Feelings..te ra ra.. nothing more than feelings

Feelings. Or lack of feelings. Too much feelings that are unexplained or feelings that don't make sense.  Feeling unworthy or unappreciated, disappointed, happy, content. Feeling angry. Feeling sad.

 We experience so many feelings everyday and we often don't realize that we don't even know what or why we are feeling the way we do. As we grow older and understand ourselves better we begin to understand that it is very important to know what you are feeling and why you are feeling the way you do to be able to control it. Just like any pain we feel in our body it is an ache that needs to be treated.

If we have a constant ache in our heart bottled up inside us it will not go away if we don't do anything about it. If we have serious attachment issues to people in our lives or that were in our lives we need to understand the source of this need of attachment because most likely everything we feel, even it might seem to be about the other person, it is mostly a feeling that comes from an inner NEED that WE have. It might actually not even have to do with that person.

  

Its like a baby that is used to sleeping only with a pacifier. One day they remove the pacifier and the baby has tantrums because he believes he can't sleep without it. He found comfort and to him this pacifier was what made him sleep. After a few days the baby will adjust to sleeping without it and soothing without it because in reality to sleep he doesn't need the pacifier. We deal with attachment issues from the day we are born. We cry when we leave the womb. We cry when we leave our parents. We cry when we lose our favorite blanket. Its endless.

Some people come in our lives and comfort us and give us the emotional support we need and one day we realize life moves on and that they can't be a part of our lives anymore and we might feel like that baby who just lost his pacifier or blanket and believe that we can only feel happiness and comfort with them in our lives or we can realize that our happens does not rely on their love or their existence in our lives. Appreciate the good memories and know that their presence in your life was essential to make you the person that you are and to teach you the lessons you have learned. I am thankful for those who have touched my life and my heart even if they broke it. 

    Most importantly know that your life is how it was meant to be and that Allah makes no mistakes and has chosen this life for you. Know that everything is for the best and for a reason that you might not understand sometimes but having faith in Allah's choices for you is what will give you comfort in your heart. 

As a parent we worry about our children and we protect them and we don't always give them what they want because we know what is best for them. They will have tantrums and they will have melt downs but in the end we make these choices to protect them and Allah has made our choice for us and whether or not we understand why things happened the way the did in our lives we need to believe it always for the best.

Al Hamdulilah :)

Shifting Focus

 The older we get the more life makes sense to us and the more we understand a lot of things. I want to share my experiences with you in hope that somehow i can help people who were in a place i was before find this clarity that i have found just recently.

 I know i am an emotional person and i am very sensitive and sometimes dramatic about how i feel and as the egyptians say can " 2a3mel min il 7aba 2oba". But what i also have become aware of is that i tend to focus on negative things in myself and that focus on the negative aspects of anything makes it hard to see the positive.

  I am aware of my self confidence issues and how i have lived my life as a people pleaser. I am aware of the many mistakes i have done throughout the years and mostly are caused by not knowing my self worth.

I realized that i measured my self worth by the way people treated me and by how much love i received from the people i care about it.

 Not feeling loved or feeling rejected only makes a person feel unworthy or not good enough.

I felt i needed to work to deserve someones love. I always felt the constant need to change something in myself to be GOOD ENOUGH.

I focused on all the negative things said to me and overlooked the many compliments and positives.

I focused on what i have no achieved rather than what i have.

I focused on what i did not have rather than many man things that i did.

I focused on the harsh words that were said to me in a moment of anger.

I focused on my many mistakes and regrets.

When we grow up you realize the world is not black or white.  People are not just GOOD or BAD.

Things are not just simple and most of the time things are too complicated to be simplified that way.

Sometimes a person can be holding a ROSE in their hand but are only focused on it's thorns.

Let's not let the thorns that hurt us take our attention from the many roses we have in our lives.

      There is no Black or White.. our lives are technicolored.

Focus on loving yourself and believing YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH and that no one should make you doubt that! Have you forgotten who made you ? ALLAH!! SWT! So you must be exactly the way you were meant to be!!

SHIFT your focus to the positive things in your life and the people in it and it will instantly get better.