Unanswered Questions

Been so long since I blogged.. I feel over the years my blogs have taken a more serious and sadder tone. The older we get the more things we face the harder and the more complicated life seems. We go on a path of trying to get to know ourselves and trying to figure out who we really are.. what we are meant to do in this life... we lose many dear people in our life to death or we part ways for various reasons.

 I thought by now I would have my answers but I only have more and more unanswered questions that I think I might not even get the answer to. I long to fill this void in my life yet trying so hard an failing is emotionally exhausting.

I have decided to accept that I might die before understanding this life and why things happened the way they did. I long for that inner peace. After many different kinds of therapy including hypontherapy and some sound healing with a lady banging on something that seems like 6anajer to me.

 I have found that the more we dig into our past the more mess we make in our lives. I no longer want to dig into my past traumas trying to find answers and I prefer to keep it all buried in my heart. accept that life is much bigger than me and that it's us that complicate things so much. Life is actually much simpler than we make it. Some questions are better left unanswered. 

I will focus on the endless blessings we have every single day. A kiss or a hug from my daughters. laughing with friends till we cry. Sound of the waves. A beautiful sunset. Memories imprinted in my heart. Helping others in everyday I can. Spreading joy and smiles and maybe sometimes yummy food. Knowing that even though sometimes I don't love myself that I am loved. I am surrounded by love and so many blessings and that Allah did not create us in this world to suffer ..yet pain is part of this life and if we didn't feel this deep pain we would not appreciate all the good in our lives. I am thankful for the pain because it made me who I am today. I am thankful for it because it made me wise and made me reevaluate my life. I will be less hard on myself for the mistakes I made and I accept I will still always make mistakes. Im only human and I am on my own journey and no one on their earth has the same exact journey as mine. We all are unique and we all are here for a purpose whether we know it or not. Knowing that even if I don't know it that God has already planned everything for us and that everything is the way it is meant to be.

I pray I and whoever is reading this find that inner peace they need.