20 ways to know you are an OFFICIAL KHALTO!

i'm sitting here wide awake at 3 am. thinking so many thoughts, worrying about things before they happen. Regretting, forgetting and analyzing my life. I think of how old my kids are now and it passed by so quickly. And well Laila is just 6 and graduating for KG2  and i know in a blink of an eye ill be sitting there in her high school and college graduation ( inshala).

Suddenly im that annoying Auntee that keeps telling her friends kids " ya habibi i know you since you were this big * makes a baby hand gesture that from the look of that teenage boys face is not a compliment at all. It suddenly hit me.. IM A KHALTO NOW! OFFICIAL!

Incase if you were wondering if you were one already here is a LIST i made for you!

You know you are getting OLD & are an Official Auntee KHALTO

1.  When you visit your friends whom you havent seen in a long time you OVERREACT when their kids come in the room. See in your head he is still a TODDLER.. suddenly a MAN enters the room and you actually NEED TO WEAR YOUR HIJAB.. GASP.. ofcourse you say.. something like

LA LA LA LA hada ibnek.. MA BASADE2.. akher mara shufto kaan lisa berda3.. * awkward silence
* oh that is your son last time i saw him he was still breastfeeding. & You start sharing embarrassing stories like " last time you came over your mom was potty training you pooped all over my carpet.

2. You find that most of your conversations suddenly take a turn and you end up talking about
RECIPES . "Ah wallah hayk bta3maleeha.. la2 ana ba7ot shway zebdeh ba3dayn bakhaleeha ten2a3 shway"..

3. When you sit down or get up you make those little moaning sound.. Ehh ... or say something like
" Ya Allah.. Yama ya habeebti.. heeeeh " or ask the nearest child or person to help you get up.


4. When someone gives you a recipe and says " Rashet male7" a hint of salt or shwayet baharat.. you actually know what those baharat ARE and how much you need to put in the Tabkha
 

5. You now have official sub7eyat with other khaltos many who are still are unaware of the STAGE of khalto they have become.

6. You probably by now suffer from a Back Disc,  or neck disc or just back pain or joint pain or have had your gallbladder removed. or like me All of the above..

7. You just want to wear that SAME BIJAMA that you have had for a billion years cause nothing is just as comfy. Inspite of the fact that you have many other PJS but none are as comfy as this one and no one can really see that hole anyway.

8. You can't walk in heels and when you do decide to walk in heels you carry a little bag with a SHIBSHIB with you & Clarks & hush puppies and Berkinstock are your fav shoe shops.

9. Your Digestive system starts failing you are your body reacts to the things you eat and you just cant eat the things you used to. And before going anywhere first you make sure there is a BATHROOM there.

10. When you hang up the phone you now do the " Ahlayn Ahlayn.. Allah ma3ek.. Ah ah " byebyebyebye ahlayn ahlayn bye bye



11. When you have visitors over you always stand at the door before they leave and talk for like 30 mins

13. When your kids are naughty and you have visitors over you give them "THE LOOK" that you used to get growing up that meant " ra7 afarjeeki bas yraw7o"


14. You can no longer stay out very late and want to be home early & are exhausted by the end of the day.

15. You talk about prices and " Ghala il Dinya wa il 3eeshe" a lot & ask about schools.

16. Getting off the couch is not as easy as sitting on it.

17. When that old lady in the Zumba Class keeps giving you the " i know how you feel" look.

18. You actually start realizing there is a different taste to " mlookhye, jibne and Zaatar  from Amman or palestine" & will most likely have some in your bag if you travel.

19. You say things like " YA ma7la il hawayat" & constantly compliment people in a formal manner.
 

20. You make 'du3a" for everyone when they do something nice for you ' Allah yerda 3alieki" & you start using those Amthaal like ( feel free to use these phrases and evolve into a khalto instantly:

il ALEB GHALEB
The Inside Is The Winner)(You Are More Beautiful Than Your Dress)

"Ya Raytak Khreet Wa Ma Hkeet"
(i wish you had pooped instead of SPOKEN) ( havent used this one yet but its very expressive) haha

Bil Wijj Mmrayeh Wa Bil Afa Surmayeh
( In Your Face He Is A Mirror And Behind You He Is A Slipper)


A3mali Mnih Wa Kib Bil Bahr
( Do Good and Throw It In the Sea)

 Al Urd Bi A3yn Immo Ghazal
( The Monkey in His Mothers Eye Is a Ghazelle)

*i can go on FOREVER. 

Anyway.. hope this has helped some of you learn that they are also now KHALTOS LIKE ME

WELTCHOME TO THE CLUB * hands over knitting kit and glasses as prize and REMEMBER THIS :

its the little things..

O

I am someone who reads a lot into things. I tend to overanalyze things that happen sometimes its good but other times its like.. over the top and excruciatingly annoying to those around me who just don't OVERTHINK things.. 

At the end of each night.. after kids finally in bed and i can actually hear my thoughts.. and the many voices in my head.. several with different accents.. i replay all my day and the events that happened and then one of the voices.. the rather mean one.. starts making me feel bad about things i did like. yelling at laila for not going to bed.. or replaying a conversation i had with my friends and suddenly the another voice comes and thinks of what the girl said to me and says things like.. 

"OMG what did she mean by that sentence? Why didn't I say anything back? "

 " You have to stop having Nutella for breakfast "

" Did you call * long list of names rolls in head..  la33333"

" YOU NEED TO WORK OUT MORE  ya um KARSHE!

 " Yeeee Nseeeti ta3mali .. ( fill in the blank.. cause everyday i forget something)"

so this goes on for about a few minutes before i faint from exhaustion.. and i have to say overanalyzing is stressful and unhealthy especially when you will never know if you are right most of the time..   

But what i really think is a healthy thing to is to contemplate on Gods plan for us in life.. even through the little things in life.. those little details we sometimes don't notice but when you think of them you realize they are signs from God that HE is there and that nothing is a coincidence.. nothing is chance.. Its all part of a plan..what happened with me.. Is I had to get groceries and that is something I must do usually to the point it feels like I am addicted. I feel if I'm not there they will take attendance and give me a tardy letter.. Anyhooo.. I was in a rush and when i reached i realized i had no coins.. and i really needed the trolley.. and well in that same second I arrived a chinese guy was taking his stuff out of his trolley and left it right infront of me.. Perfect timing..

its like time you didnt plan on going somewhere and then end up going and meet someone there by coincidence who gets you a job

Maybe that means nothing to you.. but to me it means that every second of my day was part of a plan to reach this trolley in that second... it means God knows what i need before i need it.. God will never let us down and if we look at those little signs everyday you will feel a comforting feeling and sometimes even goosebumps from those little things that actually have much bigger meaning :) 

Al Hamdulilah.. 

Think BOSITIVE

Think Positive.. or BOSITIVE! that is something i keep trying to do or tell myself to do.. Once upon a time i used to be a very optimistic person.. very trusting.. 

* visual of dina skipping around in a garden of flowers with two braids bouncy in the air and birds & butterflies flying everywhere

singing snow white songs

Well that was a long time ago.. i dont know if it happened over night or was it years and years of continuous disappointments and shik shak shocks...* does al ra3sha to shik shak shok song in her head

DINA FOCUS FOCUS

ok i was saying.. so somehow.. i find myself doubting people now.. and their sincerity and even if they are doing something GOOD i'm thinking... Why is she doing this? WEISH bedha? 

i find myself thinking of the worst possible scenarios about things that will happen or COULD happen and i get depressed at that possibility..

or even worse i sit with myself and analyze a certain situation to the point where ive talked to myself about it for so long in my head that i IT MUST BE TRUE??

One day i said to myself i will listen to myself.. and notice how many things i complain about daily and if these things are actually things that are as big a DEAL that i make them to be... are these things in my head or are they really FACTS?

ok truth is a lot of KAKA happens in life.. and kaka happens.. and what i'm trying to say is.. i believe that even in the worst possible scenarios in life.. when u fall in deep Buraaz.. even then you can still have positive thoughts.. think to yourself at least you are WARM?? ya333

i believe if we look hard enough in any NEGATIVE situation we can always see something positive..

Yesterday my daughter spilled her milkshake all over the floor..

 i was like Laaaaaaa2aaaa * slow motion 

sees milk splash everywhere as she jumps in the air trying to stop it..

i had just cleaned! and now im maidless i have so much on my plate... 

and i dont mean food plate. i mean sa7n al 7ayat..

MATA-FOOR  fil 3anglish ( metaphor) ya3ni

soo... as i was cleaning.. i moved the washing machine and found a spoon with "frozen" theme that i have been looking for for a long time... if she didnt spill the milk i wouldn't have found it. 

thats just one ex.. but positive thoughts is something we can practice on doing and it really helps.. and it has helped me a lot... and maybe one day i will wake up without these negative thoughts.. 

My cup is HALF FULL.. you know what some people don't even have cups or water! 

SO hamdulilah 3ala kol ishi

believing everything is part of Gods plan for us & that the good and the bad all happen for a reason everything happens for a purpose and trussing in Gods will even when you have no idea what purpose is yet is what makes things easier..

:)

My Short Trip to AMMAN (summary)

Amman.. ya 3amman... i have to say i was impressed by the new Airport.. its cleaner.. and bigger.. and more people smile.. yet there will always be those who are GARFANEEN and give you the " gul3a6 ygal3tek" look as they stamp your passport...

if you are in amman..you have to start your day with.. * drum rolll

ABU JBARAH.. the best humus and fool and falafel .. yummmm

Being in Amman always gives me schizophrenic feelings. It feels like home.. i love the weather i love the familiarity of it all.. the familiar sound of the GHAZ icecream truck music as it makes its rounds around the block.. the familiar cool breeze of air touches my face &  didn't realize how much i've missed that feeling of FRESH COOL AIR..yet fe kteer ashya2 betgheez like how people DRIVE.. how people dont follow rules and are pissed off all the time... 

 * side note.. laqad 7ajabt il bint fil soora .. zahrat al khaleej STYLE.. haha 

Speaking of FRESH AIR... one of the things i didn't appreciate in Amman is there is barely any SMOKE-FREE zone.. In one week i feel my lungs have somehow turned into a MATAKEH.. 

I love the familiar sound of khirfan as they pass by and you hear .... haaa3 herra3 tkkk tkkkkk 

as they block the road..

I have to say the TAXI rides are still interesting and every ride you never know what kind of Driver you'll get.. there are several kinds

the " Ana mush nasaab" driver that tells you he will never fool you cause you are not from Amman and as he tells you the story drives the longest routes to your destination.. 

The talkative informative taxi driver that shares all sorts of "Facts" he probably just made up..

"HATH IL DAWA IL MA3i min AMREEKA la kol il amraath ya zalameh agwanou3"

The "Garfan" driver that yells something every once in a while that is probably a masabe.. last one of those i got in said... "SON OF A BISH" when i told him to park close to the door * GULP

The "Cheesy sleezy" driver.. usually has more than one front mirror decorated with Danadeesh and lights.. looks up at you

* dino sees many eyes looking at her nazrat ya33.. suddenly  he plays a song as he smirks and looks at mirrors

Asaala nasri song starts" lama gat 3aynak fe 3ayneee  ibtada baynhom kalam. oltelak milyoom bahbeak.. oltaha min ghier kalam

Assala Nasri lama gate 3inak fi 3ini by syria70

* dino pukes in her mouth 

The " FANAS" driver.. makes up random stories about himself that he is driving a cab for fun and that he is actually very rich and just filling in for his cousin. Then he would say that nancy ajram was in his cab.. tayeb... LIESH nancy bedha takhod taxi fe amman.. MAJNOONEH HEEYE?

The religious driver.. plays dars deen or quran throughout the ride.. tilts front mirror so you dont show in the back.. I usually hope to get one of those cab rides.. kolo wala asala song ya333... * twitches at memory

but  you know what i cringe at the sight of.. is that long.. m3affin.. ya3oo.. pinky udfar.. that many cab drivers love to ytawloo... and they started using it to poke at thier teeth.. * twitches

* side note i could not find an image of a jordan dude taxi driver with udfar taweel so i had to add the head piece here to this guy.. not sure howe meen aslan lol

If you are in amman you must take a walk on RAINBOW street.. it is the ultimate place to go.. i suggest you go hungry and pass by 

WAZZUP DOG for the yummiest hotdog fil dinya.. ( this time ididnt go so lisa ba7lam feha)

 my husband calls hotdogs mystery meat... hada AGWAnoo3 mystery.. and btakli wa betHAstery

         

then for dessert.. LAZIM 

GERARD.. if i dont have GERARD icecream.. il re7le ma bten7asab 3alay.. i highly recommend the NUTELLA & the LAZY CAKE flavor... YA WARADEEE 

* please note i tend to use many phrases like the above after my jordan visit no matter how short the visit is... somehow it refreshes my GUrduni side.. and i will say things like.. as my friend told me after visiting jordan no words will do jordan justice.. you HAVE TO speak bel GGAA and GURDUNI so that you deliver the intense GEMOTIONS!

"Hassa3, Gazaz, maima3a, dandara, hath ho.. hathak.. hathol.. very feminine... mashala 3alay

ne hoooo.... sooo i  was saying.. after GERARD if you have SPACE you must try... 

MR KREPE... hada il ishi.... mush bas ZAKI.. you choose whaetever chooclate and more than one and you can have it in a KREPE.. * faints *drools..

only in jordan will you come across a group of jordanian guys singing like this.. i have a friend that likes to sing like this with me.. although we dont say words.. just kharabeesh haha

sadly i did not get a chance to go to CHILI HOUSE Sadeeq al tufooleh.. 

oh and it actually RAINED like 3 times when we were there ... 

but i was invited to the best MANSAF in the world at my uncles house... and i shall dream of it till i taste it again. 

We went to the DEAD SEA.. and it was beautiful..

And the best place for lunch for the kids in AMMAN is Casereccio .. kids can play and make thier own pizza and its loads of fun :)

TAJ MALL was impressive.. fancy wa gameel.. loved the terrace area.. the childrens museum was also very nice for the kids.. 

" hada mush ishi ma7roo2 hada ree7et SAMNEH "

ahaha so cute.. 

another funny thing that happened in jordan that i have already shared on my fb/ instagram and twitter is that my lulu drew me a picture... and clearly she sees me as a smiley Buttox.. she says im a heart- cloud.. at least im a happy butt... 

lulu now starts kissing you from cheek to cheek like alf bose and says " SMALLA 3alieki SMALLA 3alieki ya habeebti".. i call that the TATA effect.. 

our trip ended with a little kid on the bus to the terminal telling his mom " YIl3an 7azi" cause his vacation was too short hahahah 

That my Gamameeer was my trip summary.. it was nice but its good to be back... 

*dina sings jordanian song she made up to Dubai

no matter where i travel.. getting back to Dubai always feels great.. i love u Dubai.. 

*dina dances robotic dance in airport then does moonwalk... bumps into lonlon by mistake oops

so now after this fattening post.. you might have guess that i have returned with a big KARSH and i shall be going to the gym and detoxing soon... so that i can and WILL do it again next time

* dino betabel 3al karoosh

hahahahah 

Poem For Gaza

"i cant look anymore, i cant  watch this anymore" she said 

as she watched the soccer game from the comfort of her bed

"i cant bear this anymore" she said

as she held on to her baby's dead body, with missing limbs and bleeding head

My heart is heavy with sadness anger and helplessness

We are all selfish and only care about our own well being

When we stop looking the other way and start SEEING!

that we should help each other and its supposed to be in our nature as a HUMAN BEING! 

Hands held tightly on our mouth afraid to speak the truth

You might upset someone and might be punched or loose a tooth

Fear of consequences of what we say or do has crippled us to the point of shame

Corruption everywhere and people ruining Islams NAME!

Israels claims this war is a war of  "self defense"

Its not a WAR its a massacre of INNOCENCE

All the targets are civilians , families,woman children in their homes,

All day they hear the f16 plane as it rains its bombs & roams 

How would you feel if you had no where to hide?

How would you feel if your whole family died?

How would you feel if no country was on your side

If there was no where to run and Israels raining bombs you cant abide

Don't you know that today its Us today and tomorrow it could be YOU

Would you want the world to react the way you DO? 

We will be asked about this on judgement day.

Did we do all what we could to help? What will we say???

I call for anyone who still has a conscious and feelings!

A call for Humanity!!Or was it also martyred in the bombings?

Please Lets help the helpless people of Gaza in their Strife

Maybe our words of truth and prayers can save a life!

We live in a world where your life is worth what passport you hold

Unfortunate is your fate if you are a Palestinian, Syrian. Iraqi, or simply ARAB so let the truth be told

No rights No humanity, our lives go cheap.

Animals have seen more mercy & that hurts so deep.

Death toll is going up right now as i type this right now

Civilians homes are being demolished with one huge POWW!

Sometimes they are msgd " you have 58 seconds to evacuate"

With no electricity you are very likely not to see your way to the gate

Hospitals, schools, homes, ambulances, handicapped civilians being massacred

Israel using bombs that are banned by international law on civilians! its this ABSURD!?

Defenseless Gaza is under attack and with borders closed from both sides its a PRISON HELL

no food no water no aid coming in.. Terror and Death has become a familiar Smell

No matter who supports Israel and no matter how high tech weapons you own

Gaza will defeat you with nothing but handmade weapons and stone

You are cowards and you will always hide behind your tanks and weapons

People of Gaza have the support of Allah and will defeat you no matter what happens

People of Gaza are brave and are not afraid to die for their Palestinian Nation 

Know that one day Allah will answer our prayers and He will end this Inhumane Occupation

Death is something they have become way too familiar with so they are not afraid to say

"What is one death compared to the many deaths We die every single day!!"

Dear People of  Gaza i want you to know you are in our  thoughts hearts and our prayers everyday

We feel your pain and will do all we ache with you and i wish things were not this way

God will ask us about you on judgement day..

On that day what will we say???

It is our duty to stand by our brothers and sisters and families in Gaza in NEED

We should do what we can even if its just spreading the FACTS for the world to READ!

I have hope and faith that Allah will answer our prayers in this holy month of Ramadan

Allah protect you.. stay strong because God has a bigger plan for you and it will end in your victory inshala!!

If Israel thinks that they can get rid of Gaza let them think again

Gaza will NEVER Die.. WE are ALL GAZA

Israel will pay for  Every DEATH  Every Massacre Every Child 

Every Tear Every child you have orphaned

Every heart you broke, Every home you demolished.

Hadith which Muslim narrated about Abi Said Al-Khudari that the Prophet (SAW) said;

Whoever of you has seen a Munkar let him change it with his hand, if he can not then by his tongue, and if he can not then by his heart and this is the weakest Iman’.And another version says that; ‘there is not after that an atom of Imaan;’

يمهل و لا يهمل

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

Gaza... Please Forgive us for not being able to do more than this.. 

LonLons Birthday

It has been a very busy month! Lonlons birthday was lovely and i think the kids had a good time.  The thing is with birthdays they are a lot like weddings. There is always someone who you didnt invite that is pissed that you didnt invite them.They are not really just about the birthday girl who wasnt really sure she was the birthday girl at one point. Its about sharing your happiness. Its about making others happy because you are happy on this day. Its seeing kids dance and enjoy going back home with favors. Watching them Bang Away at  the Pinata that didnt tear open till i tore it open like the HULK! Then seeing them attacking the candy on the ground. It was a lot of work but seeing all those kids happy made it worth it :)

 You will never be able to please anyone and well something always does not go as planned but in the end it is just a birthday and if it was for me i would invite everyone i know but it was not possible which is why i had a small DIY party :) Here are the pics i promised to share with the little party details for inspiration.

Under the Sea Theme.

Welcome Frame :)

Customized Clay Giveaways

Customized Chocolate & Hershey Kisses

 

Customize Chocolate Lollypops

Sea Animal Theme Bubbles

 Crab Shaped Plates

 

Fish Theme Marshamallows dipped in White Chocolate

 

 Customized Favor Beach Set!

 

Fishing Game :)

 

 Lots of Prizes, Coloring Corner & more Games

 I had a Shark boxing corner as well :) which i forgot to take photos of

And a little Mermaid Lonlon ofcourse Awwww

A lot of my friends helped me and without my friends and lovely neighbors help i think this bday would not have been such a success :)

Oh i also had a huge surprise myself on my BIRTHDAY ! which was 2 days ago :)

Im 32

*CROWD GASPS

*dino nods slowly with eyes closed

My cute neighbors came over with a surprise bday cake and i was all dressed up ready to go out on a bday DATE. which was all part of the surprise..

First time anyone ever surprises me on my bday..

i feel so loved.. and happy.. al hamdulilah

Family,Friends, Nutella ∧ lots of laughs that was the best birthday ever...

I am now taking orders for customized birthday themes and you can check out the fb page 

LITTLE MUNCH

We offer a variety of desserts, Customized chocolates, favors,  water bottles, Pushpops ,  candy bags Lollypops & can design any party theme of choice :)