Tuesday, January 24, 2006

TRue H@ppinE$$


Inspired by my dear cyber me sk... i have been thinkin a lot about true happiness.. today for example was a happy day.. i spent my birthday with a close friend of mine.. we sat discussed many things abt life.. cracked up.. then i had chocolate cake!! yummmy! that to me was a happy day...

So it got me thinkin abt this feeling of happiness.. is it all in our minds? if i decide to be happy? will i succeed? its like there are days the littlest things get to me and i feel depressed! and other no matter whats going on i dont let anything affect my jolly goofy mood!

To some people happiness is about materialistic things.. about money.. being rich.. all about the "Bling Bling" themes in life.. so no matter how much money they have they always want more... and are always finding somethin to complain abt...

Once i saw this poor man who fixes shoes for a living sittin in the street.. seemed soo poor that he doesnt even have a place to stay... but i rememeber he sat there with the biggest smile on his face ! i felt like the silliest person on earth becuase i compared my troubles and worries to his.. i was speechless... he found his happiness in his faith in God...he seemed satisfied with his life and that is how he found his happiness...

On the other hand.. some people are simply psychotic! im not talking abt psychos like me .. i mean REAL psychos! People who watch the movie "fight club" and base thier lives on it.. who like the idea of physical pain! whether its inflicted on themselves or on others! emmm.. some ppl cut themselves sayin they feel a certain relief when they the blood.. other decide to be serial killers. In those cases its caused by intense psychological problems!i suggest THERAPY NOW
Lets not go into that... *Worries she will get those ppl mad and they will come after her..

Some ppl find happiness in food.. eating incessantly till they are obese and suffer from cholestrol and many other obesity consequences... Others find happiness getting drunk or high..

All that i think is just a temporary solution that gives the illusion of happiness.. ur happy as long as ur eating that yummy fatty burger..soon that happiness will be replaced with guilt and regret and intense depression... could lead to worse things like anorexia or bulimia... u end up munching on chips and chocolates.. binge eating ... then.. there is the after effect.. you feel that this is not what u want.. you want to lose weight but feel helpless.. again u resort to food for comfort...munching away your depression....only leads to more fat and more depression!

People who are addicted to herione or any type of drug also have that same cycle somehow... they feel a certain type of rush.. a state of mind that is more like as they would put it....
" outta this world duude" type of happiness when they take drugs or when they get drunk.. but ofcourse they is always the
this is temporary happiness.... right??

So... another thing that is common.. some ppl.. most ppl relate happiness to love.. and having a love life.. or being married.. having kids and a family... like if ur life is without love .. how can u be happy?! that i think is becuase of the mind pollution we see in movies and tv everyday.. evrything seems to be abt love.. a movie starts with a normal girl.. no love life.. sittin at home with her pet cat..someone the viewer can relate to!! ofcourse the movie ends with her being with her hot neighbor/co-worker/the CRUSH somehow...simply we are brain washed! :S come on .. ok it does happen but that doesnt mean anything.. u can still be single and happy!!

Others find happiness in doin things they like doing like art,poetry,singing,skiing.. anything they love doing... Others in their job they feel they are making a difference in the world... i think each and every person has different criteria in their mind .. when this criteria is met they reach thier happiness... look at ur list.. and realize that those things u relate to happiness are not what will make u happy.. happiness is in ur hands.. u can be happy if u want to! just make that decision!!! ( i should of studied psychology)!

i personally feel we often depress ourselves by having some goals in our head that we hoped for and are disappointed we didnt achieve yet.. things we wanted that we didnt get..
ppl we thought would make the "PERFECT" husband who said things like
" UR MY SISTER" or "IM GAY" hehe

life is full of disappointments.. and we dont always get what we want... and we dont always want what we get.. BUT its all in our head... i personally have learnt to appreciate what i have.. and i beleive strongly everthing happens for a reason.. the bad and the good..sometimes its hard to see it.. but eventually u know that its all for the best.. i have decided to be on HAppy mode and not to let anything get to me... its all in my mind.... its all in da membrane....

we shouldnt base our happiness on things that can easily go away or fade.. the first step to being happy is loving yourself for who you are..appreciate the little things in life..
even if ur a couple of pounds overweight/underweight... even if ur not what you wanted to be.. guess what?!
ITS OK!!!!
Its not the end the world!

Remember money gets spent, a man/woman can break your heart, good food makes you fat,drugs can kill you if not cholestrol does!!
Everything fades... everything but GOD... i find my true happiness in my faith... and i feel if you believe God is watching over you and that your part of a bigger plan God has planned for u... then.. ull find inner peace... and that to me is true happiness.. i wouldnt mind a hug bowl of chocolate too heehee

i shall end your torture now... singing * insaane in da membrane... insane in da brain

but i have to admit chocolate does add to my happiness!!! yummy!


True happiness is a choice YOU have to make. It is a state of being only you can create and to change your degree of happiness, change your expectations.
Its all in our HEAD!
speaking of head mine is about to explode from this happy talk!!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Im the BirthD@y GiRl 2day!

YES its my BIRTHDAY today!! i just turned 24 exactly 2 hours and 20 mins ago... till not being 24 isnt that bad! hehe well truth is ... its kind of shocking how the years passed by so quickly i never thought i would be 24 so quickly! too bad i still dont act like it! Well.. lets see the things i thought i would have accomplished by the age of 24.. hmmmm look at list...*crumples list... throws it in nearest dust bin!
*decides to STOP writing down a list of GOALS its depressing!

So... lets see... by next year ill still be 24... and the year after that too.. i think this is the age i want to stick to... hehe no more digits to my age....

i remember when i was a kid and used to want to be an adult! used to say i was 10 and a half! or 11 and a half! now its like NO NO NO IM NOT 24 yet.. give me 2 more minutes! haha

my birthday is happy till now... yes technically my birthday starts in the morning but i dont have anything planned.. but for it to be a HAPPY DAY.. chocolate has to be involved... LOTS OF IT! yuuuuummmmm!

i doubt ill get any presents... but if ur interested in sending me a box of chocolates ill give u my address.. hehe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOi!!! " lookin good" says dino as she glimpses herself in the mirror *pinches own cheeks... and says " ur too cute" haha

ok enough i AGREE lol

p.s. that was said with all modesty.... but i still have to admit im hot ... cant help but hit on myself every once in a while! hehe

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Angel vs. Devil

Thought of the day... Sometimes we meet people... we really think they are angels on earth.. soo sweet.. and nice.. they are soo nice that u can't imagine that someday they will disappoint you...

That is before you really get to know them.. their angellic image in your mind slowly gets blurred out and you realize they are not at all what they think they are.. You start to feel stupid for thinkin they were angels in the first place...

So.. the reality is.. there are no angels out there trapped in human form... humans are humans.. angels are angels.. Some people are nicer than others.. Some are straight out evil.. but we all have an angel and devil inside of us...

its just the percentage of DEvilness in some people is way higher than others....

AS for me... im 99% ANGEL

ok ok ok ... yes im lying... im more like 99.9 % hehehe

truth is... i feel the more religious i become the more angellic i feel.. because Islam tells us how to be good to others.. never backstab each other.. never lie.. never hurt or kill another person intentionally... help the poor and needy... give charity..obey your parents...be good to people.. be good to your neighbors... sooo much more...

i think if we followed the teachings of islam correctly it would be a peaceful world.. the problem is.. even muslims dont practice islam.. and give out the wrong impression to others...

Now unfortunately when people think of ISlam they think of terrorism... bombings... an opressed lady covered from head to toe ... and ofcourse how DARE YOU have a sense of humor??????????

its like Islam is related to frowning or being MAD at the world all the time!!

All that is far from the truth.. Islam is a beautiful religion.. im proud to say im a muslim.. and YES i do have a sense of HUMOR! I wear hijab but don't see myself as opressed, i do not plan on bombing myself anytime soon or in the future..

i respect other religions andbeliefs and i do expect the same from others...

Saturday, January 21, 2006

L@zy Dino$

Have you ever just felt that somehow there is a certain force field in your house that sucks you in?! I sometimes feel like there is a hypnotic force that echos in my mind saying...
i hear that voice in my head every time i want to go out and usually im very obedient .. hug my pillows or cuddle on the couch like a perfect couch POTATOE!
im saying this and im not very proud! but its soo weird! WHEN i do leave the house .. its like i dont want to go back... i say things like
" im goin to wake up early and JOG tomorrow!!"
but as soon as im back home... its like.. im sucked in again.. and i get soo lazy!! ARGH!!
sometimes id be sitting on the couch for soo long that i worry someone might confuse me for part of the furniture and sit on me!!
i really do hope i get a job soon because if this cycle continues i sense major DEPRESSION!!
when my sister comes and starts giving me lectures and saying things like... " U BUMM!!"
how i have to stop being lazy i say things like... i do think too much!
Wish i could just format my brain!!!

InTerNet AddicTion

INterNet ADDiCTioN

How Do u know you are addicted to the NET?! ill tell u how i know im HOOKED!!

well recently my dreams have a taken "post" form! i have started dreaming of posts and replys .. when i am sittin with a group of people and i need to go somewhere i say things like "BRB".. when i find somethin funny i get the urge to say !! i wake up and b4 i even think of doing anything i find myself checking my mail...
When i am asked where i live i say... ONLINE! when i think of the future i think of the future faster connection! my facial expression are now limited to strictly MSN SMILEY FACES!

when i finally do leave the computer at the end of the night more like in the next morning! i feel like i have abandoned a loved one!! i think im ADDICTED TO THE NET! HELP!

im tryin to cut down a bit .. *twitches... hears sound of modem connecting.... *RELieved SIGH

so i guess its not only CHOCOLATE im Addicted TO!!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

MAtter$ of Da HeArT!

ok lets talk abt love? what is love?! they say u get the same feelings of love when u eat chocolate! hmmm does love fade with time?! somethin to think about....IF Romeo and Juliet didnt die would they have gotten married and lived happily ever after or filed for a divorce a couple of years later?! All those sad love stories that end with someone dying.. if they ever did end up together... would they have been that much in love?!

Why is it that we all want what we cant have... i mean for example.. a guy would be soo nice and totally in love with u.. sees u as vision he never dared to dream.. (cheesy yes)... yet u fall for that guy who doesnt know u exist who passes by and doesnt look ur way.. sigh... why is it that we always go for ppl who are hard to get?? im generalizing here... but usually we go for those ppl who we feel we cant get or are uninterested.... its like a saying in arabic

" il mamnoo3 marghoob"... meaning... whats is forbidden is always what is desired ... i do admit sometimes when a guy overdoes it with the " ur too good to be true" talk its annoying.. its like that suffocating type of love!! something sweet every once in while is cute.. but when u keep sayin sweet things all day.. its not as special as it would be if someone said something they really meant..

i agree that woman are hard to figure out.. if a guy is mean we say.. oh he is a jerk! show off! ignores me !psssht *rolls eys ... if he is writing us poetry and sending us roses every day we think.. hmmm ok maybe he is too clingy" BE A MAN!" as pheobe from friends would say!hahah

women in general are more in touch with thier emotions and more emotional than men.. men seem to always be in another world.. we are never on the same page... yet we spend our lives tryin to figure out how to communicate... some fail miserably and resort to becoming GAY!! hmmm not a great solution though... *pukes

i guess even we dont know what we want...wonder how mel gibson knew in "What women want".. i guess its only if u like the guy that no matte how clingy he is .. ud still think its cute...

when the ONE comes along.. no matter how dorky he might look or sound..no matter how cliny he could get.. no matter what his is... love is blind.. and no glasses or lazic operation can make u see the flaws in the person u love... sometimes even his flaws are cute to u! *Sigh...

*violin plays in the background

but on a serious note.. i personally believe the only love that is true is when its dont the right way... Islam does not support any premarital relations...its pointless to get urself into a relationship that could or could not end in marraige.. mostly its a NOT... so why put urself through the trouble or heartache.. when the right guy comes along.. and he is truely serious abt you he would knock on your door rather than stalk u in malls tryin to give u his DIGITS or even ask to be your "boyfriend" till he is READY..

well... then God will definetly bless ur marraige and your love will last Por epper and eper and EPper :P (forever in a weird accent )

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

InTeRnAL BAttle$ !!

Have you ever just sat there and felt like you
had a split personality?! more like an internal battle or internal battles with you heart, mind & soul! where you felt that no matter how hard you try to do things right they just end up a complicated mess in ur head!? maybe its all in my head and maybe this is too deep ... and maybe i need some therapy!!

its like i try to please God as much as i can... i try to please ppl as much as i can... then i realize that even doing my best is not good enough.. that no matter what i do i will always feel bad because we are all sinners and i will always feel guilty for not being as good a mu2mina and muslimah as i would want to be... then id feel bad for the things i havent accomplished... and never will people be please with you!!

And in that moment i think abt all this... i feel a heavy weight on my chest... i remember all those negative thoughts and even comments ive heard throughout all my life... i feel the urge to just scream at the top of my lungs !! AAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHH!

LIke u have had Enough FAkene$$! Enough of everything!! You feel soo much negativeness has accumulated inside of u throughout the years you have been bottled up !

oh wait... a voice says to you.. no no " there is a silver lining on every dark cloud!"

I am SICK of looking at the silver lining around the freakin dark clouds! when all i get is ACID RAIN in my eyes! or more like RAiny Eyes

ok.. i hate being pessimistic.. that the darkside talking.. *wears colorful shades that make her see the rainbows again...

Enough drama for one night i guess... i think i over did it with the deep thoughts... what do u expect its 4:36 am and i just recovered from a serious case of food poisoning.. and i just saw a movie about witchcraft and voodoo...

i shall end this psychotic journey in mind mind and spare u my schizophrenic thoughts... but i will probably be back with more 2moro! *Muo ha ha ha ha EVIL LAugh!

where did all that come from?! hehe im back to normal now that i let it out of my system!!

*skips away in garden of roses.... singing "ITS a Wonderful World"

Monday, January 16, 2006

IM SIck today... dunno what i ate... maybe that nutella cake after the noodles and hot chocolate and coffee was not a smart thing to do.... i have spent all day either in bed or puking my brains out... (yes tooo much info there )

still feeling kind of like someone just kicked me in the stomache a couple of times! i havent had anything to eat and even if i drink i feel like puking again... being sick sucks... waaaaaa3

yet i manage to blog today!! hehe sad isnt it?! I guess we have to get sick every once in a while to rememeber the blessing of health! i mean we have all these blessings showered upon us every day that we take for granted and dont even realize.. HAmdulilah for everything..

yesterday i found out that lots of mahjoob members blog here! its soo cool! hehe! i mean i should of figured that out... im still getting the hang of this blogging thingie... i gtg rest a bit ....

Saturday, January 14, 2006

i ADore kids!!! today i went to see my friend who got married by the age of 16 or 17! she is my age now but with 4 little girlies! i feel weird sometimes because we might be the same age but she moved on the the family life... and im still the same... i dunno its not abt age its abt experiences... i adore kids.. but i fear that one day ill be the worst mother in the world! i cant be strict! im always too linient and cant see a kid cry! i worry that if i ever get married and have kids they will be those spoilt kids who everyone hateS!!

They will be those kids that jump on the furniture when u visit ppl's houses and are too loud and annoying!! the kids that everyone wants to destroy! hehe I HOPE NOT!!! ill get that super nanny to deal with the family crisis! hehe already im plannig to get super nanny! but being a mom is truely a responsibilty! i cant even take care of my stuff for me to take care of another LIFE! its just the idea of a human being depening on U! little helpless cute little thing! i feel no matter what is wrong with me.. how depressed i am! one look at a baby and everything is ok! HOW COULD PPL NOT LOVE BABIEs!!?

but babies are adorable!! SO CUTE ! no one loves them as much as i do!! they are soo cute with thier little tiny toes and fingers!! everything they do or say is cute! up until they hit the age of 10 that age we all wish we could of skipped... your teeth start to fall out.. you ask 1000 questions a second! your parents still chose your wardrobe so ur probably living in fashion SUICIDE! You think ur cool and in reality a couple of years later u will look back at your pics and BURN THEM! hehe

Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life getting oveR!! they say almost all psychological problems are developed at an early age!! i dont think ill ever forgive my mom for the things she made me wear!! Or for those glasses that were practically covering my whole FACE! i looked like the typical geek that u see in all cartoons or movies... big glasses... braces... bangs that cover my face!! somethin like this!

Glad those years are over now i just have to think of ways to get over the many psychological problems i have! hehe i seem to portray myself as a FREAK of NATURE! hehe i just finished frosting a lovely NUTELLA CAKE! YUMMMMMMM! a note to the ANGEL who created NUTellA... " I LOVE U!!! UR A GENIUS!" hahahaha its my sisters birthday today.. my birthday is coming up soon on the 23rd of JAN... ill be the big 24!!! i cant believe im gonna turn 24!!

i think this is the last year i will say my age... ask me next year and ill probably still be turning 24... and after 10 years maybe ill be 25! hehe im gettin old!! boo hooo!! gtg attak the CAKE!