Monday, November 24, 2014

its the little things..


I am someone who reads a lot into things. I tend to overanalyze things that happen sometimes its good but other times its like.. over the top and excruciatingly annoying to those around me who just don't OVERTHINK things.. 

At the end of each night.. after kids finally in bed and i can actually hear my thoughts.. and the many voices in my head.. several with different accents.. i replay all my day and the events that happened and then one of the voices.. the rather mean one.. starts making me feel bad about things i did like. yelling at laila for not going to bed.. or replaying a conversation i had with my friends and suddenly the another voice comes and thinks of what the girl said to me and says things like.. 

"OMG what did she mean by that sentence? Why didn't I say anything back? "

 " You have to stop having Nutella for breakfast "

" Did you call * long list of names rolls in head..  la33333"


 " Yeeee Nseeeti ta3mali .. ( fill in the blank.. cause everyday i forget something)"

so this goes on for about a few minutes before i faint from exhaustion.. and i have to say overanalyzing is stressful and unhealthy especially when you will never know if you are right most of the time..   
But what i really think is a healthy thing to is to contemplate on Gods plan for us in life.. even through the little things in life.. those little details we sometimes don't notice but when you think of them you realize they are signs from God that HE is there and that nothing is a coincidence.. nothing is chance.. Its all part of a plan..what happened with me.. Is I had to get groceries and that is something I must do usually to the point it feels like I am addicted. I feel if I'm not there they will take attendance and give me a tardy letter.. Anyhooo.. I was in a rush and when i reached i realized i had no coins.. and i really needed the trolley.. and well in that same second I arrived a chinese guy was taking his stuff out of his trolley and left it right infront of me.. Perfect timing..

its like time you didnt plan on going somewhere and then end up going and meet someone there by coincidence who gets you a job

Maybe that means nothing to you.. but to me it means that every second of my day was part of a plan to reach this trolley in that second... it means God knows what i need before i need it.. God will never let us down and if we look at those little signs everyday you will feel a comforting feeling and sometimes even goosebumps from those little things that actually have much bigger meaning :) 

Al Hamdulilah.. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014


Think Positive.. or BOSITIVE! that is something i keep trying to do or tell myself to do.. Once upon a time i used to be a very optimistic person.. very trusting.. 

* visual of dina skipping around in a garden of flowers with two braids bouncy in the air and birds & butterflies flying everywhere

singing snow white songs

Well that was a long time ago.. i dont know if it happened over night or was it years and years of continuous disappointments and shik shak shocks...* does al ra3sha to shik shak shok song in her head


ok i was saying.. so somehow.. i find myself doubting people now.. and their sincerity and even if they are doing something GOOD i'm thinking... Why is she doing this? WEISH bedha? 

i find myself thinking of the worst possible scenarios about things that will happen or COULD happen and i get depressed at that possibility..

or even worse i sit with myself and analyze a certain situation to the point where ive talked to myself about it for so long in my head that i IT MUST BE TRUE??

One day i said to myself i will listen to myself.. and notice how many things i complain about daily and if these things are actually things that are as big a DEAL that i make them to be... are these things in my head or are they really FACTS?

ok truth is a lot of KAKA happens in life.. and kaka happens.. and what i'm trying to say is.. i believe that even in the worst possible scenarios in life.. when u fall in deep Buraaz.. even then you can still have positive thoughts.. think to yourself at least you are WARM?? ya333

i believe if we look hard enough in any NEGATIVE situation we can always see something positive..

Yesterday my daughter spilled her milkshake all over the floor..
 i was like Laaaaaaa2aaaa * slow motion 

sees milk splash everywhere as she jumps in the air trying to stop it..

i had just cleaned! and now im maidless i have so much on my plate... 
and i dont mean food plate. i mean sa7n al 7ayat..
MATA-FOOR  fil 3anglish ( metaphor) ya3ni

soo... as i was cleaning.. i moved the washing machine and found a spoon with "frozen" theme that i have been looking for for a long time... if she didnt spill the milk i wouldn't have found it. 

thats just one ex.. but positive thoughts is something we can practice on doing and it really helps.. and it has helped me a lot... and maybe one day i will wake up without these negative thoughts.. 

My cup is HALF FULL.. you know what some people don't even have cups or water! 
SO hamdulilah 3ala kol ishi

believing everything is part of Gods plan for us & that the good and the bad all happen for a reason everything happens for a purpose and trussing in Gods will even when you have no idea what purpose is yet is what makes things easier..


Monday, October 13, 2014

My Short Trip to AMMAN (summary)

Amman.. ya 3amman... i have to say i was impressed by the new Airport.. its cleaner.. and bigger.. and more people smile.. yet there will always be those who are GARFANEEN and give you the " gul3a6 ygal3tek" look as they stamp your passport...

if you are in have to start your day with.. * drum rolll

ABU JBARAH.. the best humus and fool and falafel .. yummmm

Being in Amman always gives me schizophrenic feelings. It feels like home.. i love the weather i love the familiarity of it all.. the familiar sound of the GHAZ icecream truck music as it makes its rounds around the block.. the familiar cool breeze of air touches my face &  didn't realize how much i've missed that feeling of FRESH COOL AIR..yet fe kteer ashya2 betgheez like how people DRIVE.. how people dont follow rules and are pissed off all the time... 

 * side note.. laqad 7ajabt il bint fil soora .. zahrat al khaleej STYLE.. haha 

Speaking of FRESH AIR... one of the things i didn't appreciate in Amman is there is barely any SMOKE-FREE zone.. In one week i feel my lungs have somehow turned into a MATAKEH.. 

I love the familiar sound of khirfan as they pass by and you hear .... haaa3 herra3 tkkk tkkkkk 
as they block the road..

I have to say the TAXI rides are still interesting and every ride you never know what kind of Driver you'll get.. there are several kinds

the " Ana mush nasaab" driver that tells you he will never fool you cause you are not from Amman and as he tells you the story drives the longest routes to your destination.. 

The talkative informative taxi driver that shares all sorts of "Facts" he probably just made up..
"HATH IL DAWA IL MA3i min AMREEKA la kol il amraath ya zalameh agwanou3"

The "Garfan" driver that yells something every once in a while that is probably a masabe.. last one of those i got in said... "SON OF A BISH" when i told him to park close to the door * GULP

The "Cheesy sleezy" driver.. usually has more than one front mirror decorated with Danadeesh and lights.. looks up at you

* dino sees many eyes looking at her nazrat ya33.. suddenly  he plays a song as he smirks and looks at mirrors

Asaala nasri song starts" lama gat 3aynak fe 3ayneee  ibtada baynhom kalam. oltelak milyoom bahbeak.. oltaha min ghier kalam

* dino pukes in her mouth 

The " FANAS" driver.. makes up random stories about himself that he is driving a cab for fun and that he is actually very rich and just filling in for his cousin. Then he would say that nancy ajram was in his cab.. tayeb... LIESH nancy bedha takhod taxi fe amman.. MAJNOONEH HEEYE?

The religious driver.. plays dars deen or quran throughout the ride.. tilts front mirror so you dont show in the back.. I usually hope to get one of those cab rides.. kolo wala asala song ya333... * twitches at memory

but  you know what i cringe at the sight of.. is that long.. m3affin.. ya3oo.. pinky udfar.. that many cab drivers love to ytawloo... and they started using it to poke at thier teeth.. * twitches

* side note i could not find an image of a jordan dude taxi driver with udfar taweel so i had to add the head piece here to this guy.. not sure howe meen aslan lol

If you are in amman you must take a walk on RAINBOW street.. it is the ultimate place to go.. i suggest you go hungry and pass by 

WAZZUP DOG for the yummiest hotdog fil dinya.. ( this time ididnt go so lisa ba7lam feha)
 my husband calls hotdogs mystery meat... hada AGWAnoo3 mystery.. and btakli wa betHAstery

then for dessert.. LAZIM 

GERARD.. if i dont have GERARD icecream.. il re7le ma bten7asab 3alay.. i highly recommend the NUTELLA & the LAZY CAKE flavor... YA WARADEEE 

* please note i tend to use many phrases like the above after my jordan visit no matter how short the visit is... somehow it refreshes my GUrduni side.. and i will say things like.. as my friend told me after visiting jordan no words will do jordan justice.. you HAVE TO speak bel GGAA and GURDUNI so that you deliver the intense GEMOTIONS!

"Hassa3, Gazaz, maima3a, dandara, hath ho.. hathak.. hathol.. very feminine... mashala 3alay

ne hoooo.... sooo i  was saying.. after GERARD if you have SPACE you must try... 

MR KREPE... hada il ishi.... mush bas ZAKI.. you choose whaetever chooclate and more than one and you can have it in a KREPE.. * faints *drools..

only in jordan will you come across a group of jordanian guys singing like this.. i have a friend that likes to sing like this with me.. although we dont say words.. just kharabeesh haha

sadly i did not get a chance to go to CHILI HOUSE Sadeeq al tufooleh.. 

oh and it actually RAINED like 3 times when we were there ... 

but i was invited to the best MANSAF in the world at my uncles house... and i shall dream of it till i taste it again. 

We went to the DEAD SEA.. and it was beautiful.. but the funniest moment was when i look down at the beach and this Black man waves at me.. and i was like ANO HATH??? turns out its was ba3looli Mlaye6 7alo 6eeeneh.. lol 

And the best place for lunch for the kids in AMMAN is Casereccio .. kids can play and make thier own pizza and its loads of fun :)

TAJ MALL was impressive.. fancy wa gameel.. loved the terrace area.. the childrens museum was also very nice for the kids.. 

it was nice to see my family & my niece who is adorable .. she spends so much time with my mom that she sounds like a little 7ajjeh... i was asking mama what the smell was in the kitchen if something was burning. a little voice answered 

" hada mush ishi ma7roo2 hada ree7et SAMNEH "

ahaha so cute.. 

another funny thing that happened in jordan that i have already shared on my fb/ instagram and twitter is that my lulu drew me a picture... and clearly she sees me as a smiley Buttox.. she says im a heart- cloud.. at least im a happy butt... 

lulu now starts kissing you from cheek to cheek like alf bose and says " SMALLA 3alieki SMALLA 3alieki ya habeebti".. i call that the TATA effect.. 

our trip ended with a little kid on the bus to the terminal telling his mom " YIl3an 7azi" cause his vacation was too short hahahah 

That my Gamameeer was my trip summary.. it was nice but its good to be back... 

*dina sings jordanian song she made up to Dubai

no matter where i travel.. getting back to Dubai always feels great.. i love u Dubai.. 

*dina dances robotic dance in airport then does moonwalk... bumps into lonlon by mistake oops

so now after this fattening post.. you might have guess that i have returned with a big KARSH and i shall be going to the gym and detoxing soon... so that i can and WILL do it again next time

* dino betabel 3al karoosh


i will leave you with a video of cuteness as i tease lina asking her to give me her icecream.. please notice how lulu doesn't even acknowledge my question as she continues eating her ice cream

habeebati.. home wa gerard ofcourse

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Poem For Gaza

"i cant look anymore, i cant  watch this anymore" she said 
as she watched the soccer game from the comfort of her bed
"i cant bear this anymore" she said
as she held on to her baby's dead body, with missing limbs and bleeding head

My heart is heavy with sadness anger and helplessness
We are all selfish and only care about our own well being
When we stop looking the other way and start SEEING!
that we should help each other and its supposed to be in our nature as a HUMAN BEING! 

Hands held tightly on our mouth afraid to speak the truth
You might upset someone and might be punched or loose a tooth
Fear of consequences of what we say or do has crippled us to the point of shame
Corruption everywhere and people ruining Islams NAME!

Israels claims this war is a war of  "self defense"
Its not a WAR its a massacre of INNOCENCE
All the targets are civilians , families,woman children in their homes,
All day they hear the f16 plane as it rains its bombs & roams 

How would you feel if you had no where to hide?
How would you feel if your whole family died?
How would you feel if no country was on your side
If there was no where to run and Israels raining bombs you cant abide

Don't you know that today its Us today and tomorrow it could be YOU
Would you want the world to react the way you DO? 
We will be asked about this on judgement day.
Did we do all what we could to help? What will we say???

I call for anyone who still has a conscious and feelings!
A call for Humanity!!Or was it also martyred in the bombings?
Please Lets help the helpless people of Gaza in their Strife
Maybe our words of truth and prayers can save a life!

We live in a world where your life is worth what passport you hold
Unfortunate is your fate if you are a Palestinian, Syrian. Iraqi, or simply ARAB so let the truth be told
No rights No humanity, our lives go cheap.
Animals have seen more mercy & that hurts so deep.

Death toll is going up right now as i type this right now
Civilians homes are being demolished with one huge POWW!
Sometimes they are msgd " you have 58 seconds to evacuate"
With no electricity you are very likely not to see your way to the gate

Hospitals, schools, homes, ambulances, handicapped civilians being massacred
Israel using bombs that are banned by international law on civilians! its this ABSURD!?
Defenseless Gaza is under attack and with borders closed from both sides its a PRISON HELL
no food no water no aid coming in.. Terror and Death has become a familiar Smell

No matter who supports Israel and no matter how high tech weapons you own
Gaza will defeat you with nothing but handmade weapons and stone
You are cowards and you will always hide behind your tanks and weapons
People of Gaza have the support of Allah and will defeat you no matter what happens

People of Gaza are brave and are not afraid to die for their Palestinian Nation 
Know that one day Allah will answer our prayers and He will end this Inhumane Occupation
Death is something they have become way too familiar with so they are not afraid to say
"What is one death compared to the many deaths We die every single day!!"

Dear People of  Gaza i want you to know you are in our  thoughts hearts and our prayers everyday
We feel your pain and will do all we ache with you and i wish things were not this way
God will ask us about you on judgement day..
On that day what will we say???

It is our duty to stand by our brothers and sisters and families in Gaza in NEED
We should do what we can even if its just spreading the FACTS for the world to READ!
I have hope and faith that Allah will answer our prayers in this holy month of Ramadan
Allah protect you.. stay strong because God has a bigger plan for you and it will end in your victory inshala!!

If Israel thinks that they can get rid of Gaza let them think again
Gaza will NEVER Die.. WE are ALL GAZA
Israel will pay for  Every DEATH  Every Massacre Every Child 
Every Tear Every child you have orphaned
Every heart you broke, Every home you demolished.

Hadith which Muslim narrated about Abi Said Al-Khudari that the Prophet (SAW) said;

Whoever of you has seen a Munkar let him change it with his hand, if he can not then by his tongue, and if he can not then by his heart and this is the weakest Iman’.And another version says that; ‘there is not after that an atom of Imaan;’

يمهل و لا يهمل

حسبي الله و نعم الوكيل

Gaza... Please Forgive us for not being able to do more than this.. 

Tuesday, July 01, 2014

The Misconception of Jihad

First of all let me start by saying Ramadan Mubarak to all of you and Inshala this Ramadan is filled with blessings for everyone of us. It is our chance to get closer to Allah and to reflect on our life and past year and reassess our life and the choices we make along the way.

I can imagine due to the Media and even our own reactions to the media there is a certain fear that comes to those in the west who are already Anti-Muslim. To them they are thinking "OH NO its the month where the moderate muslims can possibly get more religious and turn into the EXTREMIST Terrorist MUSLIMS!

 When i say our own reaction i'm talking about articles i've read with titles " Not all Muslims are JIHADISTS".. and that was supposed bring comfort to those who are concerned about Muslims and JIHAD. Actually an article like that will do more harm than good. WHY? Because it reinforces the conviction that "mujahedeen' or " jihad" means "terrorism". When in reality yes ALL MUSLIMS are and should be JIHADIST. And being a JIHADIST has nothing to do with terrorism or bombing yourself or others, or killing non -muslim! (side note : suicide and homicide are major sins in islam)

So True meaning of the word Jihad is an Arabic word that literally means to struggle or strive. Jihad is struggling or striving in the way or sake of Allah. Jihad takes a very important status in the fundamentals of Islam and is one of the basic duties for every Muslim.

It comes in many forms

  • Jihad of the heart/soul (jihad bin nafs/qalb)
  • Jihad by the tongue (jihad bil lisan)
  • Jihad by the pen/knowledge (jihad bil qalam/ilm)
  • Jihad by the hand (jihad bil yad)
  • Jihad by the sword (jihad bis saif) 

    Jihad of the Heart which is referred to in Islam as “the greater Jihad” (al-jihad al-akbar).

    It is one’s constant inner struggle of good against evil; refraining oneself from the whispers of Shaitan (Satan). This process involves allowing Islam to transform one’s soul to achieving internal peace; and forgoing the hatred and anger.

    Jihad by the Tongue
    Jihad by the tongue; in Arabic: jihad bil lisan.
    It is defending Islam and spreading Islam by scholarly lectures, speeches
    and debates. It often overlaps with Da’awah (invitation to Islam, or spreading the message of Islam).

    Jihad by the sword

    Jihad by the sword; in Arabic: jihad bis saif. In contrary to Jihad of the
    heart/soul; this form of Jihad is referred as “the lesser jihad” (al-jihad alasghar).
    There are only two situations were Jihad by the sword is allowed to be

    1) For self-defence. When someone attacks you or when your
    nation has been attacked. Engaging into combat due to self defence. Like any army in the world used weapons and to defend their country.

    2) Fighting against evil and unjust. It is also a sin if a Muslim sees unjust been done, capable of stopping it, yet not doing anything about it. But that does'nt mean go randomly killing innocent people in the name of islam when islam has nothing to do with your crimes.

    Jihad  by the sword is ONLY allowed when a certain condition is met and there are very strict rules about waging Jihad against a community.

    The basic rule about Jihad is that it is only allowed when non-Muslims initiate it. It is NOT to be initiated by the Muslims at all. Muslims are not allowed to raise their swords and start killing every non-Muslim in their community, whether in majority or minority, to force them to accept Islam. God says in the Quran: -

    "There is no compulsion in religion"

    The rules of JIHAD 

    1) They are not allowed to burn down property and houses
    2) Non-combatants, men, women and children may not be killed or attacked deliberately even in battle on a battlefield, and may not be deliberately targeted, nor weapons used which kill indiscriminately3) They have to respect places of worship (churches, monasteries etc.)
    4) They are not supposed to cut down trees or destroy the harvest
    5) They are not supposed to mutilate the bodies of their opponents
    6) When the enemy surrenders and is helpless they have to stop fighting
    7) When war prisoner are taken the treatment for prisoners of war is also clearly stated in the Quran. Prisoners of war under Muslim prisons are to eat, drink and dress the
    same Muslim soldiers eat, drink and dress. And even under the unfortunate event of shortage of food, it is the prisoners who are to eat first before the Muslim soldiers guarding them!

    ms are not extremists or fanatics and have no plans of terrorist attacks and just want to feel NORMAL instead of being constantly seen as terrorist or possible terrorists!
    Those who do not abide by these rules and follow their self-made rules by killing innocent people DO NOT follow Islam. The rules of Islam are what I have mentioned and anyone who disobeys, and does wrong things in the name of Islam, in fact spoils its name and causes other muslims aroudn the world to suffer from their ignorant acts! 

    Islam is a religion of peace. Muslims have to respect the rights of the non-Muslims in their community and respect their places of worship. Those who don't, do not follow Islam at all.

    We should stop linking being religious to being a terrorist. Know that the more religious a Muslim comes when following the RIGHT ISLAM they are more at peace with themselves and and with others around them . If they are true jihadist and fight thier temptations and the whipsers of shaytan they will be better people that spread peace and do more good. They will not back bite, they will not harm others, they will not lie, they will give charity, they will respect others and help others in need, they will seek knowledge, hold on to family ties & do things that will please Allah.

    When in the state i found myself giving out so many smiles that my cheeks hurt. Muslims are constantly trying to break these false stereotypes linked with ISLAM.

    Those who commit crimes in the name of ISLAM are condemned by Muslims all around the world and these crimes are individual acts and not acts of a RELIGION. 

    I consider myself a moderate muslim and im saying that to reassure anyone that im the better kind of muslim. i want to be more religious and that is my everyday jihad.. and inshala when i do become a better more religous muslim it will make me a better person and not something that is feared but respected and admired even.

     I make mistakes as does everyone. only when i make a mistake it will reflect on my religion. Which is why we always pray to Allah to guide us into the right path... and help us in this very tough journey..

    So I am a proud MUJAHIDA.. and if you are a muslim and you dont have any form of jihad in your life.. then you have a very big misconception of ISLAM because ISLAM is all about JIHAD AL NAFS... 

    The U.S. has a high crime rate and most of the crimes are committed by non-muslims. When the attacker or terrorist is non-muslim he is referred to as a gunman. There is no reference to that persons religion or ethnicity. If he was Arab or Muslim it will be all over the news as the MUSLIM terrorist. 

    Sorry this post is long.. i had a lot to say .. to me the true terrorists are those bombing innocent palestinian civilians and taking kids and 5 year olds to prison ! ISRAEL 's crimes are the real terrorist acts that go on unspoken of.. Bombing schools, hospitals, homes of civilians. Coldblooded shooting kids and infants. Using inhumane  chemical weapons and bombs that are internationally illegal.

    i could post videos and photos but i hate to post graphic images that even i find very hard to see.. my heart aches for you palestine.. my heart aches for Islam that many continue to do crimes in its name.. my heart aches for Syria, Iraq, Egypt and all the pain and suffering of our brothers and sisters around the world. 

    Conclusion Ramadan is not the month moderate Muslims transform into terrorists it is the month muslims repent and reflect on thier lives and work on being better people.

            So was this post scary to you ? Because this post is also a form of Jihad.. 

Friday, March 21, 2014

Happy Mothers Day to All Moms!

If you are a mom... you will know what i'm talking about. single people with no kids might not get this and might even judge me for the things i will say.. first of all dear mom reading this  you need to know that you are NOT alone.. I love my kids and i love being a mother but there are a lot of things about being mother that are driving me MAD and i'm sure you might relate...

I believe all moms had the shock of their life realizing that motherhood is not as EASY as we thought. We knew it wasnt easy but we didn't think that motherhood would be so life changing.From the moment you are a MOM your life does not only revolve around your kids, they ARE YOUR LIFE. and you cant seem to remember how life was Before having a baby. But you are just in SHOCK that this is what motherhood really is a 24 hour job for the REST of your LIFE * GULP

Motherhood is loving your baby even when they look like nothing but a blob with a heartbeat. It is the miracle of life growing inside of you. The miracle of Life and its happening inside of YOU!

You will miss sleeping. You will miss doing a lot of things you used to do and apparently took for granted at the time. Taking a shower whenever you want is a luxury that you didn't know you had back then.

Problem with reality that what we are exposed to growing up and what we see pics of happy families walking around having lunch or a picnic. Happy Family photos with kids dressed up so neatly and smiling perfectly to the camera. We have no idea that in reality to actually take a decent family photo we have to actually yell at our kids to sit in place and SMILE to the camera.

So what i really find hard about being a mother is that Motherhood comes with lack of sleep. Exhaustion. ( physical and mental). When i say mental exhaustion i think what gets to me the most is the WHIINNNNNING! KIDS WHINE.. a LOT!

 typical day..  Me and my huZbandeeee want to go out..
Lulu " mama i want to come with you" Me: no laila you cant its your bedtime
Lulu: i want to come with you. i want to come with you... *crying * screaming lasts for about and hour or till we leave..
then the tantrum gets intense and involves a lot of kicking and banging on the floor.
aAt first you reply calmly.. the first 100 times... then somehow you feel she pressed this button that triggers your inner monster and you scream


* lulu looks at you silent for one split second afraid of the loud scream

2 seconds later

" Can i come with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"


Motherhood is to wake up to your kid kicking you really hard in the face because in the middle of the night they ran into your bedroom slept sideways and on top of you and their dad and keep moving and kicking through the night. Or them preferring you as their pillow.

Motherhood is guilt, confusion. NOISE lots of NOISE and screams... worry.. oh lots of worry.. its like the moment you become a mother is the moment you will worry for the rest of your life NONSTOP.. even when everything is FINE you WORRY that WHAT IF this happened to my kids? And you freak out and just want to protect them and hide them from the cruelty of the world.

You feel guilty all the time because no matter what you do you will make mistakes.. because no matter what you do you will never be perfect. You feel guilty because in the midst of your crazy day you forgot that you promised to get your daughter or son something you had promised to get them.  You feel guilty after you lose it for a minute and yell at them and then see them sleeping so innocently and want to ball your eyes out because they are so CUTE and innocent and you are such a bad mom. :(--

Motherhood is being so tired that your initial bad memory is now even Worse.. that you might go to buy groceries and go back home forgetting the whole trolley in the store. I believe with every kid that you deliver a part of your brain DIES or is no longer functional.. or maybe it becomes so OVERUSED it just CRASHES.

Motherhood is being the REFEREE when your kids fight.. usually over the toys that they have NEVER EVER Played with.. one of them Touches something the OTHER starts WANTING it!
its like the real life baby version of STREET fighter.. only they are usually at HOME.. and their fights usually end in them calling each other " STINKY POOPOO" or lulu threatening Lina that she will draw her with a SAD face if she does not give her the toy back.

Motherhood is going to shop for yourself and coming back with loads of stuff for your kids forgetting that you went to get something for YOU..

Motherhood is being so used to having the Kids CD in the car with their nursery songs ( which you know by heart) on loop to the point that even when there are no kids in the car when you park your realize OH this was on the whole time :S

Motherhood is cleaning  and changing diapers and wiping more poop and that you never imagined you would see in your whole life.

Motherhood also turns you into a poop expert and you master giving suppositories and knowing the healthy poop from the oh no she is constipated or sick poopie.

Motherhood turns us into the fastest thermometers! by the first touch on your kids forehead you KNOW if their temperature is above normal

Motherhood is feeling sick and suffering from a million physical problems but sucking it up and doing everything you do everyday because so many people depend on you.

Motherhood is getting lots of unwanted advice from people who are desperately in need of Advice but are in denial and think they know it all. Its dealing with people touching your belly and talking to it when you are pregnant as if you are no longer there.. HElloo... you do know im up here right?

Motherhood is when you really start to rethink your life and start appreciating everything your mother did and you realize that she did her best and that no matter how old you are she will always see you as her little baby.

Motherhood is thinking about 10000000 things at once and doing 100000 things at once and its all about the art of multitasking

Motherhood is understanding what your 2 year old means when she says " Montess" (monster)
and lots of other gibberish that sounds so clear to you.

Motherhood is not even hesitating when using your bare hands to wipe your kids Barabeeer ( boogers) or your sleeve when their noses are runny all over your face and there is no Tissue in SIGHT   * people cringe and decide not to shake dinas hand EVER

Motherhood is having so many hormonal changes happen in your body that you are crying one second laughing the next. You crave food you have never craved when you are pregnant.
Your belly is a bottomless pit.. and i doubt brad pitt would approve of it.. haha

 Motherhood is feeling like a cow after delivery and not only becuase you now Pump your own milk but also because your body still seems to be prengnat even though your baby is already a year old :S

 Motherhood is carrying your toddler who btw walks now because she refuses to sit in a stroller and wants you to carry them and is throwing a tantrum in the middle of the grocery store. So you end up pushing the trolley in one hand carrying your daughter in the other and by the end of the day your arm is shaking from all the weight and ofcourse the Disc in your back that was caused by carrying your daughter abruptly is not getting any better this way :S

Motherhood is peoples looks piercing through you as they glare at you in the mall when your kid decides to take off her shoes and throw them at you or throws a tantrum.

Motherhood is sitting around your kids after a long hectic exhausting day, and suddenly one of them does something really hilarious and you laugh from your heart even though phsyically you didnt think you were capable of laughing this hard . You find yourself in a laughing fit and you notice your daughters missing teeth and how the new ones are now out already and how they grow up so fast. And you hear this innocent giggles and laughs and in that moment you pause and realize that these are YOUR babies and they are right here and they LOVE YOU inspite of your many flaws and mistakes. They are worth every sacrifice you have made... They ARE your life.. and you are blessed to have them right there with you... AL hamdulilah.. 

  Motherhood is a lot of things.. some are wonderful.. some are exhausting. but its not all smiles and laughter. There will be a lot of drama and crying. There will be days where you feel like a total failure. There will be days where you feel i did good today. Don't be so hard on yourself because in the end all they need is your love. 

May God protect our children and Bless our Mothers who indeed have sacrificed and continue to sacrifice selflessly for thier kids everyday. 

       Happy Mothers Day to All the Moms in the World.. You are the comfort of the world.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Dont Judge Ya Hajj

As we grow older we learn by our new experiences everyday and whether we like it or not we do change. Life changes us not necessarily to worst or better, we just change and learn that the world is not as simple as we thought. We learn that in this world there is not 1 single person who is 100% identical to the next. We are different biologically, psychologically and not one of us has the same fingerprint. Even identical twins have their differences and in the End God will judge us for the way we chose to live our life, the sins we have done and only GOD has the right to do that.

Unfortunately in this time and day every single one of us is judging one another. Whether we admit it or not, some make their judgments out loud and act upon them, others keep the judgment in their minds and give the person a chance to prove them wrong.

When we meet a person, we immediately and often unconsciously assess that person by how they look, how they act. Its a split-second judgment we make sometimes even involuntarily. we judge others by what they are wearing, how they talk and who they are with.

i believe a lot of us judge each other to make ourselves feel better or superior to one another. Like pointing at that half naked lady saying " Can you believe what she is wearing??".. I am guilty of doing that several times. :S 

Its that moment your kids throws a tantrum in the mall and people don't look at your baby but at you and their looks are saying what a bad parent you are. 

Every single day we judge and are judged. And some people are extremists and some people are a little more subtle but we all do it and we all hate being judged as well.

One of the main changes i feel has changed in myself is that i have completely different perspective of others. Life taught me to never say " I'll never do that?" or " No way No way i will be in such a position".  Everything is possible. One day you are judging someone for doing something and the next thing you know, years later you are in their place being judged for that same thing.

We sometimes feel that its okay to tell someone how they should behave or what is acceptable and what is not. Like we know better and that we are right because well OFCOURSE WE ARE RIGHT! * pshhht * rolls eyes to express how ridiculous anyone would be to suggest she could ever be wrong

Truth is first step to opening up your mind is to accept that YOU too could be very wrong.
Our judgment of others is an extension of our own self-judgment, based on our own backgrounds adn beliefs.

We have a certain expectation or idea in our mind of how someone SHOULD act, or REACT.Once we meet someone who does not react according to our standards or ideologies we automatically start to criticize them. 

As a Muslim, and Hijabee i feel my hijab is the fastest way people judge me. Automatically they think oh she is a hijabee and must be an extremist.  She must have issues and be very oppressed. She must not have a sense of humor.. and so on. a lot of negative stereotypes come with Islam unfortunately and I feel when traveling abroad you have to work twice as hard to break those stereotypes. 

In the US i found myself giving out extra smiles and hellos to people and it was like i was trying to get them to see im NOT a terrorist. I am not Oppressed! And no matter how nice they were to me the moment Lulu cried they would look at her with such fear in thier eyes and inspect her face to see if i slapped her or beat her up while they weren't looking. This ofcourse was not everyone but some people, others were really friendly but not matter what i was always so self-conscious of my hijab.

i felt when i entered a quiet room that as soon as they look at me they hear..

 ALLAHIU AKBAAAAAAAAAAAAAR * imaginary gunshot sounds in the background

So sad that even Al Takbeer which is the start of every prayer, every adan is now just connected with violence and terrorism. When In reality if there is any religion in the world that is about PEACE it is 

The meaning of ISLAM is slam is derived from the Arabic root "Salema": peace, purity, submission and obedience. In the religious sense, Islam means submission to the will of God. 

ASSALAM is one of Gods divine names which means Peace. 

But even here in between our own same cultures even people of the SAME religion can be harsher or each other than those from totally different religions and cultures. 

I too was once caught up into a very harsh judgement phase where i too judged people by what they wore, by what they did. But now i try to see beyond what is obvious. I have met so many people who hide behind their Hijab, Jilbab even Niqab. I have seen people treat those who remove hijab as if they have left ISLAM. When in reality leaving prayer is far worse. As leaving prayer is Kabeera a major sin.

Did it ever occur to you people that maybe your non-stop judgments and expectations and harsh words about her hijab are what brought her to take it off?

Did it ever occur to you that by just getting up to pray that itself is a reminder to pray, instead of telling her GO PRAY HARAM HARAM you will go TO Hell?

Did you ever stop and pray for that person who you are criticizing instead of attacking them?

Hijab is a responsibility that many brave muslim woman are willing to take. It is a step that many fear to take, other make in a young age, others make after a sudden rush of IMAN and faith. For whatever reason a woman chooses to wear hijab it is something that is between her and between Allah. It should definitely be a way of measuring a persons faith.

Dont get me wrong.. i am Pro-hijab . I love my hijab but i also like every human being make mistakes. I struggle with my prayers.. i know that my hijab is not always right and i have a long way to go. Its a constant jihad that i and every Muslim goes through. We all have our ups and downs and life is hard enough without people judging you and putting more burdens on you that you can handle.

I have had many people who are dear to me remove hijab. At first i judged. It upset me a lot. I think it was after someone i loved very dearly removed it that it it HIT ME. Maybe her being judged all the time is what drove her to remove it. Maybe her Faith is no longer as strong as it was to be able to represent Islam by her actions. Maybe she is starting to feel that her actions are bringing shame or ruining islams reputation and in her mind removing it is a way of removing the responsibility of being seen as the walking symbol of ISLAM. Maybe she could handle the burden of being treated with such prejudice and discrimination but could not bare to see that her hijab is bringing this same treatment to her own kids. 

I can imagine if someone beat me up and asked me to remove hijab i will refuse. But if they lay a finger on my daughters i am not sure if i will be that strong. Allah ythabetna and inshala i never go through that test.

So don't assume things on your own and assume you are better than that person in anyway because the only difference between you and her is that her weakness is more visible.

I'm not saying what she is doing is right and it will always break my heart to see someone dear let go of something so precious. i believe we all struggle and the reward for this inner struggle we fight is greater than we know. We all have our weaknesses and strengths some peoples weakness are more obvious than others.

 I'm just saying don't treat that person with an obvious weakness with such harsh judgment and know that maybe behind that outer appearance is a seed of goodness that can only grow if its watered with kind words and love and not harsh criticism. 

 Be kind to one another and no that every person has been created with different gifts, weaknesses and strength, every person has different interests, abilities and capabilities.

 Not one person in this world has shared the same exact experiences in this life. 

Not one person has the exact same thoughts and experiences.  

To my dear hijabee sisters who are struggling with thier hijab and are started to feel that its a burden on them. Know that your hijab will not ward off potential husbands. I know that we are constantly surrounded by distractions and temptations that overwhelm us at times. And at times you will feel like a hypocrite by the things you do. Try to remember the beauty of it and how you felt when you first wore it. Try to realize how much good has come into your life and how much peace and tasyeer has come your way. 

I speak for myself and i feel hijab is a protection, its a constant reminder to oneself. I feel after i wear it i always think twice or more before i do something. I know that i do hold a great responsibilty and that i do whether i like or not srand for islam with my actions. I have respect for it and that respect is what stops me sometimes. I feel by holding on to it it is a form of 3ibada and if i chose to jahed everyday to please Allah it is one door that i am keeping open and i know that maybe with this door God will help me in my struggle and will open many other doors for me.

If every woman left hijab because she felt she could not represent islam as a sinner, there would be no hijab in the world because not one of us is strong enough or perfect to be the IDEAL muslimah. 

If the prophet ( pbuh ) left spreading Islam once things got tough and once people hurt him there would be no ISLAM. 

Jihad is part of our everyday life. Always know the harder it is for you the greater the reward.
Have Faith in Allah and remember you have it on to please HIM. 

 Only God can judge us. Allah the most Merciful who knows of our differences says in the Quran in 
Surat Al-'Anbyā' (The Prophets) - سورة الأنبياء

"And We place the scales of justice for the Day of Resurrection, so no soul will be treated unjustly at all. And if there is [even] the weight of a mustard seed, We will bring it forth. And sufficient are We as accountant."

Sub7anllah It is not even ONE scale for everyone. Only God knows how he will judge us on that scale and he left a lot in " 3ilm al ghayb". What i know is that for each and every person and there will Justice, there will be no INJUSTICE and only God is all-knowing and only he knows how he will judge us so please don't act like you are God by saying who will go to hell and who will go to heaven.

And please please enough with the lollypop and flies metaphor. It is degrading to woman. We are not sweets or lollypops. And if i was not a hijabee i would be highly offended that just because i dont have the scarf on that i am now filthy. I have a lot of non-hijabi friends and family who are so decent and pious and hijab is not a way of measuring ones purity. 

This topic was focused on hijab but it applies to every single judgment we make about those who we know nothing about.

So if you really religious and fear Allah and want whats best for your Deen.. Dont judge ya hajj and try to think of kinder ways to help those who are struggling with thier faith because it is kindness that will make a difference.

Allah ythabetna and help us to be stronger in the face of shaytan and the daily temptations we face.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

LonLons Birthday

It has been a very busy month! Lonlons birthday was lovely and i think the kids had a good time.  The thing is with birthdays they are a lot like weddings. There is always someone who you didnt invite that is pissed that you didnt invite them.They are not really just about the birthday girl who wasnt really sure she was the birthday girl at one point. Its about sharing your happiness. Its about making others happy because you are happy on this day. Its seeing kids dance and enjoy going back home with favors. Watching them Bang Away at  the Pinata that didnt tear open till i tore it open like the HULK! Then seeing them attacking the candy on the ground. It was a lot of work but seeing all those kids happy made it worth it :)

 You will never be able to please anyone and well something always does not go as planned but in the end it is just a birthday and if it was for me i would invite everyone i know but it was not possible which is why i had a small DIY party :) Here are the pics i promised to share with the little party details for inspiration.

Under the Sea Theme.

Welcome Frame :)

Customized Clay Giveaways

Customized Chocolate & Hershey Kisses
Customize Chocolate Lollypops
Sea Animal Theme Bubbles
 Crab Shaped Plates

Fish Theme Marshamallows dipped in White Chocolate
 Customized Favor Beach Set!
Fishing Game :)

 Lots of Prizes, Coloring Corner & more Games

 I had a Shark boxing corner as well :) which i forgot to take photos of

And a little Mermaid Lonlon ofcourse Awwww

A lot of my friends helped me and without my friends and lovely neighbors help i think this bday would not have been such a success :)

Oh i also had a huge surprise myself on my BIRTHDAY ! which was 2 days ago :)

Im 32


*dino nods slowly with eyes closed

My cute neighbors came over with a surprise bday cake and i was all dressed up ready to go out on a bday DATE. which was all part of the surprise..

First time anyone ever surprises me on my bday..

i feel so loved.. and happy.. al hamdulilah

Family,Friends, Nutella ∧ lots of laughs that was the best birthday ever...

I am now taking orders for customized birthday themes and you can check out the fb page 

We offer a variety of desserts, Customized chocolates, favors,  water bottles, Pushpops ,  candy bags Lollypops & can design any party theme of choice :)