There is a thin line between being a mother and being a Monster.. i say that.. and i believe its true.. one moment your a loving mother that holding and cuddling your kids and tickling them and laughing and admiring their cuteness.. and then next you are screaming at the top of your lungs and saying and doing things you know you will regret minutes later.. you dont even recognize yourself!
I didn't know motherhood was so hard. And everyday the levels of stress get higher. I think of all the things i have done wrong and do wrong. Even Love is stressful.
After you are a mother, its unlike any love you ever knew. A selfless love. A love so strong that you would not hesitate in giving your life to your kids. Loving them so much that you want to give them everything they want. You want them to be the best and want them to be better than the rest. You want to protect them from the world and its pains. You want them to be healthy. You want them to be well raised and well mannered. You want a lot of lovely things for them.
You will FAIL in achieving all those wants. You might succeed in a few. And somehow you will sit there thinking of how you have failed yourself, your kids. Depressing thoughts cloud your mind and judgment. You start doing irrational things or get ANGRY. Sometimes angry at your kids for never listening to you. Angry at yourself for not getting it right.
Tired + Stressed + Nagging Child + Continuos Tantrums = DAMAR shaamel ( Ulitmate Destruction)
I used to think having one kid was hard. I was so wrong. I used to think i lost my mind before. Truth is now.. i REALLY lost my mind. I don't remember a thing. People have to repeat the same things to me 10000 times and still i wont be able to save it in my memory. I suffer from memory loss. oh how i wish i had WEIGHT loss! ahah
I know my kids are a blessing. I cant imagine my life without them. Just the thought that anything could ever happen to them ( b33ed il shar) makes my heart stop. Allah ye7meehum wa ykhalelna iyahum.
So i should not be complaining at all but motherhood is really tough.
Please If you ever see a stressed out mom. Dont judge her. just Hug her. she probably needs it!