Monday, September 27, 2010

i am a mazar

wow.. its been a year an half of already.i still remember running out of the bathroom with the pregnancy test shocked to see the 2 LINES! i ran to to my dads nurses and said "IS THAT TWO LINES" they were like " YES YES start jumping with pilipeeno joy! i remember the first time that i realized that the big belly/karsh was actually not a happy meal that moves but an actual human being and then the freaking out started of realizing that I WILL BE A MOM! thinking that yes i love kids but that i never was left with a kid alone. let alone a newborn. a little tiny helpless fragile baby! ofcourse then the real freaking out began when my waterbroke as i was on facbeook. i actually UPDATEd my states. "my water broke" lol

Labor pain people. *twitches* is NOT at all as described by anyone above the age of 40. those people are bionic. all my aunts told me contractions are like period pain. one of them said she was delivering and did not feel IT!? that she went to a doctors CHECK UP and he said.. " 3am btuwledi? hay ras il walad" (ur delivering i can see ur sons head) LOL for a long time after this stor i was worried i would be in a mall and i would not notice that im delivering! DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE WOMAN! when you are in LABOR you will KNOW! when you DELIVER u WILL KNOW!

So yes days pass by so fast. and things get easier.. cant say easy. but easier. i mean at the hospital i had a nervous breakdown. all my hormones all over the place. feeling that i will never be able to be a good mother. i mean even breastfeeding had techniques :S i felt like there was a test i had to pass before i went home with little lulu. i mean even driving a car needs a license. dont we need a licence to be mothers?! so well then motherhood began for me. and its not what i imagined. its full of surprises and adventures. i forgot how it feels like to have time for myself. i forgot what it felt like to sleep as much i wanted. to go to the movies. to take a long bath or shower. wait to take a shower :P hehe just kidding i do manage to do that now :S

some days you get so tired.. u just feel omg.. im going to collapse... a mothers job never ends. morning u wake up. change diaper.. make milk.. trip on toys.. pick up toys.. notice spilt milk in kitchen.. clean kitchen.. lulu wants breakfast. wont eat.. dance for lulu to eat.. still wont eat.. eat lulus food.. make another option.. put laundry in washing machine. take out laundr from dryer. cheerios all over carpet.. thank u lulu... vaccume cheerios. time for nap.. will not nap unless u have ur feet in my face? ok sure.. do u have to pinch me soo hard.. okay.. anything just PLEASE sleep.. oh my... did i fall asleep too! there goes my hour to do anything i wanted to do.. lunch time.. min shaan ALLAH ya LULU EAT something.. " coooookiee cookiee .. thocotata"

" no mama no chotata. no cookiee.. koli real food"

yes i am to blame for the chocoholicness

but then again... lulu eating tabeekh ...not happening.

"BAyneee" "ddooowaaa" (barney &dora) thoose my dears are ur best friend after motherhood. because if u need a few minutes for urslef cartoons like this are what will keep ur baby busy. and beleive it or not when i saw barney in the mall i myself was o excited! its like seeing a famous actor! i sing along all the kids songs on tv. even when she sleeps the tv is always on the kids channel. but i admit that at time i just cant hear anymore barney.. his voice gets on my nerves.. his laugh.. i feel like i want to choke his purple neck.. oh did i say that out loud.. :s

oo oo.. i forgot to cook.. runs to kitchen. trying cooks something quickly.. spills some rice on the floor.. lulu comes starts picking on rice and playing with garbage.. " lulu NO NO" what is that in ur hand? "walek min wayn jibtteeeee" usually its something she should not be munching on. dinner is ready.. kitchen is a mess.. lulu made a poopie.. time for diaper change. dont even remind me of potty training that is something i am delaying.. along with the pacifier tawdee3!

oh what time is it 8 pm? lulu lets take a bath now. thank u for the tara6eeesh.. runs after naked lulu in the house waving diaper.. yala mama yyallaaa... finally caught lulu. pjs on after running after her again.

bedtime.. yes time for meeee... yaala lulu lets sleep! do u have to use my arm as ur pillow? okay anything to make u sleep.. finally lulu is asleep... but wait im sleepy too.. no me time... inshala 2moro i wont be this tired... *faints

ok yes motherhood is tiring and it a lot of work. but in the end of the day. i would do it all over again becasue there are moments that are so precious and wonderful that make all the pain and trouble go away. well not all but at least it makes it better. like seeing how much ur baby loves u. gives u random kisses and hugs. all the cute things kids do. awww... there is soo much love...

i must admit that even when lulu is naughty she is too cute.. and believe it or not now when i see tiny babies i get the baby fever again.. i miss holding a tiny baby. hehe but wait dont start any rumors.. when i am ready.. not just yet... u know

but how how how do people have more than 1 kid and have a life?

a maid.. a nanny.. i guess... that is the plan.. the dream

*dino has vision of herslef skipping in garden holding hand with maid :P