MY BABY IS GOING TO SCHOOL!

Today was a special DAY! Today was Lulu's FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! i cant believe my baby is now a BIG GIRL! We packed her Hello Kitty bag together with new colors and pencils and i was so excited i think i hardly slept! i was also worried i would oversleep! No more morning naps. No more lets go on a vacation whenever we feel like it! We have a girl in SCHOOL!

I dont think she understands what school is yet and today it was pretty much a day for orientation making lulu familiar with her classroom! The truth is.. I think its going to be harder on ME! Im so used to have her home in the morning. I know she gets bored and sometimes drives me INSANE! But i love having her home! I am not used to being away from her. Leaving her in a room full of people who are strange to her! Not checking up on her every 5 mins to know what she is doing! AAH.. I think its harder on a MOM !

She used to sleep in our bed for a long time. And when i finally taught her to sleep on her own i admit the first few nights were very HARD.. on me.. i missed her little hands squishing the kalabeez on my arms. I miss how her feet would suddenly be in my face! habeebti law law!

I remember she used to cry everytime i left the house when she was a little younger. Now i leave her with the nanny and she just says " ateeeni bosa, ateeni big hug" ( give me a kiss give me a big hug) and waves. She is okay. she doesnt cry anymore when i leave her with the nanny! And i admit a part of me was SO HAPPY that there are no more TANTRUMS every time i leave but another part of me was like of "OUCH". Does it mean you don't need me anymore? Do you love your nanny more than MAMA?!

* dino beats up nanny  cause she is jealous ahahah :P Just kidding 

I just cant believe how fast they grow. my little baby is going to school now.. 

awwww.. i gotta go sleep to GET UP EARLY! 

Happiness IS a Choice!

Happiness.. a feeling we all want to feel... yet many of us sometimes feel very unhappy. and it makes me wonder is it all in our Minds? if i decide to be happy? will i succeed? There are days the littlest things get to me and make me feel depressed and ruin my mood! and on other days no matter whats going on i dont let anything affect my jolly goofy mood!! Its not usually something major that makes me feel depressed its those little things but it always depends on my state of mind whether those things affect me or not.

so.. 

I asked myself. What makes me HAPPY?! When am i the happiest?! When was the last time i felt truly happy?Other than when i'm eating chocolatE!

i asked myself all sorts of questions that made me think deeply about the true meaning of happiness. 

Is it being Content? As Human Being i Feel we always ask for more.

Is it Being Fit? Im sure there are Fit people who are depressed 

Is it Being Popular? the more popular you are the more drama you will deal with

its like a viscous circle .. so many factors can lead to happiness but those same ones can also lead to intense depression. 

We start looking for answers, talking to therapists about our feelings. Some even take medication to be happier.

In the end of the day its all about what happiness is to you. 

To some people happiness is about materialistic things.. about money.. being rich.. all about the "Bling Bling" so no matter how much money they have they always want more... and are always finding somethin to complain about.

Once i saw this poor man who fixes shoes for a living sittin in the street.. seemed soo poor that he doesnt even have a place to stay... but i rememeber he sat there with the biggest smile on his face ! i felt like the silliest person on earth becuase i compared my troubles and worries to his.. i was speechless... he found his happiness in his faith in God...he seemed satisfied with his life and that is how he found his happiness...

On the other hand.. some people are simply psychotic! im not talking abt psychos like me .. i mean REAL psychos! People who watch the movie "fight club" and base thier lives on it.. who like the idea of physical pain! Whether its inflicted on themselves or on others! Those who find happiness by school shootings or others decide to be serial killers. In those cases its caused by intense psychological problems!i suggest THERAPY NOW
Lets not go into that... *Worries she will get those ppl mad and they will come after her..

Some ppl find happiness in food.. eating incessantly till they are obese and suffer from cholestrol and many other obesity consequences... Others find happiness getting drunk or high..

All that binge eating, drinking and drugs is just a temporary solution that gives the ILLUSION of happiness.. you happy as long as ur EATING that yummy fatty burger .soon that happiness will be replaced with guilt and regret and intense depression ...

 could lead to worse things like anorexia or bulimia... u end up munching on chips and chocolates.. binge eating ... then.. there is the after effect.. you feel that this is not what u want.. you want to lose weight but feel helpless.. again u resort to food for comfort...munching away your depression....only leads to more fat and even more depression!

People who are addicted to herione or any type of drug also have that same cycle somehow... they feel a certain type of rush.. a state of mind that is more like as they would put it....
" outta this world duude" type of happiness when they take drugs or when they get drunk.. but ofcourse they is always the

AFTER-EFFECT.....

this is temporary happiness.... right??

So... another thing that is commonmost ppl relate happiness to LOVE.. and having a LOVE life.. or MARRIAGE.. having kids and a family... like if your life is without love .. how can u be happy?!

 That i think is becuase of the mind pollution we see in movies and tv everyday.. even in cartoon there is always a prince and even in "Lady and the Tramp" you see this romantic macaronah scene!

 Everything seems to be abt love.. a movie starts with a normal girl.. no love life.. sittin at home with her pet cat..someone the viewer can relate to!! ofcourse the movie ends with her being with her hot neighbor/co-worker/the CRUSH somehow...simply we are brain washed! :S come on .. ok it does happen but that doesnt mean anything.. u can still be single and happy!! 

And even if you get married and your love takes a different form that no longer includes walks on the beach holding hands or lovely dovey stuff. its okay! you can still be happily married because love comes in many forms.

running to the pharmacy in the middle of the night to get you medicine 

Buying the type of bread you like to eat or a jar of nutella :P

taking your car to service, taking care of you and all the things you cant do on your own

Being there for each other. and so on..

Others find happiness in doin things they like doing like art,poetry,singing,skiing.. anything they love doing... Others in their job they feel they are making a difference in the world... i think each and every person has different criteria in their mind .. when this criteria is met they reach thier happiness... look at your list.. REVISE it and realize that those things you relate to happiness are NOT what will make u happy..
 happiness is in YOUR OWN HANDS ! 
instead of saying " ill never be happy unless i have kids" "or till i get married" " till im rich"
say al hamdulilah to what you have and know whatever you don't get in life you will get in the hereafter and that its all Gods Will.

you CAN be happy if u want to! just make that decision!!! ( i should have studied psychology)!

i personally feel we often depress ourselves by having goals in our head that we hoped for and are disappointed we didnt achieve them yet.. things we wanted that we didnt get.. dreams we had that never came true

people you met and thought would make the "PERFECT" husband or "WIFE" who said things like

" UR MY SISTER/BROTHER" or "IM GAY" hehe

life is full of disappointments.. and we dont always get what we want... and we dont always WANT what we get.. BUT its all in our head and in our hands

i personally have learnt to appreciate what i have.. and i beleive strongly everthing happens for a reason.. the bad and the good..sometimes its hard to see it.. but eventually u know that its all for the best.. i have decided to be on HAPPY mode and not to let anything get to me... its all in my mind.... its all in da membrane....

we shouldnt base our happiness on things that can easily go away or fade away in time.. the first step to being happy is loving yourself for who you are..appreciate the little things in life..

Give yourself a hug now *dino huggin self

husband walks in.. gives her a weird look and leaves the room

even if ur a couple of pounds overweight/underweight... even if ur not what you wanted to be.. guess what?!

ITS OK!!!!

Its not the end the world! 

Remember money gets spent, a man/woman can break your heart, good food makes you fat,drugs can kill you if not cholestrol does!!

Everything fades... everything but GOD... i find my true happiness in my faith in Allah... and i feel if you believe God is watching over you and that your part of a bigger plan God has planned for you ... then.. ull find INNER peace... and that to me is TRUE HAPPINESS .. i wouldnt mind a huge bowl of chocolate too heehee

التوكل على الله والثقة بالله

وكفى بالله وكيلا

i shall end your torture now.. و احاول اللخص الموضوع

but i have to admit chocolate does add to my happiness!!! yummy!

CONCLUSION

Happiness is a CONSCIOUS decision we make . Everyday YOU choose to be happy today or you choose to be miserable. Your action/reaction is determined by how you choose to perceive a situation or experience.

True happiness is a choice that YOU have to make. It is a state of being only you can create and to change your degree of happiness, change your expectations or ideas you have in your head that you have tied with the thought of being happy.

Be thankful for what you have, instead of comparing yourself to others and thinking  about what you lack.

 Be satisfied with what you have and say الحمدالله because im sure there are many looking at you and thinking they would love to have something that God has blessed you with.

When something bad happens don't blame it on everyone else. Happiness is about accepting responsibility for your actions and dealing with what comes your way. Its about accepting that even bad things happen for a reason.

First step to being happy is 

SMILE and wipe that kashra off ur face and you will find that your smile is contagious
How can you not smile knowing that YOU are in GODS HANDS?!

Its all in our HEAD!

speaking of head mine is about to explode from this happy talk!!

urs too im sure

wa Allah yes3dkom yamma 

Our Kids..Our Responsibility..Ya Lahwee

Everyday as a mom i feel i learn new things. I come to many realizations and maybe also many fears. I feel having children that copy your every move and look at you as their role model is both wonderful and scary. Its amazing to feel loved and admired and knowing that in their eyes you are PERFECT. Its scary because you KNOW you are far from perfect. You know you will make and have made a lot of mistakes already. I dont want them to grow up blaming me for not teaching them something or for not being the MOM i should have been.

I was tickling lina and making her laugh and talking to her and then 2 mins later lulu came and did the same thing. She even sounded like me. I didn't even realize i spoke in that tone. I also do this silly thing when i sneeze.. I sneeze. like this

ATCHOOOO -- HOO HO HO HOO <-- continue the sneeze into a song
 guess who does that now?
yes.. LAW LAW

 I feel lulus actions make me suddenly aware of my own. It made me reconsider everything i do. My way of life. My choice of food. Am i the best example ?
* someone in the crowd ma sada2 i asked this question
 yells :
  6ab3an LA2! ( ofcourse not) 
im like a walking disaster. 

I barely eat any veggies and fruits yet i try to feed them to lulu. That just one of my MANY mistakes. Things like this make me feel bad. I am setting a bad example. Its not what you tell your kids to do. its WHAT YOU DO that really counts!

How can we be mad at our kids for doing something that they learnt from us?

Its like now when lulu hears the adan. she runs and puts her prayer clothes on and stands up to pray. Its adorable and im glad i succeeded in setting at least one good example.

I am suddenly freaking out and worried that im a terrible mom. I look at  some moms who don't allow thier kids to have sweets or sugar. Moms who have strict rules in the house. I look at those kids who sit there quitely with all the best manners and realize OMG. WILL my kids ever be this POLITE ? WAS I EVER THAT POLITE?

I am guilty of laughing when my daughter farts. i try not to laugh as it should not be a laughing matter but I CANT HELP IT! but is so funny especially if its unexpected lol

and i laugh cause she yells " FASS" and now after she did that infront of many ppl i taught her to say " EXCUSE ME" 

now she says.. EXCUSE MEEEE EXCUSE 3amalt FASS :S 

So i know now when she starts school she will be sitting there in class and one day she will FART and ANNOUNCE it.. and they will think OMG where are this girls MANNERS?! and who do they point thier finger at?? 

UM UM FASS.. ME..

We now try to use the word " Bubbles" instead of " FASS" which i agree sound very vulgar and nawari.. hhaha oh and that i got from a friend of mine who uses it with her kids..

Still lulu does say " FE PP or FE KAKA.. and that should be..

*dina changes tone to ladylike voice " Fe NUNU"

khaleeni nkhales bubbles first then we move to NUNU

So in conclusion.. Its scary knowing that your kids are a reflection of you. When you see a kid spitting at another kid you think.. omg "ahlo ma rabooh" his parents didn't raise him well. Your kid will reflect you and they will imitate everything you do whether you are aware of it or not. I personally have decided to try to be the best version of me possible. Even it means adding a few more veggies in my diet. Even if it means reading more educational books. I want to be a good example because so far i have 2 chocoholic comedians in the house and that cant be good :P

Please check out this AD.. it shows you what im talking about. So true.. So sad.. 

So if you are a parent WATCH YOURSELF cause there is always a little person WATCHING YOU!

*does im watching you move from meet the folkers