Saturday, May 23, 2015

20 ways to know you are an OFFICIAL KHALTO!



i'm sitting here wide awake at 3 am. thinking so many thoughts, worrying about things before they happen. Regretting, forgetting and analyzing my life. I think of how old my kids are now and it passed by so quickly. And well Laila is just 6 and graduating for KG2  and i know in a blink of an eye ill be sitting there in her high school and college graduation ( inshala).

Suddenly im that annoying Auntee that keeps telling her friends kids " ya habibi i know you since you were this big * makes a baby hand gesture that from the look of that teenage boys face is not a compliment at all. It suddenly hit me.. IM A KHALTO NOW! OFFICIAL!

Incase if you were wondering if you were one already here is a LIST i made for you!

You know you are getting OLD & are an Official Auntee KHALTO

1.  When you visit your friends whom you havent seen in a long time you OVERREACT when their kids come in the room. See in your head he is still a TODDLER.. suddenly a MAN enters the room and you actually NEED TO WEAR YOUR HIJAB.. GASP.. ofcourse you say.. something like



LA LA LA LA hada ibnek.. MA BASADE2.. akher mara shufto kaan lisa berda3.. * awkward silence
* oh that is your son last time i saw him he was still breastfeeding. & You start sharing embarrassing stories like " last time you came over your mom was potty training you pooped all over my carpet.

2. You find that most of your conversations suddenly take a turn and you end up talking about
RECIPES . "Ah wallah hayk bta3maleeha.. la2 ana ba7ot shway zebdeh ba3dayn bakhaleeha ten2a3 shway"..




3. When you sit down or get up you make those little moaning sound.. Ehh ... or say something like
" Ya Allah.. Yama ya habeebti.. heeeeh " or ask the nearest child or person to help you get up.


4. When someone gives you a recipe and says " Rashet male7" a hint of salt or shwayet baharat.. you actually know what those baharat ARE and how much you need to put in the Tabkha
 

5. You now have official sub7eyat with other khaltos many who are still are unaware of the STAGE of khalto they have become.

6. You probably by now suffer from a Back Disc,  or neck disc or just back pain or joint pain or have had your gallbladder removed. or like me All of the above..

7. You just want to wear that SAME BIJAMA that you have had for a billion years cause nothing is just as comfy. Inspite of the fact that you have many other PJS but none are as comfy as this one and no one can really see that hole anyway.


8. You can't walk in heels and when you do decide to walk in heels you carry a little bag with a SHIBSHIB with you & Clarks & hush puppies and Berkinstock are your fav shoe shops.





9. Your Digestive system starts failing you are your body reacts to the things you eat and you just cant eat the things you used to. And before going anywhere first you make sure there is a BATHROOM there.



10. When you hang up the phone you now do the " Ahlayn Ahlayn.. Allah ma3ek.. Ah ah " byebyebyebye ahlayn ahlayn bye bye



11. When you have visitors over you always stand at the door before they leave and talk for like 30 mins

13. When your kids are naughty and you have visitors over you give them "THE LOOK" that you used to get growing up that meant " ra7 afarjeeki bas yraw7o"


14. You can no longer stay out very late and want to be home early & are exhausted by the end of the day.


15. You talk about prices and " Ghala il Dinya wa il 3eeshe" a lot & ask about schools.

16. Getting off the couch is not as easy as sitting on it.

17. When that old lady in the Zumba Class keeps giving you the " i know how you feel" look.



18. You actually start realizing there is a different taste to " mlookhye, jibne and Zaatar  from Amman or palestine" & will most likely have some in your bag if you travel.





19. You say things like " YA ma7la il hawayat" & constantly compliment people in a formal manner.
 

20. You make 'du3a" for everyone when they do something nice for you ' Allah yerda 3alieki" & you start using those Amthaal like ( feel free to use these phrases and evolve into a khalto instantly:

il ALEB GHALEB
The Inside Is The Winner)(You Are More Beautiful Than Your Dress)

"Ya Raytak Khreet Wa Ma Hkeet"
(i wish you had pooped instead of SPOKEN) ( havent used this one yet but its very expressive) haha

Bil Wijj Mmrayeh Wa Bil Afa Surmayeh
( In Your Face He Is A Mirror And Behind You He Is A Slipper)



A3mali Mnih Wa Kib Bil Bahr
( Do Good and Throw It In the Sea)


 Al Urd Bi A3yn Immo Ghazal
( The Monkey in His Mothers Eye Is a Ghazelle)


*i can go on FOREVER. 

Anyway.. hope this has helped some of you learn that they are also now KHALTOS LIKE ME

WELTCHOME TO THE CLUB * hands over knitting kit and glasses as prize and REMEMBER THIS :







Saturday, May 09, 2015

I Need to CHILL!

Wow.. its been so long since i have blogged i feel i forgot how to ! But i feel im at this point in my life where i have a lot of thoughts and feelings and well i feel hardly take any pauses. Im always on the run doing a million things & multitasking. I feel like i take on more than i can handle & at the end of each day i still have
n't crossed out my "to-do" list and im exhausted and i realize there was alot of things i could have easily just NOT added to my crazy endless list.

So today i decided to STOP doing all the things i need to do & actually take a minute to BLOG and reflect on my life and everything. I'm the type of person who is very curious and observe the people around me and try to read thier body language and analyze them. I may come across as a psycho that just stares at other people. Anyhow.. so i was at PF Changs today and i noticed a western lady with her two girls. They had ordered a somewhat healthier choice i believe with some sort of green leaves or brussel sprouts.. ( just like i do) *laughs sarcastically .. and they were eating and laughing and talking.. and her two girls were playing wither their food then decided to braid their moms hair.. thier hands were probably oily but she sat there smiling &; let them both just pretty much oil her hair in the middle of the restaurant and she was saying positive things.. like " wow look at that nice braid"

 And i imagined if one of my girls tried to braid my hair with her oily hands.. would i have done the same thing ? i think i probably would have just given her the " you better not do that " look. or threatened to take away one of her "shopkins"!

I started to realize how many times we tend to overreact to certain things. And it me think of the reason WHY we do that. I believe it is our fear of what "Others" will think of us. Its that need to fall into a certain Norm, that desperate need to be seen in a certain way. That constant fear of being judged by the way your children act.

Im not saying don't set any rules and let your kids play with a soiled poopie diaper. Im just saying there are certain times we tend to overreact. We draw lines and upset ourselves and our kids and in reality some things are not a big deal.

They got thier clothes dirty even though you warned them a 1000 times.. what did you expect really when you gave your 3 and 6 yr old an ice cream :S 

They can sometimes wear clothes that don't match cause they feel like it. it will make them learn how to be decision makers and feel more independent.

Its okay if they don't finish eating thier food or not eat eventually they will get hungry and eat so no need to give the " IF you dont eat your food it will run after you on judgement day" *twitches at thought of drowning in giant mlookheya bowl



They scribbled on the walls again.. and you are having a FIT.. and here i dont mean FIt as in Fitness *jiggles belly.. It can be painted.. and even if it isnt .. why is it such a big deal? they are kids. we keep limiting them to drawing on paper and limiting their creativity. Let them scribble maybe we should experiment on our walls as well. Let the world be our CANVAS! :P who said we should only draw on PAPER? the possibilities are endless!





There are so many times i let my emotions get the best of me. The stress & exhaustion don't help me to react like a calm person would or should act. I feel its in my nature to be just LOUD and Jumpy like im always waiting for something BAD to happen. So many times i hear my kids screaming in the room and i freak out only to find out they are just laughing and playing.

One time after i dropped off laila to school i noticed she had forgetten her water bottle. That morning she decided to take it out of the bag & i told her dont forget it like 100 times. So when i got to the school and realized it wasn't there i got upset with her and told her "why didnt you put it back didnt i tell you to!" she said she did and i was like NO you didnt . i overreacted as usual. And come to think of it now i think mainly i didnt want to be seen as that "careless" mom who forgets to pack her childs water bottle. i dont know what iwas thinking and after getting all upset and upsetting my little lulu.. i got back in the car and it was right there next to me.. It fell out of her bag when i put in the car. She had packed it in her bag and truth is even if she didnt. it shouldnt have UPSET ME the way it did.. my heart sank and i felt horrible.. and i got this gut-wrenching feeling of guilt of what a horrible mom i was. She told me many times she did and i didnt even believe her.. because she has a habit of forgetting things. ( like me) i'm far worse though.. she calls me Mrs Forgetful.. I sometimes feel i am too hard on Laila especially because i feel she is a part of me& she is like me in so many ways that i worry about her so much. I dont want her to experience some things i went through. I often find myself overreacting to something she did and after she sleeps this feeling is back again. i feel this is not the first time i feel this incredibly heavy weight of guilt on my chest & i need to change this before i cause my kids major psychological problems cause the root of all psychological problems are the PARENTS!! ( which reminds me of the tv show "BATES MOTEL" which im watching now which is actually a prequel of the movie "PSYCHO".. who is a psycho because of his mom somehow ya far7eti

I told myself i don't ever want to feel this guilty again and i dont ever ever want to put my kids in this situation. I feel i see myself in her and somehow i dont want her to turn into me So from now i on whenever something happens that upsets me, i ask myself why am i upset? Do I need to be this upset of this ? Is it worth it? Am i overreacting?

I don't want to shout at them. I love them so much. That moment you see fear in your kids eyes from you is one of the worst moments ever. You will feel like a monster.  Its not easy to control your frustration and i'm still failing many times, but at least now i'm trying my best and working really hard to not fail my kids as a mom.

will leave you with a cute vidoe of what happened when i left lina in the back seat with her new frozen makeup set which i thought was still closed till i parked and looked back :S i am glad this time i laughed and didnt freak out.. but she is too cute ! ahahahaha :P


video






Thursday, January 15, 2015

Why the world wants to believe All Muslims Are Terrorists






I'm not one to talk about politics. I barely watch the news and well this time the news is again somehow about me.Muslims all around the world.. so i feel its my duty to speak up.Yet another terrorist group has gone and committed a crime in Islams name which ofcourse regular ordinary Muslims like me will pay the price for in thier everyday life. 

Why do i feel i need to defend myself when i have done nothing wrong? Why do i feel by just walking in a room when i was in the US i have to urge to say 
" relax i'm one of the good ones". 

I feel my religion has been hijacked by a bunch of mentally disturbed inhuman group of people who believe that they can interpret the words of God in anyway they like to justify their undeniably hideous acts! 

Truth is there are many bad muslims and many good muslims too .. The bad muslims that are so bad to the point that by doing those things that contradict ISLAM they cant be even called Muslims. 

Unfortunately its those bad muslims that make the headlines. 

The many Muslim scientists, Surgeons, Police Officers etc... that have lived their whole lives serving in countries like the US, FRANCE & all around the world are examples of people who will pay the price for actions they themselves condemn.

Imagine you are teacher in a classroom. A man comes in and shoots all the kids you have been teaching for so many years. Kids you have grown so close to that you feel have become your family.You stand there distraught with nothing but pain in your heart. Next thing you know it turns out he is Muslim and people are pointing their fingers at YOU. What hurts isn't just the loss of those innocent kids, its the fact that all his years of dedication and hard work mean nothing. To them he is a terrorist just like all Muslims, and sadly he thought he was one of them.

The reason the world would love to believe that all Muslims are terrorists is that they will feel better believing that. That all the evil and terrorism in the world are confined to one group of people. People who you can spot easily by their long beards or scarfs on their head. They would sleep at night better knowing that they know who the terrorists are. Denying the fact that a terrorist can be of any religion, any nationality. A terrorist has no specific race or religion. A terrorist could have your same nationality and religion and maybe even the same family name and still have nothing to do with you. 

I call for the world to stop being ignorant to stop pointing fingers at the innocent people who want nothing but peace. I call for the world to educate themselves about ISLAM and the true meaning of ISLAM and what it calls for before judging a religion because many have wronged it by their ignorance.

Unfortunately more and more often, Islam has been associated with terrorism and violence due to the actions of a few extreme individuals who’ve taken it upon themselves to do the most heinous crimes in the name of Islam. 

How would you feel if someone made fun of your mom? Drew Cartoons of her that were insulting? 

I think you would be pretty offended and upset. Muslims cherish the prophet ( pbuh) more than their mothers & fathers and daughters and their self and loving the prophet
 ( pbuh) is part of the Muslim faith. These cartoons are hurtful insulting yes, but as you can see those who thought by killing as an answer have not only brought shame to ISLAMS name but have caused them to not only print more insulting cartoons in numbers they have never done before. 

May Muslims learn that hate and anger should not fill your heart. Get to know your religion, get to know the prophet (pbuh) and react the way he would have reacted.

Did you know the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) had a Jewish&neighbor;and this person used to every morning throw his garbage at the door step of the Prophet's home. The Prophet would then pick it up and throw it in the disposal area along with his personal trash. One morning the Prophet didn't see any garbage on his door step and he didn't really care much about it. The next morning same thing and so on, until a week passed by without any garbage being put on the Prophet's door step. So our Prophet went to that Jewish neighbor and paid him a visit to check on him. The Jewish neighbor was sick and he was in bed. Our Prophet then started taking care of his Jewish neighbor and the Jewish very soon embraced Islam because of our beloved Prophet's high morals. Garbage on his door didnt get him angry you think a few scribbles on a paper would make him react the
 way they did?

 "But our reaction must be a reflection of the teachings of the gentle and merciful character of the Prophet (peace be upon him).  Enduring patience, tolerance, gentleness and mercy as was the character of our beloved Prophet (peace and Blessings be upon him) is the best and immediate way to respond. With dignified nobility we must be restrained, as the Qur'an says “And when the ignorant speak to them, they say words of Peace.”



Monday, November 24, 2014

its the little things..

O


I am someone who reads a lot into things. I tend to overanalyze things that happen sometimes its good but other times its like.. over the top and excruciatingly annoying to those around me who just don't OVERTHINK things.. 

At the end of each night.. after kids finally in bed and i can actually hear my thoughts.. and the many voices in my head.. several with different accents.. i replay all my day and the events that happened and then one of the voices.. the rather mean one.. starts making me feel bad about things i did like. yelling at laila for not going to bed.. or replaying a conversation i had with my friends and suddenly the another voice comes and thinks of what the girl said to me and says things like.. 

"OMG what did she mean by that sentence? Why didn't I say anything back? "

 " You have to stop having Nutella for breakfast "

" Did you call * long list of names rolls in head..  la33333"

" YOU NEED TO WORK OUT MORE  ya um KARSHE!

 " Yeeee Nseeeti ta3mali .. ( fill in the blank.. cause everyday i forget something)"

so this goes on for about a few minutes before i faint from exhaustion.. and i have to say overanalyzing is stressful and unhealthy especially when you will never know if you are right most of the time..   
But what i really think is a healthy thing to is to contemplate on Gods plan for us in life.. even through the little things in life.. those little details we sometimes don't notice but when you think of them you realize they are signs from God that HE is there and that nothing is a coincidence.. nothing is chance.. Its all part of a plan..what happened with me.. Is I had to get groceries and that is something I must do usually to the point it feels like I am addicted. I feel if I'm not there they will take attendance and give me a tardy letter.. Anyhooo.. I was in a rush and when i reached i realized i had no coins.. and i really needed the trolley.. and well in that same second I arrived a chinese guy was taking his stuff out of his trolley and left it right infront of me.. Perfect timing..

its like time you didnt plan on going somewhere and then end up going and meet someone there by coincidence who gets you a job

Maybe that means nothing to you.. but to me it means that every second of my day was part of a plan to reach this trolley in that second... it means God knows what i need before i need it.. God will never let us down and if we look at those little signs everyday you will feel a comforting feeling and sometimes even goosebumps from those little things that actually have much bigger meaning :) 

Al Hamdulilah.. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Think BOSITIVE



Think Positive.. or BOSITIVE! that is something i keep trying to do or tell myself to do.. Once upon a time i used to be a very optimistic person.. very trusting.. 

* visual of dina skipping around in a garden of flowers with two braids bouncy in the air and birds & butterflies flying everywhere

singing snow white songs

Well that was a long time ago.. i dont know if it happened over night or was it years and years of continuous disappointments and shik shak shocks...* does al ra3sha to shik shak shok song in her head

DINA FOCUS FOCUS

ok i was saying.. so somehow.. i find myself doubting people now.. and their sincerity and even if they are doing something GOOD i'm thinking... Why is she doing this? WEISH bedha? 

i find myself thinking of the worst possible scenarios about things that will happen or COULD happen and i get depressed at that possibility..

or even worse i sit with myself and analyze a certain situation to the point where ive talked to myself about it for so long in my head that i IT MUST BE TRUE??

One day i said to myself i will listen to myself.. and notice how many things i complain about daily and if these things are actually things that are as big a DEAL that i make them to be... are these things in my head or are they really FACTS?

ok truth is a lot of KAKA happens in life.. and kaka happens.. and what i'm trying to say is.. i believe that even in the worst possible scenarios in life.. when u fall in deep Buraaz.. even then you can still have positive thoughts.. think to yourself at least you are WARM?? ya333


i believe if we look hard enough in any NEGATIVE situation we can always see something positive..

Yesterday my daughter spilled her milkshake all over the floor..
 i was like Laaaaaaa2aaaa * slow motion 

sees milk splash everywhere as she jumps in the air trying to stop it..

i had just cleaned! and now im maidless i have so much on my plate... 
and i dont mean food plate. i mean sa7n al 7ayat..
MATA-FOOR  fil 3anglish ( metaphor) ya3ni

soo... as i was cleaning.. i moved the washing machine and found a spoon with "frozen" theme that i have been looking for for a long time... if she didnt spill the milk i wouldn't have found it. 

thats just one ex.. but positive thoughts is something we can practice on doing and it really helps.. and it has helped me a lot... and maybe one day i will wake up without these negative thoughts.. 


My cup is HALF FULL.. you know what some people don't even have cups or water! 
SO hamdulilah 3ala kol ishi

believing everything is part of Gods plan for us & that the good and the bad all happen for a reason everything happens for a purpose and trussing in Gods will even when you have no idea what purpose is yet is what makes things easier..


:)


Monday, October 13, 2014

My Short Trip to AMMAN (summary)




Amman.. ya 3amman... i have to say i was impressed by the new Airport.. its cleaner.. and bigger.. and more people smile.. yet there will always be those who are GARFANEEN and give you the " gul3a6 ygal3tek" look as they stamp your passport...

if you are in amman..you have to start your day with.. * drum rolll

ABU JBARAH.. the best humus and fool and falafel .. yummmm



Being in Amman always gives me schizophrenic feelings. It feels like home.. i love the weather i love the familiarity of it all.. the familiar sound of the GHAZ icecream truck music as it makes its rounds around the block.. the familiar cool breeze of air touches my face &  didn't realize how much i've missed that feeling of FRESH COOL AIR..yet fe kteer ashya2 betgheez like how people DRIVE.. how people dont follow rules and are pissed off all the time... 

 * side note.. laqad 7ajabt il bint fil soora .. zahrat al khaleej STYLE.. haha 



Speaking of FRESH AIR... one of the things i didn't appreciate in Amman is there is barely any SMOKE-FREE zone.. In one week i feel my lungs have somehow turned into a MATAKEH.. 

I love the familiar sound of khirfan as they pass by and you hear .... haaa3 herra3 tkkk tkkkkk 
as they block the road..


I have to say the TAXI rides are still interesting and every ride you never know what kind of Driver you'll get.. there are several kinds

the " Ana mush nasaab" driver that tells you he will never fool you cause you are not from Amman and as he tells you the story drives the longest routes to your destination.. 


The talkative informative taxi driver that shares all sorts of "Facts" he probably just made up..
"HATH IL DAWA IL MA3i min AMREEKA la kol il amraath ya zalameh agwanou3"

The "Garfan" driver that yells something every once in a while that is probably a masabe.. last one of those i got in said... "SON OF A BISH" when i told him to park close to the door * GULP

The "Cheesy sleezy" driver.. usually has more than one front mirror decorated with Danadeesh and lights.. looks up at you

* dino sees many eyes looking at her nazrat ya33.. suddenly  he plays a song as he smirks and looks at mirrors

Asaala nasri song starts" lama gat 3aynak fe 3ayneee  ibtada baynhom kalam. oltelak milyoom bahbeak.. oltaha min ghier kalam


* dino pukes in her mouth 

The " FANAS" driver.. makes up random stories about himself that he is driving a cab for fun and that he is actually very rich and just filling in for his cousin. Then he would say that nancy ajram was in his cab.. tayeb... LIESH nancy bedha takhod taxi fe amman.. MAJNOONEH HEEYE?

The religious driver.. plays dars deen or quran throughout the ride.. tilts front mirror so you dont show in the back.. I usually hope to get one of those cab rides.. kolo wala asala song ya333... * twitches at memory


but  you know what i cringe at the sight of.. is that long.. m3affin.. ya3oo.. pinky udfar.. that many cab drivers love to ytawloo... and they started using it to poke at thier teeth.. * twitches



* side note i could not find an image of a jordan dude taxi driver with udfar taweel so i had to add the head piece here to this guy.. not sure howe meen aslan lol




If you are in amman you must take a walk on RAINBOW street.. it is the ultimate place to go.. i suggest you go hungry and pass by 




WAZZUP DOG for the yummiest hotdog fil dinya.. ( this time ididnt go so lisa ba7lam feha)
 my husband calls hotdogs mystery meat... hada AGWAnoo3 mystery.. and btakli wa betHAstery
         

then for dessert.. LAZIM 

GERARD.. if i dont have GERARD icecream.. il re7le ma bten7asab 3alay.. i highly recommend the NUTELLA & the LAZY CAKE flavor... YA WARADEEE 



* please note i tend to use many phrases like the above after my jordan visit no matter how short the visit is... somehow it refreshes my GUrduni side.. and i will say things like.. as my friend told me after visiting jordan no words will do jordan justice.. you HAVE TO speak bel GGAA and GURDUNI so that you deliver the intense GEMOTIONS!

"Hassa3, Gazaz, maima3a, dandara, hath ho.. hathak.. hathol.. very feminine... mashala 3alay

ne hoooo.... sooo i  was saying.. after GERARD if you have SPACE you must try... 

MR KREPE... hada il ishi.... mush bas ZAKI.. you choose whaetever chooclate and more than one and you can have it in a KREPE.. * faints *drools..




only in jordan will you come across a group of jordanian guys singing like this.. i have a friend that likes to sing like this with me.. although we dont say words.. just kharabeesh haha


sadly i did not get a chance to go to CHILI HOUSE Sadeeq al tufooleh.. 



oh and it actually RAINED like 3 times when we were there ... 

but i was invited to the best MANSAF in the world at my uncles house... and i shall dream of it till i taste it again. 



We went to the DEAD SEA.. and it was beautiful.. but the funniest moment was when i look down at the beach and this Black man waves at me.. and i was like ANO HATH??? turns out its was ba3looli Mlaye6 7alo 6eeeneh.. lol 



And the best place for lunch for the kids in AMMAN is Casereccio .. kids can play and make thier own pizza and its loads of fun :)

TAJ MALL was impressive.. fancy wa gameel.. loved the terrace area.. the childrens museum was also very nice for the kids.. 

it was nice to see my family & my niece who is adorable .. she spends so much time with my mom that she sounds like a little 7ajjeh... i was asking mama what the smell was in the kitchen if something was burning. a little voice answered 

" hada mush ishi ma7roo2 hada ree7et SAMNEH "

ahaha so cute.. 


another funny thing that happened in jordan that i have already shared on my fb/ instagram and twitter is that my lulu drew me a picture... and clearly she sees me as a smiley Buttox.. she says im a heart- cloud.. at least im a happy butt... 



lulu now starts kissing you from cheek to cheek like alf bose and says " SMALLA 3alieki SMALLA 3alieki ya habeebti".. i call that the TATA effect.. 

our trip ended with a little kid on the bus to the terminal telling his mom " YIl3an 7azi" cause his vacation was too short hahahah 

That my Gamameeer was my trip summary.. it was nice but its good to be back... 

*dina sings jordanian song she made up to Dubai

no matter where i travel.. getting back to Dubai always feels great.. i love u Dubai.. 

*dina dances robotic dance in airport then does moonwalk... bumps into lonlon by mistake oops


so now after this fattening post.. you might have guess that i have returned with a big KARSH and i shall be going to the gym and detoxing soon... so that i can and WILL do it again next time

* dino betabel 3al karoosh

hahahahah 

i will leave you with a video of cuteness as i tease lina asking her to give me her icecream.. please notice how lulu doesn't even acknowledge my question as she continues eating her ice cream

habeebati.. home wa gerard ofcourse

video











Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Poem For Gaza



"i cant look anymore, i cant  watch this anymore" she said 
as she watched the soccer game from the comfort of her bed
"i cant bear this anymore" she said
as she held on to her baby's dead body, with missing limbs and bleeding head

My heart is heavy with sadness anger and helplessness
We are all selfish and only care about our own well being
When we stop looking the other way and start SEEING!
that we should help each other and its supposed to be in our nature as a HUMAN BEING! 

Hands held tightly on our mouth afraid to speak the truth
You might upset someone and might be punched or loose a tooth
Fear of consequences of what we say or do has crippled us to the point of shame
Corruption everywhere and people ruining Islams NAME!

Israels claims this war is a war of  "self defense"
Its not a WAR its a massacre of INNOCENCE
All the targets are civilians , families,woman children in their homes,
All day they hear the f16 plane as it rains its bombs & roams 

How would you feel if you had no where to hide?
How would you feel if your whole family died?
How would you feel if no country was on your side
If there was no where to run and Israels raining bombs you cant abide

Don't you know that today its Us today and tomorrow it could be YOU
Would you want the world to react the way you DO? 
We will be asked about this on judgement day.
Did we do all what we could to help? What will we say???

I call for anyone who still has a conscious and feelings!
A call for Humanity!!Or was it also martyred in the bombings?
Please Lets help the helpless people of Gaza in their Strife
Maybe our words of truth and prayers can save a life!

We live in a world where your life is worth what passport you hold
Unfortunate is your fate if you are a Palestinian, Syrian. Iraqi, or simply ARAB so let the truth be told
No rights No humanity, our lives go cheap.
Animals have seen more mercy & that hurts so deep.


Death toll is going up right now as i type this right now
Civilians homes are being demolished with one huge POWW!
Sometimes they are msgd " you have 58 seconds to evacuate"
With no electricity you are very likely not to see your way to the gate

Hospitals, schools, homes, ambulances, handicapped civilians being massacred
Israel using bombs that are banned by international law on civilians! its this ABSURD!?
Defenseless Gaza is under attack and with borders closed from both sides its a PRISON HELL
no food no water no aid coming in.. Terror and Death has become a familiar Smell

No matter who supports Israel and no matter how high tech weapons you own
Gaza will defeat you with nothing but handmade weapons and stone
You are cowards and you will always hide behind your tanks and weapons
People of Gaza have the support of Allah and will defeat you no matter what happens

People of Gaza are brave and are not afraid to die for their Palestinian Nation 
Know that one day Allah will answer our prayers and He will end this Inhumane Occupation
Death is something they have become way too familiar with so they are not afraid to say
"What is one death compared to the many deaths We die every single day!!"

Dear People of  Gaza i want you to know you are in our  thoughts hearts and our prayers everyday
We feel your pain and will do all we ache with you and i wish things were not this way
God will ask us about you on judgement day..
On that day what will we say???

It is our duty to stand by our brothers and sisters and families in Gaza in NEED
We should do what we can even if its just spreading the FACTS for the world to READ!
I have hope and faith that Allah will answer our prayers in this holy month of Ramadan
Allah protect you.. stay strong because God has a bigger plan for you and it will end in your victory inshala!!

If Israel thinks that they can get rid of Gaza let them think again
Gaza will NEVER Die.. WE are ALL GAZA
Israel will pay for  Every DEATH  Every Massacre Every Child 
Every Tear Every child you have orphaned
Every heart you broke, Every home you demolished.



Hadith which Muslim narrated about Abi Said Al-Khudari that the Prophet (SAW) said;

Whoever of you has seen a Munkar let him change it with his hand, if he can not then by his tongue, and if he can not then by his heart and this is the weakest Iman’.And another version says that; ‘there is not after that an atom of Imaan;’


يمهل و لا يهمل

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

Gaza... Please Forgive us for not being able to do more than this.. 













Tuesday, July 01, 2014

The Misconception of Jihad







First of all let me start by saying Ramadan Mubarak to all of you and Inshala this Ramadan is filled with blessings for everyone of us. It is our chance to get closer to Allah and to reflect on our life and past year and reassess our life and the choices we make along the way.

I can imagine due to the Media and even our own reactions to the media there is a certain fear that comes to those in the west who are already Anti-Muslim. To them they are thinking "OH NO its the month where the moderate muslims can possibly get more religious and turn into the EXTREMIST Terrorist MUSLIMS!

 When i say our own reaction i'm talking about articles i've read with titles " Not all Muslims are JIHADISTS".. and that was supposed bring comfort to those who are concerned about Muslims and JIHAD. Actually an article like that will do more harm than good. WHY? Because it reinforces the conviction that "mujahedeen' or " jihad" means "terrorism". When in reality yes ALL MUSLIMS are and should be JIHADIST. And being a JIHADIST has nothing to do with terrorism or bombing yourself or others, or killing non -muslim! (side note : suicide and homicide are major sins in islam)


So True meaning of the word Jihad is an Arabic word that literally means to struggle or strive. Jihad is struggling or striving in the way or sake of Allah. Jihad takes a very important status in the fundamentals of Islam and is one of the basic duties for every Muslim.

It comes in many forms

  • Jihad of the heart/soul (jihad bin nafs/qalb)
  • Jihad by the tongue (jihad bil lisan)
  • Jihad by the pen/knowledge (jihad bil qalam/ilm)
  • Jihad by the hand (jihad bil yad)
  • Jihad by the sword (jihad bis saif) 

    Jihad of the Heart which is referred to in Islam as “the greater Jihad” (al-jihad al-akbar).

    It is one’s constant inner struggle of good against evil; refraining oneself from the whispers of Shaitan (Satan). This process involves allowing Islam to transform one’s soul to achieving internal peace; and forgoing the hatred and anger.

    Jihad by the Tongue
    Jihad by the tongue; in Arabic: jihad bil lisan.
    It is defending Islam and spreading Islam by scholarly lectures, speeches
    and debates. It often overlaps with Da’awah (invitation to Islam, or spreading the message of Islam).

    Jihad by the sword

    Jihad by the sword; in Arabic: jihad bis saif. In contrary to Jihad of the
    heart/soul; this form of Jihad is referred as “the lesser jihad” (al-jihad alasghar).
    There are only two situations were Jihad by the sword is allowed to be
    undertaken.

    1) For self-defence. When someone attacks you or when your
    nation has been attacked. Engaging into combat due to self defence. Like any army in the world used weapons and to defend their country.

    2) Fighting against evil and unjust. It is also a sin if a Muslim sees unjust been done, capable of stopping it, yet not doing anything about it. But that does'nt mean go randomly killing innocent people in the name of islam when islam has nothing to do with your crimes.

    Jihad  by the sword is ONLY allowed when a certain condition is met and there are very strict rules about waging Jihad against a community.

    The basic rule about Jihad is that it is only allowed when non-Muslims initiate it. It is NOT to be initiated by the Muslims at all. Muslims are not allowed to raise their swords and start killing every non-Muslim in their community, whether in majority or minority, to force them to accept Islam. God says in the Quran: -

    "There is no compulsion in religion"

    The rules of JIHAD 

    1) They are not allowed to burn down property and houses
    2) Non-combatants, men, women and children may not be killed or attacked deliberately even in battle on a battlefield, and may not be deliberately targeted, nor weapons used which kill indiscriminately3) They have to respect places of worship (churches, monasteries etc.)
    4) They are not supposed to cut down trees or destroy the harvest
    5) They are not supposed to mutilate the bodies of their opponents
    6) When the enemy surrenders and is helpless they have to stop fighting
    7) When war prisoner are taken the treatment for prisoners of war is also clearly stated in the Quran. Prisoners of war under Muslim prisons are to eat, drink and dress the
    same Muslim soldiers eat, drink and dress. And even under the unfortunate event of shortage of food, it is the prisoners who are to eat first before the Muslim soldiers guarding them!

    ms are not extremists or fanatics and have no plans of terrorist attacks and just want to feel NORMAL instead of being constantly seen as terrorist or possible terrorists!
    Those who do not abide by these rules and follow their self-made rules by killing innocent people DO NOT follow Islam. The rules of Islam are what I have mentioned and anyone who disobeys, and does wrong things in the name of Islam, in fact spoils its name and causes other muslims aroudn the world to suffer from their ignorant acts! 

    Islam is a religion of peace. Muslims have to respect the rights of the non-Muslims in their community and respect their places of worship. Those who don't, do not follow Islam at all.

    We should stop linking being religious to being a terrorist. Know that the more religious a Muslim comes when following the RIGHT ISLAM they are more at peace with themselves and and with others around them . If they are true jihadist and fight thier temptations and the whipsers of shaytan they will be better people that spread peace and do more good. They will not back bite, they will not harm others, they will not lie, they will give charity, they will respect others and help others in need, they will seek knowledge, hold on to family ties & do things that will please Allah.

    When in the state i found myself giving out so many smiles that my cheeks hurt. Muslims are constantly trying to break these false stereotypes linked with ISLAM.

    Those who commit crimes in the name of ISLAM are condemned by Muslims all around the world and these crimes are individual acts and not acts of a RELIGION. 

    I consider myself a moderate muslim and im saying that to reassure anyone that im the better kind of muslim. i want to be more religious and that is my everyday jihad.. and inshala when i do become a better more religous muslim it will make me a better person and not something that is feared but respected and admired even.

     I make mistakes as does everyone. only when i make a mistake it will reflect on my religion. Which is why we always pray to Allah to guide us into the right path... and help us in this very tough journey..

    So I am a proud MUJAHIDA.. and if you are a muslim and you dont have any form of jihad in your life.. then you have a very big misconception of ISLAM because ISLAM is all about JIHAD AL NAFS... 

    The U.S. has a high crime rate and most of the crimes are committed by non-muslims. When the attacker or terrorist is non-muslim he is referred to as a gunman. There is no reference to that persons religion or ethnicity. If he was Arab or Muslim it will be all over the news as the MUSLIM terrorist. 



    Sorry this post is long.. i had a lot to say .. to me the true terrorists are those bombing innocent palestinian civilians and taking kids and 5 year olds to prison ! ISRAEL 's crimes are the real terrorist acts that go on unspoken of.. Bombing schools, hospitals, homes of civilians. Coldblooded shooting kids and infants. Using inhumane  chemical weapons and bombs that are internationally illegal.

    i could post videos and photos but i hate to post graphic images that even i find very hard to see.. my heart aches for you palestine.. my heart aches for Islam that many continue to do crimes in its name.. my heart aches for Syria, Iraq, Egypt and all the pain and suffering of our brothers and sisters around the world. 

    Conclusion Ramadan is not the month moderate Muslims transform into terrorists it is the month muslims repent and reflect on thier lives and work on being better people.

            So was this post scary to you ? Because this post is also a form of Jihad.. 


Friday, March 21, 2014

Happy Mothers Day to All Moms!


If you are a mom... you will know what i'm talking about. single people with no kids might not get this and might even judge me for the things i will say.. first of all dear mom reading this  you need to know that you are NOT alone.. I love my kids and i love being a mother but there are a lot of things about being mother that are driving me MAD and i'm sure you might relate...

I believe all moms had the shock of their life realizing that motherhood is not as EASY as we thought. We knew it wasnt easy but we didn't think that motherhood would be so life changing.From the moment you are a MOM your life does not only revolve around your kids, they ARE YOUR LIFE. and you cant seem to remember how life was Before having a baby. But you are just in SHOCK that this is what motherhood really is a 24 hour job for the REST of your LIFE * GULP


Motherhood is loving your baby even when they look like nothing but a blob with a heartbeat. It is the miracle of life growing inside of you. The miracle of Life and its happening inside of YOU!

You will miss sleeping. You will miss doing a lot of things you used to do and apparently took for granted at the time. Taking a shower whenever you want is a luxury that you didn't know you had back then.




Problem with reality that what we are exposed to growing up and what we see pics of happy families walking around having lunch or a picnic. Happy Family photos with kids dressed up so neatly and smiling perfectly to the camera. We have no idea that in reality to actually take a decent family photo we have to actually yell at our kids to sit in place and SMILE to the camera.



So what i really find hard about being a mother is that Motherhood comes with lack of sleep. Exhaustion. ( physical and mental). When i say mental exhaustion i think what gets to me the most is the WHIINNNNNING! KIDS WHINE.. a LOT!

 typical day..  Me and my huZbandeeee want to go out..
Lulu " mama i want to come with you" Me: no laila you cant its your bedtime
Lulu: i want to come with you. i want to come with you... *crying * screaming lasts for about and hour or till we leave..
then the tantrum gets intense and involves a lot of kicking and banging on the floor.
aAt first you reply calmly.. the first 100 times... then somehow you feel she pressed this button that triggers your inner monster and you scream

" I SAIDDDDDDDDD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" at the top of your lungs..

* lulu looks at you silent for one split second afraid of the loud scream

2 seconds later

" Can i come with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


Motherhood is to wake up to your kid kicking you really hard in the face because in the middle of the night they ran into your bedroom slept sideways and on top of you and their dad and keep moving and kicking through the night. Or them preferring you as their pillow.


Motherhood is guilt, confusion. NOISE lots of NOISE and screams... worry.. oh lots of worry.. its like the moment you become a mother is the moment you will worry for the rest of your life NONSTOP.. even when everything is FINE you WORRY that WHAT IF this happened to my kids? And you freak out and just want to protect them and hide them from the cruelty of the world.


You feel guilty all the time because no matter what you do you will make mistakes.. because no matter what you do you will never be perfect. You feel guilty because in the midst of your crazy day you forgot that you promised to get your daughter or son something you had promised to get them.  You feel guilty after you lose it for a minute and yell at them and then see them sleeping so innocently and want to ball your eyes out because they are so CUTE and innocent and you are such a bad mom. :(--

Motherhood is being so tired that your initial bad memory is now even Worse.. that you might go to buy groceries and go back home forgetting the whole trolley in the store. I believe with every kid that you deliver a part of your brain DIES or is no longer functional.. or maybe it becomes so OVERUSED it just CRASHES.

Motherhood is being the REFEREE when your kids fight.. usually over the toys that they have NEVER EVER Played with.. one of them Touches something the OTHER starts WANTING it!
its like the real life baby version of STREET fighter.. only they are usually at HOME.. and their fights usually end in them calling each other " STINKY POOPOO" or lulu threatening Lina that she will draw her with a SAD face if she does not give her the toy back.

Motherhood is going to shop for yourself and coming back with loads of stuff for your kids forgetting that you went to get something for YOU..

Motherhood is being so used to having the Kids CD in the car with their nursery songs ( which you know by heart) on loop to the point that even when there are no kids in the car when you park your realize OH this was on the whole time :S

Motherhood is cleaning  and changing diapers and wiping more poop and that you never imagined you would see in your whole life.

Motherhood also turns you into a poop expert and you master giving suppositories and knowing the healthy poop from the oh no she is constipated or sick poopie.

Motherhood turns us into the fastest thermometers! by the first touch on your kids forehead you KNOW if their temperature is above normal

Motherhood is feeling sick and suffering from a million physical problems but sucking it up and doing everything you do everyday because so many people depend on you.


Motherhood is getting lots of unwanted advice from people who are desperately in need of Advice but are in denial and think they know it all. Its dealing with people touching your belly and talking to it when you are pregnant as if you are no longer there.. HElloo... you do know im up here right?


Motherhood is when you really start to rethink your life and start appreciating everything your mother did and you realize that she did her best and that no matter how old you are she will always see you as her little baby.


Motherhood is thinking about 10000000 things at once and doing 100000 things at once and its all about the art of multitasking

Motherhood is understanding what your 2 year old means when she says " Montess" (monster)
and lots of other gibberish that sounds so clear to you.

Motherhood is not even hesitating when using your bare hands to wipe your kids Barabeeer ( boogers) or your sleeve when their noses are runny all over your face and there is no Tissue in SIGHT   * people cringe and decide not to shake dinas hand EVER


Motherhood is having so many hormonal changes happen in your body that you are crying one second laughing the next. You crave food you have never craved when you are pregnant.
Your belly is a bottomless pit.. and i doubt brad pitt would approve of it.. haha




 
 Motherhood is feeling like a cow after delivery and not only becuase you now Pump your own milk but also because your body still seems to be prengnat even though your baby is already a year old :S



 Motherhood is carrying your toddler who btw walks now because she refuses to sit in a stroller and wants you to carry them and is throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. So you end up pushing the trolley in one hand carrying your daughter in the other and by the end of the day your arm is shaking from all the weight and ofcourse the Disc in your back that was caused by carrying your daughter abruptly is not getting any better this way :S


Motherhood is peoples looks piercing through you as they glare at you in the mall when your kid decides to take off her shoes and throw them at you or throws a tantrum.





Motherhood is sitting around your kids after a long hectic exhausting day, and suddenly one of them does something really hilarious and you laugh from your heart even though phsyically you didnt think you were capable of laughing this hard . You find yourself in a laughing fit and you notice your daughters missing teeth and how the new ones are now out already and how they grow up so fast. And you hear this innocent giggles and laughs and in that moment you pause and realize that these are YOUR babies and they are right here and they LOVE YOU inspite of your many flaws and mistakes. They are worth every sacrifice you have made... They ARE your life.. and you are blessed to have them right there with you... AL hamdulilah.. 



  Motherhood is a lot of things.. some are wonderful.. some are exhausting. but its not all smiles and laughter. There will be a lot of drama and crying. There will be days where you feel like a total failure. There will be days where you feel i did good today. Don't be so hard on yourself because in the end all they need is your love. 

May God protect our children and Bless our Mothers who indeed have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice selflessly for thier kids everyday. 

       Happy Mothers Day to All the Moms in the World.. You are the comfort of the world.