Sunday, January 29, 2017

It's the Little Things that Make Life Big

  Looking back at my life, my childhood memories and the things that really are dear to my heart. Those special moments and memories that i cherish and hold in my heart forever made me realize that its the littlest things and acts of kindness that someone might not even remember that have had a great impact on my life.

I remember i was once so upset about something ( i don't even remember what it was) i was in city center mall and i was outside the prayer area sitting on one of the stairs steps crying. A hijabi girl i don't know came to me and just gave me a hug and left. It's been maybe 25 years since that hug & i will never forget it cause it came at a time i felt i needed one & i really didnt have any hijabi friends at the time. I was not muhajaba and i kind of had this idea that hijabees can be extra conservative or
judgemental cause i didnt wear the hijab. Not only did she change the way i saw hijabees her kindess made me want to learn about our religion and she could have simply passed by me without looking at me or saying a word but she made a choice to do something kind. I wish i can know who she was and that i could tell her how much that hug meant to me and how much it has affected me.

How many times did we walk away when we could have done something kind? 
Telling ourselves its not our business or it will be too weird to say anything. 

You know one time im about to enter an elevator sometimes holding a bunch of stuff. Not only did the person in the elevator not help or hold the door open for me, they kept pressing on the CLOSE button to make sure i don't get in! * tut tut tut

My friend lost her son in a playground ( just for a few minutes) that felt like a lifetime she was standing there screaming for help. Yelling out his name at the top of her lungs with a cripling sound of fear in her voice! No one did anything but stare or walk by her. 

It's in our human nature to help each other & care for each other. It's okay to greet each other for no reason. Salam Alikom or Hi. or a simple smile wont cost you anything. 

You know il bujulotooni? those who you smile at and don't smile back?!
         IGLIB WIJHAK nazra on the face zay had il 3amo

I don't remember a lot of things as i feel my brain is like Dory the fish in Nemo but there are things i will never forget. Like my best friend standing there in front of the hospital after i msgd her 6 am that my water broke. Like the way my husband used to come everyday to be by my side when we were engaged and my dad was in the hospital.

 I remember the week before my dad had his stroke how he went to the discount store and bought all the kinds of candles he found cause i had mentioned i wanted to have floating candles in my wedding. ( he got some very weird ones) but it was soooo cute and thoughtful and i wish i can go back to that day and give him the biggest HUG.

I will never forget having my friends there for me at the times i needed them the most especially after coming out of the operation room and still under the anesthesia effect lol

I remember when i once wore the hijab one of my friends thought i was joking about it. She laughed and laughed and it broke my heart into pieces cause i was so vulnerable at that time. After she realized i was not joking and how she really had hurt my feelings i remember getting and email from her. It was sent not just to me but to many other people and she said that just like she laughed infront of others she wanted to apologize in front of others as well and that she truly was sorry and proud of me. Her email really touched my heart because she could have simply just walked away.

I remember my mom freaking out when she thought i was about to deliver my baby and it was even blogged about here

 I remember compliments from total strangers.. When i compliments i don't mean " Eish ya Khasseh" or "Barbie" mu3akasat in Amman. I mean that lady that stops just to tell you " You are Beautiful" or " i love your Eyes or .. ( anything nice) that was ever said is something you will remember cause she is a total stranger and has no reason to JAMEL and is simply just being nice. 

Mostly happens fe Blad il Ajaneb cause in the Arab world the lady giving you the look from head to toe with ja7ra is probably admiring what you are wearing. And if in the Arab world you are complimented by an Auntie and you are the age of 20-28 know that this compliment might be followed by " mertebta ya habeebti?"

I remember so many things and most of them are kind things people have done and not the materialistic things because its those little things that you hold dear to your heart and cherish forever and truly impact your life. Think about what you say to others cause hurtful words can hurt so deeply. 

Never underestimate the power of kindness and kind acts or simple words to others. A simple text a smile, a sincere compliment that you are thinking but never told that person. Its those things that bring people together and remind us that it is only Human Nature to be Kind so please fight that inner sharshabeel inside of all us and Lets all just SPREAD THE LOVE!!

  * Group Hug * Group Dabke

 YA bayeee shu Baggorr anaaaa 

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Things i said i would never do

How many times did we say " I would never ever do that!" 
and end up doing the exact thing you said you would never ever EVER do!?

* raises hand with guilty look on her face

Looking back at my life i am now a walking example of all the things i said i would NEVER do...

1. I will never yell at my kids.. sadly i yell i try not to.. but sometimes i feel its out of my control.. something i am still working on.. i am not proud of this and i know its wrong to yell but its something im working on...

Also my normal tone is kind of loud.. in comparison to my husband who is very calm.. His family is also very calm. when they speak to each other i am surprised they even can hear each other.

Khalto to Ahmed in whisper tone " Wayn il remote?" 
Dina looks to see if Ahmed heard her as she is sitting very far away 
*Ahmed gets up and hands remote" 
Dina 😲 😲 😲 😲 😲 😲 😲 😲

i still remember when i was in Amman not too long ago.. 
sitting peacefully then i heard my mom running to the door and screaming so loud...

                                           il GHAaAAAAAAAAAAAAZ  il GHAAAAAAAAZ !!!!!

At this point i freak out 😲 thinking there was a fire in the house.. but apparently in Amman the Ghaz truck makes rounds around the building and you have to open your window or door and call him in!
See in my family we tend to Over Express our feelings vocally.. haha

We are used to using outdoor voices indoor. We speak to each other as if we all are wearing hearing aids.. So when i am around my husbands family i am suddenly aware of how loud i actually am cause its so quiet whenever i don't speak..

                      When dina is quiet.. you hear the clock ticking * tick tock tick tock" 

2. I will not let my kids watch a lot of tv or stay on the ipad a lot & ill never let them sleep without a bedtime story

So imagine this.. you have to cook, and you have like 1000 things you need to do and your kids are just jumping around you saying " MAMA MAMA MAMA 10000 times in one minute.. If i told you there is a magic way to make them if for a little while be distracted and quiet and give you some alone time to get things done.. would you NOT take on that offer! i am not saying tv all day or ipad all day. but sometimes having that time is what keeps my sanity!

3. I will never say the things the Aunties and Khaltos say... 

    I think i am now 98 % khalto.. when i get up from a chair i have to make those sounds like " akh . mnnnnnhh... Ya Allah.. " i say random da3wat to people " Allah yerda 3aliek"
I talk about how our generation is not like the generation now and how in my days i didnt get telephone till i was in university.. My 6 yr old wants a phone.. shufti yakhti ballah?!?

I share recipes and i am in a whatsapp group for recipes of tabeekh.
I am in another group that shares jokes that are not for kids .. i dont know why when women get older thier jokes get more and more perverted :S i wish i can unsee some of the fwds i have received on whatsapp.. :S

4. I never thought i would sniff anyone butts and check poop texture 
i am someone.. who is naturally mon2aref... i remember gagging when i had to clear out the kitchen sink after all the food laghawees were stuck on it.. After having kids.. being mon2arfeh is not an option. You will be pooped on. You will check if your child is pooping regulary. You will learn the art of inserting ta7ameel ( suppositories) for constipated babies. You will feel joy when your baby poops after 3 days of constipation. You will regularly sniff your baby's but to see if they have pooped. You will discuss the color of your baby's feces with other moms.

Alo keefek Rawan, Bedi as2alek.. law lown il kaka asfar 3adi?? 

5. I never will wipe anyone's boogers by my hand.
So your kid has a runny nose and about to get on the bus and there is no  KLEENEX to be found? what can i do???? * hand on nose il bent quick mas7a .. i know 2araf.. but 2araf situations call for 2araf actions. it was either that or let her lick it..

6. I will never watch Turkish Series...

I am now watching not 1.. not 2 but 3 Turkish series..i am so obsessed i sometimes watch it without translation. I also watch 2 at the same time with multiple windows open at the same time.

7. i will never lie to my kids..
 i think as moms we are allowed to lie a few white lies like for example..

  "If you eat your boogers they will turn into little worms in your stomach"
  " i was the smartest kid in my class" were'nt we all ahaha
  " Barney is Sleeping"
  " The Store is closed now"
  " i have no money to buy it "
  " This does not have Spinach in it"
  " This is the medicine you LOVE"
  " I will just go to the bathroom then i will come read you a story" * waits till lina falls asleep
  " The Toothfairy called me and said she will take her money back cause you are not brushing your teeth"
 " Elsa is sleeping"
 " Your friend is sleeping"
 " I am msging your teacher right now"
 " I am emailing your teacher right now"
 " If you don't put your seatbelt on the Police man will arrest you"
 " If you dont brush your teeth they will look like this ↓

The list goes on an on... my point is.. 3ala ra2i Justin PEiiiPer.. Never say Never..cause all the things you said you will never ever do are what you will do precisely

                                           Nefar meeen ya habibi.. Nefartitchhhhhhiiiiiii...


Sunday, January 22, 2017

Bye Bye 34 hello 35 !!

So today i'm sleepy but i feel i cant sleep as today is the last day i can say i am still 34!! Tomorrow ill be 35! i still remember my 11th birthday when i felt i was so old then i remember looking at the high school students and the students in gr12 and thinking WOW they are so old!

 HOW HOW HOW did time fly?! How am i 35 already! i look at my kids getting older and i am now an official Khalto that says all the khalto stuff of  " SHU KABRANEEN!! to everyone cause

But isnt everyone KABRan?!?

Except AMR DIAB and NAJWA KARAM and a few lucky people who seem to either not age or look younger!!

So.. mostly i look back at my life and i realize that life teaches you so many lessons and the best lessons are learnt when they hurt us the most. I try to take the negative and turn in into positive knowing that even the bad things that happen to us happen for a reason. There is good in everything and even though its hard sometimes we should try to see the positive side of things.

Just knowing that Allah has a plan for us all and that everything is part of His plan for you gives me comfort. Al Hamdulilah for everything and for everyone in my life. I have so much love in my heart for so many people that i want to just start hugging people randomly and spreading love! ok.. maybe just female people.. unless if you are my celebrity crush.. *sigh

* dina is 35 but is suffering from signs of murahaqa

Have you ever had an awkward hug? well i have..  i  once told a guy " sorry i dont shake hands" he gave me a quick hug.. it was very awkward and it was over before i said " that means i don't hug too"it was a long time ago and i think he was interested in my male friend more than he was in me so...

When i think of awkward moments i think it should be written in my " About myself" section as i i am the master of awkward moments, embarrassing moments, blurting out awakard things , meeting awkard people and seeko seekos

I was at a wedding once, and there is this 3amo that is related to us and i remember growing up he was always at our house and we would visit him all the time. In my mind i thought he was my dad's uncle.

So anyway many years later i am invited to a wedding and i see this 3amo.. he is old and i just remember the old days and from my happiness i shrieked" AMO ABU HUSAM * boseh *boseh

At this point to him i am just this Random Hijabi girl that ran to him and kissed him! Last time he saw me i was like 17 years old.. So anyhow from shocked confused look on his face and on his wife's face i quickly said " ana bent farouk al natour"... so later i ask mama.. is Amo Husam baba's Uncle? she says NO... " was i supposed to kiss him lama salamt 3alieh?" .. la3333... opsss

So... what are the things i tell myself to comfort myself to the fact that im getting older...

1. my lady i met once said " you have kids i thought you were in your twenties"

2. a got 3arees proposal at the coop infront of bandora. which means i look like i am still 3aroossa
( beghad il nazar 3an il 3arees) ahah

3. another lady once said i look like im 28 * bosa to that lady

4. in my heart ill always be 25

5. Chocolata makes me happy... and my answer to everything is CHOCOLATA so i had to write that

6. you are only as old as your neighbor says you are

Friday, January 20, 2017

I Can't Sleep

I can't sleep,
shall i sit there and weep,
or shall i tweet a peep,
i choose to blog instead of counting sheep

So why can't i sleep?? Other than the fact that i had a 3 shot American Strong Coffee at around 6 pm & my Brain is on NONSTOP worrying and thinking mode. There is no moment of blank screen. i think i even have multiple dreams at the same time. Not once did i wake up with one dream. its like many screens playing at once and i sometimes even sleep walk and talk. 

I am a multitasker.. that is me.. i am not saying i succeed in multitasking but i am saying that i feel there is not enough time in this life to just do one thing at one time. When you are working you can always have your favorite musalal playing in the background. ( yes it is in turkish and you only have learnt a few turkish words and you must keep clicking on muslal window when it sounds like things are getting intense) but anyhow you still can work and watch your musalsal. I can cook while i talk on the phone and reconnect with my friends. ( yes my phone is all sticky afterwards and smells like baharat but my friend is not upset anymore i didnt call her)

So what do i think about ? That is the question i keep asking my husband when he answers me ..   

when he says NOTHING. to me that is like the IMPOSSIBLE. the DREAM. how how how how ??

Then after that question is answered by " NOTHING"... the little suspicious inspector gadget in my head starts to wonder.. hmmmm .... is he thinking of something he doesnt want to share with me or is he really thinking of nothing.. what is it that he is thinking about. and then i start thinking of endless possibilities that will make me upset.. wa ba7rad ma3 7ali... * 7aradan mode activated

I want to learn the art of thinking of NOTHING.. i feel if i go into my brain for a walk there is a corner that has a continuous scene from an Egyptian movie where someone starts a fight either a wedding or coffee shop and people are hitting each other and throwing chairs at each other.... then i walk to another side of my brain you find a room full of crying babies and a panicking mother than is freaking out cause she is running out of breast milk... you walk along further you will find this negative person who will rethink of everything positive that has ever been said to ME and convincing me its not true and remembering everything negative that has been said and putting it on frames on the walls of my brain... 
Sad yet true.. 
Then you keep going there is someone playing pingpong.. and then there is a chocolata.. there must be chocolata in my brain.. what else will you find in there.. 
ofcourse there is this TETA side of me that has to come up mostly when is sleep that recaps my whole day and what i said and did and she usually give me lectures like 

" LIESH ya TATA 3amalti hayk! ma ahbalek! kan lazim ta3mali hayk"

 the list goes on.. then i start to think of what i need to do.. not just tomorrow but in life!

its so funny my 5 year old came up to me and said..

 " Mama what do you want to be when you GROW UP?"

I said "i am grown up i am doing it!" she was confused maybe slightly disappointed that i am not a hairdress as she wants to be a hairdresser when she grows up .. haha

So anyhow.. when i think think think and cant sleep i might as well blog my brains out.. 

or keep trying to wake up my poor huszbandee haha

              GOOOD NIGHT! I HOPE!! 
           i hope i sleep..

uskot ya 7ajjeh khaleni anammmmm

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

I'm Blogging Again Lululee

Staring at a blank post.. thinking of what i will write about.. all i know is i want to blog again because blogging was part of who i was.. the me that i miss the me that i barely have come to recognize throughout the years.

I sit here trying to understand the inner workings and the experiences i have been through that have made me who i was and who i am now. i long for answers and explanations that i might never ever know. i want to be able to just with once click go back to the days where i blogged about my bagoora and to be able to able to write again from my heart without thinking to be able to make people laugh through my daily posts again.. so here i am trying to find that happy crazy blogging person inside me that seemed to be hiding under a pile of laundry and diapers and years of motherhood stress.

LAGETEKKKKK... so here i go.....

Let me share with you  some of my updates and some surprising changes in my life

 • I was finally able to overcome my weight issue by losing 15 KG *  and even though i was never really FAT to the point of tada7ruj on jabala duwera type cause im tall i was always chubby or at that stage where people say things like " weshek 7ilo" or " you are not fat you are MUJASSAmeh! or Malyaneh" what the hell does that mean? Mujasame? feels like im the terminator or a transformer.

I still love chocolata and will never EVA EVA give it Up... speaking of EVA tel3et EVA mitzawje RAYyyan Goosling il fe film LALALAND! that movie... akh bass. *heartmelts like chocolate fondant.. watched it 3 times in the cinema.. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!  *sings city of stars and trys to do tap dance move falls 3ala boozha

• I have new found love and respect for Hindi films. The drama, The Action.. the dance moves * dino does twisting light bulb move and kicks her feet and accidentally kicks down a side lamp in home center.. oh yes also i should not be dancing in public.

• my cooking skills have become more advanced i have moved from the stage of calling my best friend to come over before my husband arrives with a plate of kabse rice to making warra2 3inab and some really sophisticated tabkhaat that include making the 3ajeene from scratch.. and when someone tell me RAshet baharat.. i understand what they MEAN! before i used to say.. EISh ya3ni RASHET bhaar! Give me EXACT quantity.. * dina betrush bharat in the air with a smirky confident smile.

You can call me.. Chef DonDon.. * adjusts cooking hat

• I met a celebrity... yes.. i did.. and i think my huzband is very understanding for letting me express my LOVE! hahah He is also known as Baglawa fil 3alam il 3arabi.. i shall post a pic.. of me and before judging me.. i believe there is a stalker found in each an everyone of us.. mine seemed to be very evident in my stalker eyes on ET star news... i did not scream out loud like those other ladies.. i screamed on the inside .. i love burak and burak al jibne also

 also im hooked on a turkish series.. i used to make fun of people who watch turkish series.. but be careful what you make fun of.. cause that will be your future...

That a quick update for now.. i have to say i am so flattered and surprised when people i didn't know read my blog silenty for years! Thank you for reading my habalations.. :)