I can't sleep,
shall i sit there and weep,
or shall i tweet a peep,
i choose to blog instead of counting sheep
So why can't i sleep?? Other than the fact that i had a 3 shot American Strong Coffee at around 6 pm & my Brain is on NONSTOP worrying and thinking mode. There is no moment of blank screen. i think i even have multiple dreams at the same time. Not once did i wake up with one dream. its like many screens playing at once and i sometimes even sleep walk and talk.
I am a multitasker.. that is me.. i am not saying i succeed in multitasking but i am saying that i feel there is not enough time in this life to just do one thing at one time. When you are working you can always have your favorite musalal playing in the background. ( yes it is in turkish and you only have learnt a few turkish words and you must keep clicking on muslal window when it sounds like things are getting intense) but anyhow you still can work and watch your musalsal. I can cook while i talk on the phone and reconnect with my friends. ( yes my phone is all sticky afterwards and smells like baharat but my friend is not upset anymore i didnt call her)
So what do i think about ? That is the question i keep asking my husband when he answers me ..
when he says NOTHING. to me that is like the IMPOSSIBLE. the DREAM. how how how how ??
Then after that question is answered by " NOTHING"... the little suspicious inspector gadget in my head starts to wonder.. hmmmm .... is he thinking of something he doesnt want to share with me or is he really thinking of nothing.. what is it that he is thinking about. and then i start thinking of endless possibilities that will make me upset.. wa ba7rad ma3 7ali... * 7aradan mode activated
I want to learn the art of thinking of NOTHING.. i feel if i go into my brain for a walk there is a corner that has a continuous scene from an Egyptian movie where someone starts a fight either a wedding or coffee shop and people are hitting each other and throwing chairs at each other.... then i walk to another side of my brain you find a room full of crying babies and a panicking mother than is freaking out cause she is running out of breast milk... you walk along further you will find this negative person who will rethink of everything positive that has ever been said to ME and convincing me its not true and remembering everything negative that has been said and putting it on frames on the walls of my brain...
Sad yet true..
Then you keep going there is someone playing pingpong.. and then there is a chocolata.. there must be chocolata in my brain.. what else will you find in there..
ofcourse there is this TETA side of me that has to come up mostly when is sleep that recaps my whole day and what i said and did and she usually give me lectures like
" LIESH ya TATA 3amalti hayk! ma ahbalek! kan lazim ta3mali hayk"
the list goes on.. then i start to think of what i need to do.. not just tomorrow but in life!
its so funny my 5 year old came up to me and said..
" Mama what do you want to be when you GROW UP?"
I said "i am grown up i am doing it!" she was confused maybe slightly disappointed that i am not a hairdress as she wants to be a hairdresser when she grows up .. haha
So anyhow.. when i think think think and cant sleep i might as well blog my brains out..
or keep trying to wake up my poor huszbandee haha
GOOOD NIGHT! I HOPE!!
i hope i sleep..
uskot ya 7ajjeh khaleni anammmmm