ANOTHER AAAAAAAH

ok... yes im relaxed but i need to VENT... list is still way above the limit... all im getting is ppl saying " NO ONE WILL MISS YOUR WEDDING".... ( that was supposed toe ba comforting thought ? : lol what happened to "invite 200 ppl and 100 will show up" lol im kidding if i invited u i wish you can make it... bindabirlkum ma7al ba3teekum my chair kaman... ill keep the 3arees :P

anyway... i would love that everyone i know be there including the bloggers but walllahi its small so if ur not invited its just because its not even a wedding its a small dinner...

anyway... soo i went to the visa consulate today... after getting lost for an hour ofcourse.... jsut to find out that thialand is celebrating some thialand holiday and decide to take 2 days off! the 2 days i had planned on applying for the visa.. so another PLAN of the day RUINED! AAAAAAAH

then i get a call.. from a weird number.. and usually that is not good...

ALo...
ALoo

miss X:Dina?
MOI :AAH
Miss X:Inti madam wala 2anseh
*dino thinking to herself...this is a wrong time for anti's with 3irsan offers
Dina :MAdam... khier?
aah ana baddee 2ilieek ino il ra7 ta3malik sha3ratik fil 3urs saafarit 3omra and ana ra7 2a3milik iyaham...

me HUH? safarat? meen? wayn? who are you?

so the lady who i had booked to do my hair for the non hijabi pics decided to go for 3omra.. now i have this other person who i have no idea about...

anyway... what the worst that can happen? she could easily decide to TRIM my hair and make tisreee7aaaaaaaaaa "ra2i3a" with meeeeesh and weird 7ashwat in the hair... making me look like im part of " cirque de soleil"

i hate it when salon ladies think they know what you want and end up ruining your hair!! or when you say bidi LIGHT MAKE UP.. like INVISIBLE makeup.. the make up that you have to wonder if its REALLY THERE.. she says.. "eh eh ma inti 3arooooooooooooooos lazim makeup 3ashan iltasweer "and before u know it your face looks like a VAN GOGH painting 3alas shwayait zahrat al khaleeej style!!!

yes u said it TASWEER not being spotted through a SATELLITE from outer space! ya3ni all my life i have taken pics... and they look fine ( expect for a few where i have werid facial expressions" but how come yowm il 3urs your makeup has to be INTENSE as in layers and layers.. :P have u girlies out there noticed how when a salon find out u are a bride they charge u extra!! like ok.. how much is hair styling... 200 ok yes ok so will u adjust the tar7a for me.. : oohh Tar7a lala il tisree7a ta3it il 3aroos is 1500!! if not 3000!! HELLO its the same freakin tisree7a?!?!!

ARGH.... 7arameyeen il nass sayreen!!

anyway...i will not let some lady turn my face into merlin manson..i will do do everything my way.... and btw when it comes to makeup LESS IS MORE PEOPLE LOL

ANyway.. then i get a call from my cousin who is coming from amman today... and well.. guess what SHE MISSED HER FLIGHT.. and now she is taking a later flight... which somehow stresses me out more..

sho kaman???? I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED VALIUM.. thanks for your comment forgive me for not replying im just like my cousin said " ur probably running around like a headless chicken" lol

Soo true... :P

today is over so i have 2moro and after wa BASS!! hope there are no last minutre mishaps or surprises.. i hope i dont trip.. since we ARE going up STAIRS.. i hope i dont spill juice on ahmed.. i hope i dont step on the litte girl who will be throwing flowers inforont of me.. i hope i dont step on ahmeds feet when we dance! i hope that my wedding will be perfect... as soon as i have time ill post all the wedding stuff i did!! :) i had the cartoon on the wedding invitation :)

thanks for all ur support guys

Allah yis3idkum

2 DAYS LEFT!!!

let me start by saying....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now let me just quickly type this before i run out of the house being the bridezilla that i am!!

wedding was supposed to be 100 to 110 people max.... when i went through the list of invited people ( who probably WILL come) 140 PEOPLE!!!! some MINI-Miscalculation!!

or lets say MAJOR miscalculation!

dina : mama how many ppl are your list
mama : ma bitla3ooosh 20 30 maximnum
dina: mama akeed? akeed? 3ashan ba3zim naas kman
mama: aaah aaah

*dina invites more people ( including some who didn't invite her to their own wedding which she regrets very deeply now) lol

later on that day... counting list.... AAAAAAAAH 140.. 30 ppl must stick to the dance floor.. wait.. there is not much dance floor... there is not DANCING lol
ok i guess 30 ppl must just come sit by me and ahmed

anyway... ofcourse im getting not only lovely spots on my FACE but i feel sick and have a major COLD today!! 2 DAYS usually pass by quickly in the normal days you can imagine how FAST they will pass by when u are GETTING MARRIED

IM GETTING MARRIED!! ME ? DINA? pls keep telling me because the thought is not sinking in ... its soo weird... not bad weird.. not twilight zone weird.. just weird..

i wonder what embarrassing things i will do when the cameras are pointed at me for 3 hours.. all my experiences with video cameras and being taped include major embarrassment ! because i tend to do many faces when i talk .. like very expressive faces... that i dont even realize im doing... and when im nervous i SMILE.. like that major signal 2 smile... ok smiling is good but overdoing the smile is just :S GOOFY!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GOTTA RUN VISA TIME

ID3ooooooooooooooooooooolna

The Countdown HAS BEGUN

So... on a less depressing note... i'm getting married ( INSHALA ) :)

irdaa al nasss ghaya la tudrak... so whatever i do... or don't do... i will always here criticism complaints and negative comments... been driving myself mad trying to think of how to make everyone happy... including myself.. and well.. that is not exactly possible...

yes dad is still recovering and his recovery will take months.. even years... some suggested i wait for a couple of years before i get married.. others said i should not even wear a white dress... people said all sorts of things.. and what i have to say is that.. AL hamdulilah baba is ALIVE... he will be better with time inshala...

it's been around 5 months now and having a small wedding dinner does not mean i'm selfish.. it does not mean i don't care about my dad's current situation.. it just means life goes on and i know if was able to speak he would be the first to tell me to go on with this...

i am sad because i will not have the dream of him walking me down the aisle... but la i3tirad 3aala qada2 Allah... wa i still want what every girl lives her whole life dreaming of... a BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DAY...


INshala all goes well.. 6 DAYS left....

the thought that im going to a wedding where im THE BRIDE is just not sinking in :S

cow is also stressed with me! Allah ytamem 3ala khier

i miss you

dear baba..

i miss you... your loud voice... your loud cough when you enter the house.. your friday breakfasts & grocery shopping "outing"...the many awkard silences we had... i miss the way you used to express your love by making us never need anything... you had a bad temper and sometimes yelled for no reason.. but behind that roar was a soft heart...

you were my shield...my security... you protected us from the cruelty of the world and to me although we didn't bond much i knew i could count on you.. i knew you would be there... i knew you would take care of us... what i didn't know is that i took your presence in my life for granted.. i wouldn't make any effort to get closer to you... i didn't express what i felt because throughout the years it became even harder for me to express my feelings to you... you confused strength & pride with expressing your feelings.. to you expressing love was a weakness... which is why there was this unbreakable barrier between us... to save myself from feeling rejected by you i also pushed you away and created my own barrier without even noticing...

i never knew tears could flow down your cheeks without you even realizing they are... i never knew pain could be so intense that it feels like it has become a part of you... i never thought i would feel this much regret in my life.. i never imagined this could happen to you...

i can't believe this is your reality... i can't bare to see you like this... i'm so sorry if i wasn't the best daughter.. if i didn't appreciate you... im so sorry i am selfish sometimes... i'm sorry i can't say anything to you when i see you...

i just miss you & hate my life without you...

Cow Appreciation Day!!

Today is not any day... it is... COW APPRECIATION DAY.. so people... if you come across a cow... give it some lovin'

:) a hug... a massage... a facial... just be good to all cows today :) Eat your burgers 2moro :)

BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK

you know recently i have realized that i have this strange ability to block things... i think its a blessing.. like i have a built in firewall that only accepts certain thoughts and blocks others...

this firewall works almost all the time... but there are moments.. it suddenly shuts down and i'm overwhelmed with those thoughts i had blocked and i feel like i am going to burst into tears.. and sometimes i do.. and people around me would look at me weird and think .. wasn't she fine just a second ago... well.. just cause i don't express what i feel doesn't mean i don't feel it..

my bagara has been a great help and keeps dancing in her new leopard outfit singing lurpak songs...

anyway... i don't think i'll ever get over how my dad is now... and i'll never understand what happened to him... i can't imagine that he might not ever be the same.. i can't imagine how he feels... it hurts so much that blocking this reality is what keeps me okay..

some things don't get easier by time.. the only thing that gets easier is blocking...


ok... too much nakad for one day...

after all this time just when we thought baba was getting better and moved out of the ICU.. he went back in last night... they might get him out today.. inshala khier... its so hard to deal with things especially when you have high hopes... then suddenly you are back to square one..

Allah Ysabirna wa yishfee :(

PIANIST NEEDED

hello readers... i am looking for someone who is good piano player that will play the piano for 2 hours in my wedding dinner (not for free ofcourse )... if you know anyone or are a pianist and ofcourse are interested leave me a comment and i will be so grateful...

:) i had to give it a shot.. you never know who reads your blog :)

next cartoon is coming soon im going through wedding stress again... less than a month left... so much to do...

*SCREAM

Cow'$ Update$

i know most of you are fans of my cow.. and well i havent updated you on her life for a while.. she was fired from her last job because her inability to read or write was a major requirement :S so now she has started her new job as a house maid! :S

she mentioned that the couple that live there usually argue about the same thing...the fact that they are so different.. when i say different i'm not saying as individuals but as "MALES &FEMALES" and she felt the wife would always be talking all day... asking her husband & reminding him to get things done.. telling him the littlest details in her day... telling him her thoughts and feelings... while the husband would nod and might even doze off & get sick of her endless blabbing..

so i had to explain to cow some things i realized about males & females :

Woman think completely different than MEN.. what is so obvious to a woman does not usually occur to a man.. what WE think is the first thing that comes to our mind is the last that comes to theirs.. we feel talk IS communication... men feel talking must have a purpose... "give me a problem ill solve it " type of thing... Women think they are simple when they are so complex... men think they are complex when in reality they are really simple & easy to understand if you knew them well... Men are like big babies...

Conclusion is... MEN & Woman have had and will always have their differences.. that's how they were created... it shouldn't be a problem if they learn about those differences and adjust to them... if you are stubborn and so close minded thinking you are right & the other person is wrong.. things will definitely get worse...

its not about who is right or wrong.. or who wins... or even who is the strong one in the relationship.. its all about sacrifices... respecting & understanding each other.. loving each other without boundaries or limits...


p.s. cow slept by the end of this conversation :P