Wednesday, May 17, 2017
I lie awake in bed
A million thoughts running in my head
My face is lit up by my phone screen
Then I Remember " I need to buy sunscreen"
I am sleepy tired and know I should sleep
Tomorrow when the alarm rings I shall weep
But for now I can't seem to put my phone down
Let me check instagram and snapchat to see who is in town
I know I'm addicted and I need to stop this habit
The moment I put my phone down I find an excuse to GRAB it
How did we live our lives without social media
When we needed to search for something did we pick up the encyclopedia?
I worry about our kids and what they are exposed to
And how hard it is to control what they see and what they do
For now I'll try to get some sleep
Let me start counting my Sheep
Friday, May 12, 2017
The older you get the less tolerance for fakeness and fake people and negative people and you slowly start to realize who are really your friends and who are the people who just remember you when they need something. You will be shocked to how many people live their life like its a Kuwait musalsal or hindi Film.
Somehow a whatsapp message turns into a family feud! Some people are deeply offended by things that you didnt even notice or do consciously and its those people you need to limit your interactions with. The more you spend with them the more they will twist your actions and words and spread rumors and believe me if im looking for drama i will just watch my Turkish musasal.
I am like a sponge .. ana SBonJiBob... if the people around me are dramatic i feel tension and drama. If the people around me are negative and depressing i tend to feel depressed and feel the need to solve their problems. Then one day you wake up and realize those people who depressed you with their problems are not as depressed about thier problems as you are. You realize people will only share the negative things and hide the good things that happen to them in fear of " 7asad".
You will one day wake up and realize how short life is and if you waste it trying to please people who will never ever be pleased, or trying to fit in the wrong group of people you will only feel worse and you will never ever please them.
Think about yourself and what you want. Do not get out of your way to see those who will pull you down and hurt you. Be around those who lift you up and care for you because life is short and...
AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FOR DAT
i will leave you with the SBONJIBOB Asfar Kamooni
PE Bostife BeoBleZ
Wednesday, May 03, 2017
So.. i am sick of those moms who talk about parenting like its so easy like oh yes sure why don't i get another 5 more kids cause its so freaking EASY! I see those vidoes of moms like 2 -3 weeks after delivering their baby using their baby as a dumbell as they do thier daily exercises at home showing off their flat tummies like its so easy.. Good for you..
* cries into pillow
* eats chocolata
* pokes belly... jiggles like jelly... what the helly....
i remember at one point i was motivated and picked up laila and started doing some arm exercises while i lyed down on my back... all i can say is that i might have moved her faster than i should and i ended up full of MILK-SHAKE . .get it.. milk shake .. from shaking her .. ermm ok simji simji haha
Someone once told me if you get two you can get 10 ! ermm if i have one more child i think i will be moving in a mental hospital..
IT'S NOT easy ! i spend most of the day screaming and juggling a million things and trying to do the things that will make my kids the best versions of themselves. So they don't grow up angry at me for not letting them do the things they love or blaming me for all their psychological problems. Sadly i think no matter what we do we will make mistakes and no one is perfect i just pray the damage is not serious and that my relationship with my kids stays strong even when they are older.
I look at my sister now with her newborn baby freaking out at her every spit up and her lack of sleep and she just asked me with her puffy eyes" HOW DID YOU DO THIS TWICE???? "
Truth is it does get easier with the second baby cause then you stop freaking out about every Fart but still easier doesn't mean easy.. you just stop sterilizing everything. you stop crying every time they cry cause you realize they cry all the time.
You long for a moment of peace and quiet and when they are home and it gets quiet .. you freak out because you know.. they are up to something
And every age age has its challenges. Today i ate a cadboury chocolate bar that i think was almost as long as my arm.. i call it chocolate therapy... i have also started boxing which is helping me let out the inner stress.. i think all moms need to find a getaway.. whether its hiding in the bathroom with a chocolate bar.. whether its meeting your friends for coffee or knitting or baking or exercising.. watch a movie or musalsal. anything you enjoy doing to get you out of the daily cycle of JNAAN... because if you do not get a break.. and you do not let it out somehow. The result will be... UGLY..
Sometimes when i yell at my kids they crack up at me laughing. and at this point im really angry and really having a fit and they are seriously laughing so so hard! 😑 maybe my voice shrieks..
Anyhow.. Parenting is not easy.. but its worth it.. and no matter how tired and exhausted or angry you are you look at your kids ( when they have calmed down akeed) and they do something adorable like draw you a card and even though they drew you in a shape of a Butt you still think its the most beautiful drawing ever... ( i am the smiling butt cloud next to laila in this drawing) ..
This is how i would look like if i had more children..
P.S. All you people who see me and decide to make da3wat for me to bear a second child...
ALLah yorzugek fe WALAD.. Kindly desist from making such da3wat.. if you want to to ted3oooli refer to me and i shall email you a list of da3wat :) wa shukran :)
Al Hamdulilah and Allah ye7me awladna kolhom
i have to admit when i stay up late and they are asleep i miss them already.. i just dont miss the yelling and 6owash