Saturday, May 18, 2013

Turkish Bath Horror

So i havent been bloggin much.. i would love to blog more.. i would love to do alot of things more.. but    well life as a parent of two very naughty girls is not easy and there isnt much time to spare. and when there is time i am too lazy to type... but there is always an exception... i have to blog when i experience BIG shocking experiences... 

* if you are under the age of 18.. look away from this post cause it might get ugly hahaha

husbandee took us to our first family trip to TURKEY! up until this day Turkey to me was only a sanweesha of turkey and cheese.. or a MUSALSAL turkey.. i must admit thanks to my mother in law i am hooked on 2 turkish series now.. and whenever i am RELIEVEd that its OVER! that i finally finished the 19892893898 episode.. i find out there is SEASON 2 3 4 * ya lahweee

soo any hoooo... we went to turkey.. with two kids.. two stroller.. 3 bags & lots of Jnaan.. My comments on Turkey is that its a beautiful country.. weather is lovely.. ppl are friendly.. and well it made me wish i concentrated in History class as there was so much History in ISTANBUL!

And if you think its only the turkish series that are 7abeebeh wa Laveeveh you havent seend Turkish ppl in real life.. Kolo fish 7asheesh be7eb il taani.. Couples everywhere holding hands, heads in each others laps fel 7asheesh*dino stares at ppl expressing thier love and feel she is in musalsal.
* ppl give her a look that she should stop staring

as i tweeted before i wish there was a DAblajeh button where i press it and everyone around me is suddenly speaking Syrian :S But anyway balad 7abeeeb... m7ajabat mush m7ajabat kolo love love love ..  zay muhanad wa noor wa hakaza

Dogs there seemed drugged though for some reason all the dogs there are always sleeping or about to sleep!

But i must ask the Turkish BEOBOLS.. Why why dont you speak a little bit of english.. ya3ni keef keef ballahi can i explain i want to buy" BAMBARZ" to wa7ad befhamsh english or arabic

* man stares at dina as she acts out the word KAKA.. :S ok ok i didnt but i was abt to!

So.. they hardly speak english or arabic other than the word " Tanzeelat Tanzeelat"

The Country is not Children friendly which is why i believe they LOVE kids because there arent much kids in the streets. I think ppl there dont bother leaving the house with thier kids because its just TOO HECTIC

* dino pushes stroller on rocky roads.. carries them up stairs with husbandii.. * kids head wobbling up i seriously was worried if there was any IRTIJAAAJ fil mukh! long days of sitting in a very bumpy stroller ride.. lulu was kind of cranky and did a huge tantrum in AYA SOFIA.. well when she grows up and studies it in school i will tell her.. MAMA we took you there and your screams echoed inside!

*dino tries to calm her down by pointing at the calligraphy.. Shoofi ya mama.. haada maktoob min alaaaafff il sineeen hahhhaha yeahhhhh that worked KTEeeer ( sarcasm)

After spending 3 days in IStanbul we went to ANTALYA... another plane ride only this time with a bus ride to the plane and my poor ba3li had to carry both strollers to the bus.. wasnt a long flight though and was worth it! Antalya is beautiful..

So now we get to the main event... *drums roll.. Jowzi al 3azeez saw how stressed i was and offered to let me get a turksih bath and massage in the hotel.. at that moment i thought.. YA SALAM.. relaxation. i envisioned candles and relaxing music .. skin shining with nathafeh...

So i go up to the Spa.. to a lady who ofcourse speaks no words of 3anglish..
I understood from her sign language that i should get ready.. i pointed out that sharafi ma besma7 that i wear only my birth suit.. and at that moment i thought she understood...

holding on to my towel like it was sharaf il 3eileh i walk with her to the turkish bath ghurfeh.. and once we walked i saw..... * twitches... agool wala ma agooollllll

OLD Naked Ladies... Fat Old Naked Ladies... sitting there like its OKAY.. Chatting along ... with things hanging and at that moment i wanted to run out.. but it was too late....

and the rest i cannot say.. all i can say is... it was not in my hands.. actually the towel WAS in my hands.. then it wasnt * cries hysterically and hugs knees...

hatha kowm wil  MASSAGE kowm... i forgot i cant really blog about this... its an experience i dont think ill Get over..

Sharaf il 3eileh..... daa3 daa3 hahhahaha

here is an additional video from Turkey... pls notice my tasweer il video clip.. ahaha


Haitham Jafar said...

يخرب فنك
أي صدقي الفرق بين الجنون و العبقرية مش شعرة .. نانو شعرة و انتي بتتأرجحي بينهما


wait, wait! That was a compliment,, it waaaas (too late,, shibshib has hit the forehead) :(


wain l video! u know ,, taba3 l +18!
we demand (أصوات الجماهير الهادرة تزأر بالموافقة)
AYA SOFIA = ؟ معلش.. اعذري جهل شعوب القوقاز
عملت عمو جوجل سيرتش طلعلي مسجد و كنيسة سوا!
شو بالنسبة؟
مساج و حمام تركي / شامي = و لا يمكن أفتهم! بلا ريلاكسايشن بلا بطيخ!

2 لولوز الله يعينهم
بس أكيد إلا ما انبسطوا
there r dogs in Turkey! بطلت أهاجر
أخوي راح شهر البصل هناك قبل سنة أو سنتين ,, مش متذكر!
أو 10 أيام

و انبسطوا بس نفس ملاحظات ال
lovveee lovvee 7obby 7obby
إشارب و حجاب أو بدونه

ما يخالف!

الحمد لله على السلامة
و أيييييييييييييي مرة ثانية

و بنستنا المقاطع ال +18
(winks o kaza)
rcvs his 2nd bump!
** بلاها من المسلسلات
all together

جد بحكي

ابدي ببيتك و ارفضي المتابعة و بعدين
انتقلي لشخص ثان و هكزا

-ما عدا حماتك- *تحذير* هههههههههههههه بصراحة من قبل كم سنة و أنا متقلعط من ال(غزو) التركي
ما عنا تلفزيون و قرفنا من كثر التفاصيل و اللعي!

على كل

إنو نصيحة من عمو هيثم

ما حكيتيلنا عن مساهمتك في تقليص عجز المديونية التركية بالتسوق الهوسي اللي عملتيه
*ducks, avoids the mikwayeah (was it on?!) and flees*

Anonymous said...

LOOL I hear you! I always get invitations from friends to go to Trukish baths but nooo thank you, even when I went to Morocco, it's a big thing there and everyone goes, but I would pass. It's just weird :s

Glad you enjoyed Turkey, I see why so many people go there on honeymoon (other than being accessible) kolloh be7eb fi ba3do lol I'm planning on going there but with friends, singles ya3ni, you recommend wella la2? :p

Rita Riordan said...

Fat old lumpy lady...yes, that would be me! I remember seeing such when I was about 26 years old and thinking: "THAT will never be what I will look like!" Alas, THAT is what I DO look like.

lana diab said...

الحمد لله على السلامة من السفر و الصدمة الثقافية لووووول

بس طول الوقت عم بتخيل الرحلة مع طفلين ! ما اتوقع اني اكون بهالشجاعة يوما ما !
وبالنسبة للمسلسلات التركية بتعملي غثياااااااااااان و بعملي غثيان اكتر موضة الحجاب اللي صارت بعمان عند بعض بنات انو حجاب تركي!
بالنسبة للكلاب هيك ما شجعتيني ازور تركيا ابدا!! فوبيا من جميع الحيوانات انا عندي!

اما بالنسبة لصدمة عمرك و حياتك بالحمام التركي فانا انصدمتها من 4 سنين لما صاحبيتي اهدتني يووووووووم كامل في حمام تركي بس هون بعمان بمناسبة عرسي و لهلاء مصدومة لووووول

تحشيش انتي عفكرة !

Dino$ said...

I enjoy ur comments ili la7alha posts I have a friend that says she loves ur comments on my blog and looks fwd to reading themm.. video gaal... u are asking if I recorded something that I wish to erase from my memory.. believe me.. u did not want to seee what I saw *twitches

Sings um kalthoom
*ili shuftoh.. ili shuftoh

Aya sofia darasnaha fel madraseh wa idhi muhim wa mush 7atfas'han wa send u ma3loomat. Sl barake fe google.. wa hay my blog mufeeed be3alim il naas il jaahleen lol

The dogs in turkey r harmless. . Bas naymeen.. they will not hurt u ir bark at u unless ur a bird thats stealing thier water.

Yes ma3 kol al ta3ab akeed inbasatna Al Hamdulila.

Dino$ said...

Shatra.. always say noooooo.. mnee7 ma sarli phobia min il baths kolha

I cant speak for all of turkey but istanbul is great for athaar and bazars. Historical jiddan.

Antalya more on the nature side. Lovely seeing. Brings out the artist in you. Inspirational nature that's so nice u want to get a canvas and sketch or paint.

But overall its a nice place to go especially as a Muslim arab they feel like garaybna only they dont speak our language :) we r very similar

Aham she no kids or strollers ull enjoy it ;)

Dino$ said...

Dear Rita.. I do not mean to be offensive.. its not that im making fun of them like im never going to look like that. Im already getting there hahaha its just I feel blubber and nakedness is something we should not share with each other. I believe in hiding your lumpiness will bring others happiness :p

Dino$ said...

Hjab tutkey fe amman?? Really ma 7ada qali. . Malo il hjab il turkey?.

Yom kamel? A whole day in a turkish bath? Na2e3??? Hahahah thats hilarious. . Did u ever recover from it? Ana one hour wa *twitches

Haitham Jafar said...

no videos! wala 7atta onoonih video (ya3ny one!) meen l jahel hassa3! mosh 3arfeh # 1 7adretik :P

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Allah!

yr replies r as hilarious dino, I think u scared away all prospect visitors to turkey :P

Dino$ said...

Yeh that was not my intention at all haat arage3 *dinos husband giving her a disappointed look
*3asi il hilanis yaaa naker al ma3roof playing in the background.

3an jad it was fun. The simplicity in life there. Walking around with men pullibg carts selling corn and chesnuts and healthy snacks.

There was a cart of khyaar. Lots of fresh orange juice in the street and ofcourse. Drinking turkish tea as you look at the horizon and admire khil2et rabna. Really beautiful.

Ofcourse you will find ka3k everywhere you walk and I felt I was in a turkush musalsal walking in the streets of istanbul.

I will post a video I recoreded... and no haitham not That video

Throws shibshib

Haitham Jafar said...

me need no videos (anymooz) ya3ny more >> :P

3asi l 7illany ruined it ALL for me, ehe2 ehe2 :)


don`t ever delete yr posts, if u decide to print them out for 2 loloz to read :)
I`m me I is extremely very absolo6ly serious :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Haitham Jafar said...

لويش يعني


و لا بيوصلني سبام/سخام أنا!

لازم أحط بوست عن حمامات عامة و أحط صور شبه خليعة مشان أنشهر يعنيّ

not fair
wala 7atta lovely!

Haitham Jafar said...

مني منك بنزل انتخابات!

حزب ال


انهلكنا نوتيفيكايشنز! :)

Dino$ said...

Sah!!!! Eish hal 3affan

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