Okay this is one of my rather serious philosophical posts so just skip it if u dont like such posts. So i have been thinking a lot about life and how we tend to change sometimes without even realizing we are changing and before you know it you are looking at yourself and thinking WHO AM I? what happened to the OLD ME?! And no matter how hard you try to reach the person you were, its just not happening.
time passes and the old you is more and more intangible. like a faint memory that you yourself doubt was real.
I was sitting the other day while lulu was sleeping in my lap. i noticed the floor needed cleaning and well not major major cleaning. a few little crumbs of za3tar here and there. i ws too lazy and said i will clean it later. then i dropped my pasta plate later on that day and oh my you cant ignore THAT! so i ended up mopping the whole floor.
why am i saying this? get to the point ya dino! yes yes okay...
i feel our heart starts out like a white floor. or carpet lets say. little sins may be little crumbs we think are insignificant and we ignore them because we think its a mess that we will eventually clean. with time if we dont clean these little crumbs or stains our heart will no longer be white and it will be harder to get it clean.
Sometimes we fall into huge sins that we either feel so bad about that we repent and our whole heart is cleansed. other ppl choose to ignore the big stains thinking its too late to clean anything right now cause the stain is probably never going to go away after so long. so they add more and more 6eeneh to it :S
i feel my heart needs major cleaning. with chlorox jiff anything :) and i hate how i get caught up in life and i forget the major thing we were brought here for. 3ibada ( worshipping) Allah in everything we do. We have to fix out niya ( intentions) in everything we do so that even bringing up a child is rewarded.
things are easier said than done. and i will inshala work hard on going back to the way i used to be and better inshala. Even when i miss a prayer, even when i dont wake up for fajr, God still blesses me everyday in everyway & all i can say is Al Hamdulila.
oh how i wish i could send my heart to to the drycleaners!
God is the most Merciful. AL Rahman Al Raheem.
Cant wait for Ramadan.
Allah yu3fu 3anna wa yihdeena