Friday, April 13, 2007

Sad Friday

its the first friday without my dad being home... he has travelled before and i have not seen in in months sometimes but this is different.. i keep telling myself he travelled somewhere... but then reality crawls back into my head and i realize what has happened..

I think fridays are harder than any other days to cope with this.. since i hardly saw him except on friday.. he would always wake up early and then we would all have the "FRIDAY Ftooor" which usually includes Fool Farouq <-- FArouq is baba..

so... b4 that he would always love to go to carfour and get all sorts of food! he loves food wa iza FE any OFFER in the world he will get it.. if you take a look in our kitchen you find boxes and boxes of biscuits and chocolates... and probably no one has ever heard of them! And when we say " baba la meen kol haaad? ma 7ada ra7 yakloh!" he says " ANA bowkloh" :S

see a major reason he is where he is right now is how careless he was when it comes to food! he would eat all sorts of baskoot and BAGLAWA and tabeekh without even tryin to khafif!! :(--

Anyway.. i keep remembering the time he would come and ask me to go to carfeour with him or to any dicsount center and id refuse and say " ma fee ishi hnaak" or " mush jay 3ala bali"... it hurts so much when it finally occurs to me that it was never about those discount centers.. it was his way of asking me to spend time with him..

whats even sadder is that now when i go and talk to him... i find my tongue tied and i feel like i cant say anything.. the same feeling i got when he was awake.. i want to tell him how i feel.. how i miss him.. how sad i am when i go home without him here.. how i am sorry i wasnt the best daughter... and all i can say is " baba ana hown"

we sense he can hear us.. he blinks when we talk to him and i feel inshala with all those prayers he will recover .. YA RAB....

13 comments:

Qwaider قويدر said...

Insha2allah, Ya rab. He will once again take you out shopping and you will enjoy his company.
Don't lose hope and don't lose the faith. He will regain his health insha2allah and will once again make Foul Farouq for the family. Insha2allah
You reminded me of foul Seedo el 3ajeeb. (Seedo is my father, but that's how my nephews and nieces call it) Fool seedo el 3ajeeb...
Insha2allah, your children will be calling Fool Farouq, Fool seedo el 3ajeeb.

May allah always be with you and your family.

kinzi said...

Nido, sweetie, you can still spend time with him now, maybe it is even more important NOW to just sit and hold his hand and say "Bab, ana hown". I am still praying for the mercy of God for full recovery, and ofr comfort for your family.

MQabbani said...

stay next to him , and be strong he need that ..

nido said...

Stay strong, and I believe he can really hear you!
Talking about your father, reminds me of myself, I was the same back home, he'd ask me over and over again to go out shopping for khodrah with him, and I'd always have excuses:( I know how bad it feels now...I pray for him, and my husband does too!
let it out Dino, and you'll make a big change in our lives! I -now- msg my parents every morning, telling them how much I love them and miss them...
Allah yi2awmo bissalameh:)

sky said...

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I read your blog regularly and am always amused by your stories; this must be a really trying time for you, but you seem like a strong woman.
I hope you have the strength and courage to deal with this, and I sincerely wish your father a speedy recovery.

Cata said...

Dina..

It's true that facts talk by themselves, but to express our fellings with words is very important and necessary too, mostly to our dearest people.

Why don't you tell your dad how much you love him and how much you are missing him? it will make him happy and i think you will feel better too..

Summer said...

I came here to read good news about your father...alhamdulillah for everything.
i wish him quick recovery.
stop beating on yourself...he loves you and i am sure he knows that you love him too.
in times like these you do not need to blame yourself for not being around for him or feeling guilty.
i assure you, parents love their children no matter what and they know that the kids always mean well and do not try to make them feel ignored in anyway, it is just lack of experience and knowledge how parents feel...childern do not realize that only at hard times like these. get rid of your guilty feelings and have faith that he will recover and be there for you on your wedding day inshallah!

Oriental Arabesque said...

Your genuine words brought tears to my eyes wallah!
Your post is a great reminder for me and for everyone to take every chance and use every second to express our love and admiration to our parents before it’s too late and before we regret it.

Whenever I get a bit busy and spend a day or two without really seeing my mom or spending quality time with her, I feel bad and try to make it up by any way. Whenever she leaves to work in the morning and I remember that I didn’t give her a kiss before she left I feel bad and hope that I will see her again in the afternoon to kiss her. I don’t know why I started to have some silly thoughts lately when something like that happens and I keep on asking God to return her home safe (I keep on thinking enu inshallah ma yseerlha shee today, i'll feel guilty for the rest of my life!!!)
Maybe because we're realizing that our parents are getting older, and there health is just not like before.

May God bless them all, and Allah yeshfii your dad and yraj3o la baito bil salameh
:-)

Anonymous said...

Hope things will turn out well :).

S E C R E T. said...

I really do hope your father get will soon enshallah , coz i know what that feels like !!! i understand and feel each word you wrote their , I've been thru it myself and i thank god my father is among us today.
being able to talk to him again and having him back well and recuperated to us is such a blessing .
and i hope that happens to your daddy , FROM ALL MY HEART !

Tamara said...

He will recover soon inshala, keep strong

palo-girl said...

ya rab... a7san shee oltee..
Allah bi3een inshallah

Flower^Angel said...

inshallah ya rab he will recover soon & comes out of the coma :)