D@Ddy is $ick

i guess im still in jordan... dad had a serious operation in his neck.. somethin to do with "discs' and nerves... he is much better now but seeing him soo weak and helpless made me realize he is no longer young :(-- its soo scary to see your dad like that.. ESPECIALLY my DAD... he was always the symbol of strength in the house... we respect him and well i have to say fear him to a certain point.. not fear as in a horror movie.. lol well ok only when i did somethin wrong.. but anyway.... it was emotionally draining to see him in bed.. unable to get on his feet or even eat without someones help...

i felt horrible and the sadest part is its soo hard for me to just say what i feel to him! i want to tell him im here.. that i love him.. that its ok to need someone every oncne in a while... all that comes out is " BABA BiDAK TAKul" :S " Dad wanna eat?"

well i feel he expressses he loves us and cares for us when he buys us loads of chocolates and biscuits and gives us money.. i guess im not that different afterall :S i have no problem expressing my feelings to anyone.. but to my dad its like there is a steel wall i cant break through!! i sit there planning if i want to give him a kiss on a cheek!! hehe sad but true..

he is better now hamdulilah... but its an experience i dont ever want to experience again... when he is sick i feel we all are... you don't appreciate what you have till you lose it.. and well i felt how much i take my dad for granted... and im glad i realized this without losing him..

please pray that he will get well .... next blog will be more cheerful i promise :)