feeling was there for a reason..

All this time i thought instincts was something on a psychic level.. i didnt know it was actually like a subconscious data base of collected information that we have gathered from previous experiences.

What if you meet someone and they seem nice and sweet but your gut tells you they are bad news do you back off and follow your gut feeling even though they still didnt really harm you or do you just give them the benefit of the doubt?

i guess this is one of my serious posts.. next post will hopfeully be a funny one :)

Im Back To Bogging :)

Hellooo! Essalamo 3aliekin! how r u my lovely readers.. So as you know now i am Marara-less.. Gallbladderless. i feel like i have had a C-section.. Hamdulilah much better now. I am pretty much back to my daily crazy schedule. IT was a tought experience and my emotions were on a rolelr coaster.

Time like this kind of made me realize i am surrounded by people who love me. Al hamdulilah. I am blessed with so many things i can't even begin to count my blessings. Al hamdulilah.. It made me set my priorities straight. See true colors of some people... But Al hamdulilah

My surgeries went well. the Dr was hilarious. He kept making jokes about me being inflated for both operations. Told my husband he can leave the hospital by tying a thread on my foot and i will float like a BALLOON.

The whole surgery experience was scary. I mean you are lying there in a different world with people cutting you and blowing CO2 inside your stomache and turning you around and ofcourse they SEE EVERYTHING! AAAAH!

I didnt know surgeons always played music in the operation room! as soon as they rolled in the bed i heard all the nurses and dr chatting in a chatty mood making jokes.. like there are about to sit in TCHE TCHE or something .. then i hear  " CHA CHA CHA rampa rampa" lambada like music!! and as i was thinking in my head to say; PLEASE QURAN balash amoooo..........

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

WOke up to the sound of farts.. and i was thinking WHO IS FARTING?!?!?
OMG IS THAT MEE???
im not?? OH ITs not EVEN A FART! WHAT IS THAT??!?!?!

I was DEFLATING.. and it was a very long awkward ride to my WARD ... the philipino guy pushing the bed was enjoying my lovely TUNES hahahahah

HOW EMBARASSING!!

Then i was like oh the surgery was in my stomache so glad no one saw my Bumm with the sad excuse for disposable underwear they give you in the hospital... only later do i find a sticker... in a place i thought was Unseen.. * cries..

ya fde7tchi il ba2et be galagel..

Its that awkard moment after surgery when your Dr comes in to check on you.. and you think.. should i wear my hijab... hahaha i did wear it but i think the Dr found that funny :S

So.. nwo everyone says... "MEEEN Faga3alik MARARTEK!!?!?

(who exploded your Gallbladder)

i keep saying jowzi akeed... bas huzbandee miskeeen.. hahaha

Im back and Bloated.. and Thank you all for your support and prayers.. I really would not have done it without your kind words..

Allah yes3edkom!

Kidney Stones? Gallstones? Weish Gaal?

So... I have been having upper abdominal pains.. The first time was about a year ago.. First time it happened i was pregnant with lonlon.. at that time i told my Dr she said pregnancy causes all sorts of weird things to happen. that i should expect anything from nose bleeds, abdominal pain, numbness, GAS, back pain, hemorrhoids & the list goes on.. sorry this was too much detail.. 

So anyway ofcourse as usual i ignored the pain.. cause im not important i have no time i always delayed taking an appointment. Recently the pain has gotten worse and it was no longer a pain i could ignore. It was no longer just once a month or every two month but at least once a week. 

I had an appointment with the Dr. a few days and he did an endoscopy. Before he was telling the procedure i interuppted him saying " oh i did this before".. He asked really?? i sasid yes i once swallowed a PIN..

*dr holds in laugh

*awkward silence

So anyway... after that he said i had no ulcers and that i probably had REFLUX. its kids of like heart burn but worse.. So well i thought maybe thats all i had.. joojle it

They called me yesterday with the ultrasound results saying that i have not one but SEVERAL kidney stones and GALLSTONES. At this point im like " HUH?? wisho HATHA? i have no ideas what those are what causes them. All i know is that growing up i heard my grandmother and uncles and aunts had them which is why i thought it only happens to the much older generation. i remember always asking my mom  " shu il 7asweh??? " i remember she answered me but i never really Understood it :S ino 7ajjar?? jowa il batn??

So im sure many of you like me are clueless about this so here are some links to know more about what these stones are and what causes them.. so you know the symptoms before its worse and you need a surgical procedure like me.. there could be several causes and im still waiting for blood test results to know what caused mine.. Maybe being half from GAZA.. dont they call us ATFAL al HIJARA! (children of rocks) .. i just didnt expect to have rocks inside me :S 

http://www.ehow.com/about_5369269_symptoms-gallstones-kidney-stones.html

Suddenly all the things that i was thinking about before the Drs call seem insignificant. Fights with friends over stupid things seem pathetic. All i think of is that in one minute God can turn your life around. One minute your okay the next you are getting prepped for surgery.

Al Hamdulilah for everything. It also got me thinking. All this time i have put my kids first, my family always comes first. my friends, my responsiblities. I have had a tooth ache for more than 1 year now as well that i keep delaying getting done! I then remembered that on an airplane, they tell you attend to yourself first then help your children. And that is done for a reason. Not because your life is more important, but because if you dont attend to yourself and you die, you will be unable to save your kids. So putting yourself first sometimes is not only Okay, but the right thing to do. 

Inshala if the operation goes well i will change my life style, start taking care of my health. Eat Right. Not ignore any more pains thinking im JUNGAR. because i plan on being there inshala for my kids. I plan on being well inshala so i can make sure they are cared for.

Mother or Monster???

                                         

There is a thin line between being a mother and being a Monster.. i say that.. and i believe its true.. one moment your a loving mother that holding and cuddling your kids and tickling them and laughing and admiring their cuteness.. and then next you are screaming at the top of your lungs and saying and doing things you know you will regret minutes later.. you dont even recognize yourself!

I didn't know motherhood was so hard. And everyday the levels of stress get higher. I think of all the things i have done wrong and do wrong. Even Love is stressful.  

After you are a mother, its unlike any love you ever knew. A selfless love. A love so strong that you would not hesitate in giving your life to your kids. Loving them so much that you want to give them everything they want. You want them to be the best and want them to be better than the rest. You want to protect them from the world and its pains. You want them to be healthy. You want them to be well raised and well mannered. You want a lot of lovely things for them. 

You will FAIL in achieving all those wants. You might succeed in a few. And somehow you will sit there thinking of how you have failed yourself, your kids. Depressing thoughts cloud your mind and judgment. You start doing irrational things or get ANGRY. Sometimes angry at your kids for never listening to you. Angry at yourself for not getting it right. 

Tired + Stressed + Nagging Child + Continuos Tantrums = DAMAR shaamel ( Ulitmate Destruction)

I used to think having one kid was hard. I was so wrong. I used to think i lost my mind before. Truth is now.. i REALLY lost my mind. I don't remember a thing. People have to repeat the same things to me 10000 times and still i wont be able to save it in my memory. I suffer from memory loss. oh how i wish i had WEIGHT loss! ahah 

I know my kids are a blessing. I cant imagine my life without them. Just the thought that anything could ever happen to them ( b33ed il shar) makes my heart stop. Allah ye7meehum wa ykhalelna iyahum. 

So i should not be complaining at all but motherhood is really tough. 

Please If you ever see a stressed out mom. Dont judge her. just Hug her. she probably needs it!

IM a WOMAN, I GET PREGNANT & carry all the weight,
Many days I couldn’t even walk straight!
I Deliver a BABY and I’m in labour for hours,
I Always WAKE UP for night feeding,have no time for showers!,
I COOK, I CLEAN, I HAVE NO TIME for READING
“STOP Hitting your sister!” I YEL as i cut the carrots ! OUCH! I’M BLEEDING
I WORRY Constantly, I make sure everyone around me is CARED FOR,
Every Bone in my body aches and feels SORE!

I AM A MOTHER. I POTTY TRAIN!
Most of my days  feel like I have been hit by a TRAIN!!
I have cleaned so much poop off floors
I have given TIME OUTS behind many doors!

I have been pooped on, puked on, chewed on, spat on many times
I DO the grocery shopping & try not to commit any crimes:P
I MADE our house a HOME, I Drop the kids to school.
I also occasionally make humus & FOOOL

So please before you belittle any WOMAN
remember that NO MAN can bear what a woman CAN
Even if he can cook FATET BETENJAN
He will never handle KOL HAL JNAAAAAAN!!

How Did i Get HerE?

How did i get here? i dont mean the literal  "HOW" that you learn in biology class or  what one of your friends in grade 4 told you then you stopped talking to her for weeks. haha

 i mean when did i finish college! when did i turn 30 (almost 31 kaman) *GASP?

when did i become a mother?
oh..when did i become a mother of 2!!
oh wow my lulu is starting to walk, and talk oh wow she is in school already!
my other baby is about to start to walk?! when did this all happen???
did i really like wael kfoury at one point in my life?
did i really listen to boyzone and sign thier songs with tears in my eyes?
I used to not wear hijab? i totally forgot how that feels like ( al hamdulilah)

i look back and i hardly recognize myself. i have changed so much. in so many ways.
i ask myself many questions along the way.. like..

why was i never prepared for any of this? i feel time is running so fast and ill i do is find myself looking back at memories and thinking, how did all that happen.. it all feels like yesterday!

I still have vivid memories of school days and how we used to love the lunch break, how i used to like to hang out with my best friends talking about the stupidiest topics like they were world changing matters.

I still remember how it felt when my mom and dad gave me the " ra7 adba7ek look" after i did something wrong.

or when your parents tell you to go to bed and you stay up all night chatting with your sister and laughing till your abs feel like you had a workout. then you hear " YALA NAMOO"

Suddenly im the PARENT, that tells my daughter to go to bed. and i pass by her room and i hear her giggling and playing and i say in a serious voice " YALA NAAMI"

its like a vicous cycle.. and there was a point in my life i never imagined myself as a grown up. I never thought i could be a mother. I still feel being a mother is a daily challenge i go through everyday.

You get married have kids. (hopefully in that order)... then you raise them the best way you know how... and you will make many mistakes along the way... so at first you are shocked at what motherhood really is.. sleepless nights..and many other surprises..a 24 hour job... and even when you get help and decide to take a break from the kids.. there is the mental GUILT of leaving them.. or the CONSTANT WORRY..
you get thoughts like
"What if she woke up and didnt find me?"
"What if her temp got up in the night?" All sorts of thoughts go through your head that you realize you are not really taking a break or enjoying anything else because your mind is with your kids 24/7 and it will be with your kids till the day you die. Your kids are a piece of you.. a piece of you that is more valuable to you than yourself.

At First you worry about SID( Sudden Infant Death) at night and if they throw the covers on thier face and stop breathing so you wake up like a psycho every 5 mins to check if your baby is ok.. most babies suffer from colic for the first 3 months. and that is something i didnt know about..

Then they are a little older and you start solid food you worry about them choking on things
then they walk and you worry about them falling and THEY WILL FALL! :( bump thier heads and eat all sorts of crap they find on the ground

Then there is the potty training and you will love that..literally SHITTY phase of your life.

Then they go to school and you have to deal with all sorts of naughtiness. Mostly kids giving each other lovely virus gifts. So your kid will be sick all the time.. and if you have more than one baby all your kids will get sick.

After they finish KG they start getting homework and they start requiring more attention and might even talk back or throw worse tantrums. The tantrums get bigger with your kids is something i have learnt.

Then they are teenagers and want thier privacy and dont want to talk to you cause  " YOUR GENERATION" will not understand thiers. and they ignore your for thier friends.

Then they are older and you have to deal with boy/girl issues and worry about what sort of ppl your kids are hanging out with.. you want to guide them and be thier friend but always come off as the authority figure and cant find a way to let them open up to you as a friend without reacting like thier MOTHER.


Then you are now hardly seeing your children cause they are too caught up in thier social life and when they talk to you its either for money or something they need. They say hurtful things. and you might say things " ye2ta3 il yom il khalftkom feeh" haha sooooo thennnnnnn.....

They grow up and get married and you are left ALone with your spouse and you will think to yourself again ..

HOW DID I GET HERE?? 

EID MUBARAK !

EID MUBARAK EVERYONE !!! I have been meaning to blog for a long time but so much has been going on i havent really had the time to blog! but ITS EID! I HAVE TO POST SOMETHING!

First let me warn you the sheep are not happy this EID. they are very angry.. as you can see from this APP they created :) :P

 i really hope you all had a lovely EID and that you did something FUN for the kids ! We had a lovely EID party with a EID CARNIVAL theme! Wouldnt have done it without my friends who pretty much organized the whole event and made sure everything was PERFECT!

The best part about this EID party was that throughout the party we had lots of fun ! There were the EID letters cut out from FOAM. I drew some EID and Fun illustrations on them for the kids to color in.

There was also a jumping castle for the kids :) i dont have a pic yet. 

I designed the EID CARNIVAL poster as well

There was loads of CANDY! a HUGE CANDY STAND full of goodies and treast for the kids :)

Yeah a group of 25 sugar rushed kids is what EID is all about :P

There was also a photo booth set up with lots of fun props ( hats, wigs ties and loads of fun props) where all the people that attended can take a pic home with them as a souvenir of the PARTY

oh noo im one of those ppl who POUT for pics too! hahaha .. 

At the end of the party each Kid got to take home a flower pot with a bag full of little butterfly shapes and fun decorations and a glue stick. Something to decorate at home. 

And last but not least.. if you don't get to do a party bake some cupcakes with with your kids. make them a eid tradition. So easy to make all you need a a ready made cake mix box and you can even buy the icing ready made as well. Some marshmallows and thats it! might not look exactly like the photo but still it will be fun to make with the kids! :)

You know the best thing about this EID party was that now that the weather in dubai is a little better and not too hot to be outsidem the party was held outdoor and people who passed by to go the coffee shop near us would all stop and look and want to join. Some even joined and really wanted to be a part of our event. That moment meant a lot to me. All my life i have been looking at christmas parties, halloween parties, Easter egg hunts thinking oh they seem like so much fun why is EID always so BORING?!?!? FINALLY FINALLY we made EID FUN! and not only to US to non-muslims, non arabs and to everyone! That is what we all should do. ITs a TEAMWORK and it wont happen overnight.

LET the whole world know HOW FUN EID CAN BE :)

I hope by sharing our EID ideas you have been motivated to make your EID fun. And Believe it or not 

All these ideas are not costly if you know where to go to get the materials you need. 

:) EID MUBARAK to you and your loved ones! 

LETS MAKE EID truly سعيد

(happy)

MY BABY IS GOING TO SCHOOL!

Today was a special DAY! Today was Lulu's FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! i cant believe my baby is now a BIG GIRL! We packed her Hello Kitty bag together with new colors and pencils and i was so excited i think i hardly slept! i was also worried i would oversleep! No more morning naps. No more lets go on a vacation whenever we feel like it! We have a girl in SCHOOL!

I dont think she understands what school is yet and today it was pretty much a day for orientation making lulu familiar with her classroom! The truth is.. I think its going to be harder on ME! Im so used to have her home in the morning. I know she gets bored and sometimes drives me INSANE! But i love having her home! I am not used to being away from her. Leaving her in a room full of people who are strange to her! Not checking up on her every 5 mins to know what she is doing! AAH.. I think its harder on a MOM !

She used to sleep in our bed for a long time. And when i finally taught her to sleep on her own i admit the first few nights were very HARD.. on me.. i missed her little hands squishing the kalabeez on my arms. I miss how her feet would suddenly be in my face! habeebti law law!

I remember she used to cry everytime i left the house when she was a little younger. Now i leave her with the nanny and she just says " ateeeni bosa, ateeni big hug" ( give me a kiss give me a big hug) and waves. She is okay. she doesnt cry anymore when i leave her with the nanny! And i admit a part of me was SO HAPPY that there are no more TANTRUMS every time i leave but another part of me was like of "OUCH". Does it mean you don't need me anymore? Do you love your nanny more than MAMA?!

* dino beats up nanny  cause she is jealous ahahah :P Just kidding 

I just cant believe how fast they grow. my little baby is going to school now.. 

awwww.. i gotta go sleep to GET UP EARLY! 

Happiness IS a Choice!

Happiness.. a feeling we all want to feel... yet many of us sometimes feel very unhappy. and it makes me wonder is it all in our Minds? if i decide to be happy? will i succeed? There are days the littlest things get to me and make me feel depressed and ruin my mood! and on other days no matter whats going on i dont let anything affect my jolly goofy mood!! Its not usually something major that makes me feel depressed its those little things but it always depends on my state of mind whether those things affect me or not.

so.. 

I asked myself. What makes me HAPPY?! When am i the happiest?! When was the last time i felt truly happy?Other than when i'm eating chocolatE!

i asked myself all sorts of questions that made me think deeply about the true meaning of happiness. 

Is it being Content? As Human Being i Feel we always ask for more.

Is it Being Fit? Im sure there are Fit people who are depressed 

Is it Being Popular? the more popular you are the more drama you will deal with

its like a viscous circle .. so many factors can lead to happiness but those same ones can also lead to intense depression. 

We start looking for answers, talking to therapists about our feelings. Some even take medication to be happier.

In the end of the day its all about what happiness is to you. 

To some people happiness is about materialistic things.. about money.. being rich.. all about the "Bling Bling" so no matter how much money they have they always want more... and are always finding somethin to complain about.

Once i saw this poor man who fixes shoes for a living sittin in the street.. seemed soo poor that he doesnt even have a place to stay... but i rememeber he sat there with the biggest smile on his face ! i felt like the silliest person on earth becuase i compared my troubles and worries to his.. i was speechless... he found his happiness in his faith in God...he seemed satisfied with his life and that is how he found his happiness...

On the other hand.. some people are simply psychotic! im not talking abt psychos like me .. i mean REAL psychos! People who watch the movie "fight club" and base thier lives on it.. who like the idea of physical pain! Whether its inflicted on themselves or on others! Those who find happiness by school shootings or others decide to be serial killers. In those cases its caused by intense psychological problems!i suggest THERAPY NOW
Lets not go into that... *Worries she will get those ppl mad and they will come after her..

Some ppl find happiness in food.. eating incessantly till they are obese and suffer from cholestrol and many other obesity consequences... Others find happiness getting drunk or high..

All that binge eating, drinking and drugs is just a temporary solution that gives the ILLUSION of happiness.. you happy as long as ur EATING that yummy fatty burger .soon that happiness will be replaced with guilt and regret and intense depression ...

 could lead to worse things like anorexia or bulimia... u end up munching on chips and chocolates.. binge eating ... then.. there is the after effect.. you feel that this is not what u want.. you want to lose weight but feel helpless.. again u resort to food for comfort...munching away your depression....only leads to more fat and even more depression!

People who are addicted to herione or any type of drug also have that same cycle somehow... they feel a certain type of rush.. a state of mind that is more like as they would put it....
" outta this world duude" type of happiness when they take drugs or when they get drunk.. but ofcourse they is always the

AFTER-EFFECT.....

this is temporary happiness.... right??

So... another thing that is commonmost ppl relate happiness to LOVE.. and having a LOVE life.. or MARRIAGE.. having kids and a family... like if your life is without love .. how can u be happy?!

 That i think is becuase of the mind pollution we see in movies and tv everyday.. even in cartoon there is always a prince and even in "Lady and the Tramp" you see this romantic macaronah scene!

 Everything seems to be abt love.. a movie starts with a normal girl.. no love life.. sittin at home with her pet cat..someone the viewer can relate to!! ofcourse the movie ends with her being with her hot neighbor/co-worker/the CRUSH somehow...simply we are brain washed! :S come on .. ok it does happen but that doesnt mean anything.. u can still be single and happy!! 

And even if you get married and your love takes a different form that no longer includes walks on the beach holding hands or lovely dovey stuff. its okay! you can still be happily married because love comes in many forms.

running to the pharmacy in the middle of the night to get you medicine 

Buying the type of bread you like to eat or a jar of nutella :P

taking your car to service, taking care of you and all the things you cant do on your own

Being there for each other. and so on..

Others find happiness in doin things they like doing like art,poetry,singing,skiing.. anything they love doing... Others in their job they feel they are making a difference in the world... i think each and every person has different criteria in their mind .. when this criteria is met they reach thier happiness... look at your list.. REVISE it and realize that those things you relate to happiness are NOT what will make u happy..
 happiness is in YOUR OWN HANDS ! 
instead of saying " ill never be happy unless i have kids" "or till i get married" " till im rich"
say al hamdulilah to what you have and know whatever you don't get in life you will get in the hereafter and that its all Gods Will.

you CAN be happy if u want to! just make that decision!!! ( i should have studied psychology)!

i personally feel we often depress ourselves by having goals in our head that we hoped for and are disappointed we didnt achieve them yet.. things we wanted that we didnt get.. dreams we had that never came true

people you met and thought would make the "PERFECT" husband or "WIFE" who said things like

" UR MY SISTER/BROTHER" or "IM GAY" hehe

life is full of disappointments.. and we dont always get what we want... and we dont always WANT what we get.. BUT its all in our head and in our hands

i personally have learnt to appreciate what i have.. and i beleive strongly everthing happens for a reason.. the bad and the good..sometimes its hard to see it.. but eventually u know that its all for the best.. i have decided to be on HAPPY mode and not to let anything get to me... its all in my mind.... its all in da membrane....

we shouldnt base our happiness on things that can easily go away or fade away in time.. the first step to being happy is loving yourself for who you are..appreciate the little things in life..

Give yourself a hug now *dino huggin self

husband walks in.. gives her a weird look and leaves the room

even if ur a couple of pounds overweight/underweight... even if ur not what you wanted to be.. guess what?!

ITS OK!!!!

Its not the end the world! 

Remember money gets spent, a man/woman can break your heart, good food makes you fat,drugs can kill you if not cholestrol does!!

Everything fades... everything but GOD... i find my true happiness in my faith in Allah... and i feel if you believe God is watching over you and that your part of a bigger plan God has planned for you ... then.. ull find INNER peace... and that to me is TRUE HAPPINESS .. i wouldnt mind a huge bowl of chocolate too heehee

التوكل على الله والثقة بالله

وكفى بالله وكيلا

i shall end your torture now.. و احاول اللخص الموضوع

but i have to admit chocolate does add to my happiness!!! yummy!

CONCLUSION

Happiness is a CONSCIOUS decision we make . Everyday YOU choose to be happy today or you choose to be miserable. Your action/reaction is determined by how you choose to perceive a situation or experience.

True happiness is a choice that YOU have to make. It is a state of being only you can create and to change your degree of happiness, change your expectations or ideas you have in your head that you have tied with the thought of being happy.

Be thankful for what you have, instead of comparing yourself to others and thinking  about what you lack.

 Be satisfied with what you have and say الحمدالله because im sure there are many looking at you and thinking they would love to have something that God has blessed you with.

When something bad happens don't blame it on everyone else. Happiness is about accepting responsibility for your actions and dealing with what comes your way. Its about accepting that even bad things happen for a reason.

First step to being happy is 

SMILE and wipe that kashra off ur face and you will find that your smile is contagious
How can you not smile knowing that YOU are in GODS HANDS?!

Its all in our HEAD!

speaking of head mine is about to explode from this happy talk!!

urs too im sure

wa Allah yes3dkom yamma