Segreg@tion Mode

Have u ever felt the need to be alone? A need to just to have ur space. I usually get that need when im not happy or just simply depressed.. i hate going out or seeing people... laughin when its not really from my heart...

So.. why am i unhappy u ask? hmm hadmulilah i have my health my family a good job lots of friends.. i really dont want to say im unhappy... but its just those moments of plain emptiness when you feel ur life is passing you by and your not where you thought you would be.. and things arent going as you planned... i think its a phase.. it will pass..

i feel an emptiness in my heart..in my soul.. *sigh

not even a bar of chocolate filled that space!

Im $ick @gaiN

i didnt go to work... wish i enjoyed this day i took off.. but i didnt go cause im sick... spent the day in bed.... everytime i leave bed i feel my body is magnetically drawn back to it! i think tis food poisoning again... my advice dont eat any chicken.. especially not from fast food restaurants...

just talkin abt it gives me a pukey feeling....

at least i have time to blog today lol.. so i went to a restaurant the other day and i broke a glass... and i have to mention that i ALWAYS break cups in restuarants .... its like a thing i do.. not intentionally ofcourse .. soo embarassing but i walk and i dont pay attention...

reminds me of the time i tripped on my own foot! HAVE U ever met anyone who TRIPS ON THIER OWN FOOT?! LOL i mean how did it get in the way!? well i was nervous that day planning not to fall... guess i planned too hard... got the reverese effect...

i better go back to bed...

The FUTurE

So.. today i was sitting with my friends and we started asking each other all sort of questions like " do u see me married?" .. i dont see myself married... at least not any time soon cause to me marraige means love and commitement and knowing the person really well... feelign he completes me.. that i cnt live without him... ofcoure he has to be tall and understanding and FUNNY!! slowly i get the feeling he doesnt exist... so anyhow... i dont see myself married but i expected that ppl do.. i was surprised that most my friends say they dont see me married!! :(-- they say no one is good enough or that no one can keep up with my craziness!!

Then someone mentioned how me being hyper and over cheerful all the time is just a reflection of my inner emptiness and sadness!! is that true!! That to be truely happy i need to be in love and loved... i thought it wasnt true but maybe a part of me is sad because it feels the need to settle down and be with someone who fills the emptiness in my life...

I do feel happy.. yet i know that maybe there is a certain happiness i havent felt yet.. the happiness of finding that one person who will make me whole.. *sigh..... where art thou my laffffffff ...

ne way 2moro is work,, really am not in the mood.. weekends go by soo fast and i didnt even do anything... arghhhhh so annoyed.... !! Suddenly im not all cheerful... *sigh

AnnoYing Moment$!!

Do you ever have those moments in time where ur put in a certain situation and u react in the wrong way.. or say the wrong things and after that you think of the best things to say and WISH U said somethin else?!

well... listen to this... i was called up by some radio station the other day !! and ofcourse i was surprised... and i didnt know what to say.. think i sounded like a retard.. ne way... it was a quick call... unexpected.. yet i managed to sound like a total airhead!! So now my craziness is known to all uae! hehe i guess ill get over it!!

Those moments when ur head just goes BLANK! And u hear urself speak and u dont even realize what u said!!! AAAAAAAAH! i dunno what i said... it was just a horrifying experience and for the rest of my life i will think of the many endless possibilies of things i could of SAID!!!

wish we could format some memories... or even just rewind and redo things!!!

why does this always happen to me? i always blurt out things and then afterwards i think ...
OH NOOOOOOOOOOO what did i say!!!!!

Think before u speak Dino!!!!!! hmmm I try... but usually i speak then i end up thinking abt the silly things i SAY!!!!! lol

BlinG BlinG!!

I GOT MY FIRST CHECK!! WOooooo Hoooo! still is not a reality to me... since its just numbers on a piece of paper! but well soon ill cash it and SPEND IT! without feeling GUiLTY! without hearing those lectures about " money is not found on trees" ! or "where did ur money go"!!

So... been dead tired.. havent been doin much lately but work work work.... in traffic evryday i notice how everyone has thier own thing goin on..its very entertaining and FUN!
id see some guy picking his nose... another having a fight with his wife.. another singing along to a song without realizing how silly he looks.. another guy dozing off.. another women fiXing her makeup... some sleezy guy with a tinted window trying to give u his number... another lady is overexcited talkin on the phone... some guy eating a sandwich so fast that u wonder how he could have finished it in 2 bites!! life... oh life... and if u see a hijjabi in car probably lost somewhere.... u don t have to wonder who it is.. its definitely me!!

anyway... what is up with people hintin that now that am gettin my salary i need to buy them gifts or spend it on them.. emm emm.. is that a must? lets see.. if i get everyone who mentioned somethin like that somethin i will not only have spent the salary i would have taken some extra cash from my dad! hehe ok ok .. ill get u all shawermas! hehe