Saturday, August 25, 2012

What Do I WANT? شو بدي؟



What do you want? a question i am asked at least once daily. When i'm in a restaurant about to order food. When i'm home and my husband asks me " what do you want to do today?" 

Everyday i hear this question  over and over and even when its for the simplest things like whether or not i want pickles in my shawerma, whether i want the mcchicken sandwich to be spicy or regular. Even in the simplest situations i always am hesitant i feel i DONT know what i WANT! I am so INDECISIVE it drives me mad and other ppl as well. and i feel it has gotten worse lately.

 I am so used to being okay with everything and going with the flow that i have reached a point where i DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT! Having a CHOICE is tough! 
Making simple and big decisions is TOUGH! 

Its like for ex. when we go to bed my husband asks me which of the 2 covers i want! and i'm like.. hmm this one.. then he takes the other one and i feel .. no no i want that one. and well this goes on for a while till he reaches a point where he is like.. TAKE BOTH COVERS
wa حلي عني hahaha 

ok he didnt say that out loud but i felt it. I think i like both covers equally but whenever he wants a cover it becomes more cozy and warmer to me. I hate making a decision and regretting it or wishing i made the other choice. Unfortunately in life we dont usually get both covers. You need to make a decision and no one will decide for you. You need to decide for yourself. You need to MAKE UP YOUR MIND ya SIT DINNNAAAAA!

Its not just this indecisive nature. i always find myself leaving things unfinished. I get excited about something. I start an idea for a business and as soon as i want to take the idea to the next level, as soon as things start getting real, i face the first obstacle. I QUIT.  I lost track of the many endless ideas i had and never did. Problem is i feel i can do so much. I hate this feeling of feeling that you need to be discovered or that your trapped in yourself. 

Things i have done.. I have done wedding, party favors. and well i never really took it to the next level cause i feel it will take a lot of time and i dont have time.

I have designed wedding cards but well lots of ppl dont go to designers for wedding cards but rather just have a ready made design. Aslan most of people who come to freelance designers these days expect you to work for free like your time spent is worthless which also gets depressing.

I have done artwork and digital designs but never actually sat there and produced a series of artwork. Love making funny greeting cards just never took that to the next level either.

I love writing and blogging and would love to write a book or kids book but i never actually did take this to the next step.

i love illustration and thought of selling my illustrations to shutterstock or a simalar website. again i never tried that either. i feel i always need a push. 

i love making people laugh whether its through my animation or stand up comedy but well my animating skills are still at the beginner stage.

kolo love love love Lovni برص hahaa

My latest صرعة  is being a stand up comedian making my own stand up sketches on youtube inspired by kharabeesh N2o Comedy who sara7a are not all very funny. I feel i can do so much better. Rajae qawas is hilarious and if you havent seen FEMALE you really have to.

 After thinking it through i realized it  would mean that i will definitely face a lots of harsh criticism that i dont think i can take
 انا قلبي رهيْف.

 And lets say i get famous. would it mean i go on comedy show tours? what about my kids? وين أوديهم؟  plus for sure as a hijabee i will face extra criticism for sure. 
its a challenge im not sure i will take.. maybe ill change my mind.. you know me.. indecisive haha

Maybe ill do short funny animations instead and work on my animation skills but t. بدريششش

I know a lot of people who are now ماشاءالله very successful and have fulfilled thier dreams and have done something they loved. Sometimes you find people who you never expected to be successful, like those who never attended class or were always sleeping who suddenly have started thier own business. Im actually happy for them and inspired and i find myself thinking.
 HOW did they do it ?
Why didn't I do something BIG when i know i have the ability and talents to do a lot?

Answer is that.. They did not just sit there and talk talk talk about what they WANT to do. they thought of something they wanted to do. and they DID IT. They did not quit as the first obstacle they faced. The one thing they surely had is DETERMINATION & CONFIDENCE. They were willing to take RISKS and they knew that if they failed once or many times eventually they will succeed because they BELIEVE. 

Reminds me of the inspirational story of 3amo KFC whose name is actually 

Colonel Harland David Sanders he actually faced 1000 rejections and the 100person who finally not only did not reject him but instead agreed to be his parthner in this Kentucky Fried Chicken business was Pete Harman



That my deary dears blogging peers is the route of my problem. FEAR. Fear oF Failure.

I dont have DETERMINATION. I see daily inspirations people like my fellow blogger Ola Eliwat
who just published her book "قبل السفر" which will be the first arabic novel i read انشاالله
 ( when i get my hands on a copy that is)
She is a great writer and expresses herself so eloquently in her writings. Can't help but feeling a sense of familiarity when you read her wrtings. She is one of the few writers and bloggers whose writings intrigue you and capture you and no matter how long they might seem you find yourself reading on and on till you realize you just read her whole blog or book and want to read some more.

One day when she is famous i hope she remembers Dino the Chocoholic blogger who loves Bagar.

Another inspiration of the week is my friend and relative who made this really cool educations app for teaching kids for IPHONE IPAD i downloaded it for lulu and she loved it and im sure your kids will love it too download it for FREE here  very nice idea. I have also alway wanted to make an app for kids.. someone yells " انتي كل شي بدك قرفتينا"

To those who have started thier own business, wrote thier own book, made thier own app or started thier own show pursued their dreams. Good for you, you are truely inspirational. For those people who are like me know that by true determination you TOO can achieve your goals.

* dino nods taking in her own advice


Truth is after talking to my wise huzbandi and telling him how confused i was about what dream i want to pursue. He asked me why i feel the need to be famous or on youtube to feel that i have achieved something in life. He reminded me of my beautiful girls lulu and lina and how being a MOM is one of the greatest achievements of my life.

He also made me realize that i havent actually sat down with my lulu to read to her and teach her in a long time. She is messing up her letters and that made me feel really bad.
 I am focusing on how i can be productive to the world when i didnt even
start in my own home with my own kids.

Tomorrow i'm going to sit and read to lulu. Teach her and revise the alphabet and numbers again. In the end of the day whether or not i start my own business or write my own book, I have to bring up my daughters the best way i know how because they are my life and they are what makes me happy.

Instead of complaining and wondering about what i could have done for now i will say

الحمدلله على كل شي

وانشاءالله خير

و الله يعينك يا جوزي قد ما بغررررر

blablablalablabla hahah okay now that all that is out of my system im going to bed.

GOOD NIGHT :) and GOOD LUCK.

did i mention i also sing and write poetry?

*someone throws shoe at dina

*dina ducks

21 comments:

Rita Riordan said...

People who successfully start a business are passionate about what that business DOES. But that success radiates from the WHY you have that business, WHY does this business need to exist.
Think of yourself as others see you: witty, talented, insightful, caring, generous, intelligent. Now compare that to how you see yourself. Are you being fair with your self-assessment or dwelling too much on negatives? Allah created us like snowflakes: unique and beautiful. List your uniqueness and beauty. You will readily identify those same qualities in your children. Bless you, Dina! You are a jewel in our human treasure chest.

Haitham Jafar said...

make up yr mind sit dina and stop procrastinating

garaftee ahaleena o a6falna ba3id!

heheeeeeee

(how`s that for ego-boos6ar + encoragmAnt) <--- I speak French u know, u do know not

meeeeeeeeeeeeغd!

heheee

-------
معلش الساعة لسا ما صارت 6!
-------

ok, jad (shway) , stop being or trying to be everyhting 4 everybody!

fahmeh 3alay? :)

و كمان ممكن أضيف شي

battles r 1st and utmost won inside our heads, conceptually!

آه، أنا حكيت هالشي و مو سرقة و لا بتصرف

I -too- say ba4ar thingies that rocks! or pops,, no difference :)

just make priority lists, then time tables, and stick to them!

:how easy:

:صفيييييييييييرة:

خخخخخ

--------

إذا رجائي قواس بيضحك برأيك فحأعملك بلوك من كل حياتي البائسة الإلكطرونية!

ههههههه

أوكي جد

هو مجنون و تحشيش

بس ما عندو
برأيي

هدف ذو قيمة
و لسانو مش و لا بد

تعاونه مع تبعة بث بياخة = ضربة معلم

بس بيظل بالآخر

بدون هدف قيمي

ما بركز و لا على 10% من حلول لما يشير له من تشريحات مجتمعية

و أنا بطلت أشوفلو شي

mostly bcoz of his language actually
+ الغيرة طبعًا!
هههههههه
-----

خلص برطمت كثير!

بقرأ ردك + تعليقات الآخرين

و برررررررررررررجع

Anonymous said...

We could be identical twins , lol ...
You sound SO MUCH Like ME !





Dima said...

OMG, you're hilarious, i think you'll be better than Raja2i Qawwas. go go go Dina in whatever you decide to do,

Dino$ said...

y cant ppl comment?????

Dino$ said...

Rita.. wow.. that was such a lovely comment.. i do dwell on negatives and that has to do with my self esteem which has always been somwhat low.. sometimes i am confident but most times i just dont see myself the way ppl see me

but thank u comments like this help and make me more and more confident :)

Dino$ said...

Mr haitham.. i wrote u a long msg.. then faj2a sakar il computer and battery 6afa. and well kont ba2olak.. ur french is closer to FRENCH FRIES.. ya3ni kolo wala hay " meeeeghdd" walatchhh rooo7 ghaaad

and about being everything for everyboy.. wallahi thats me.. ana mush bas battle in my head.. fe in my head film 300 daa2em.. and im always hainvg صراع نفسي

i feel like its a therapy seession

Dr haitham * adjusts reading glasses

*dino cries.. eats chocolata and talks as she cries wa chocolata betnaget everywhere hahaha

ana mushtkelee even ifi right a to do list or time table i forget ot CHECK IT! i need someon to come and be my life coach wa yu7abath ya3teeni also gym training as well

and regarding rja2e i know what ur saying.. his comedy is staged and planned and not very هادف

what i meant is he is the funniest in the arab comedy these days li2ano ma fe kteer arab comedians that are funny. ana law bedi to start comedy bidi 2a3malo haadef..

mathalan comedy then dars deen 3al saree3 or tasemee3 ayeh :P

ok seriously mush la darajet dars deen but ino something like this.. i dont know if u ever saw my animation is fashell. il sowt mush waade7 abadan bas it was my first animation haha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRMxJfY_FXs&feature=plcp

Dino$ said...

anonymous.. glad u share my feelings i feel i am not alone!!

Dino$ said...

Dima... thank u so much for your comment.. its been a while since peope commented on my blog and i love it when ppl share thier thoughts and feeelings :) its what makes me want to blog some more

Abuelsharif said...

Well, ya postatek ya em lulu,
many unfinished dreams, and potentials that meh...i can do it later!
el mohem, do something...don't put everything on hold...you know mesh 3aref it's a mooda wala it's a good thing, I've thinking of putting an diea for a book...Ola inspired many...no doubt.!

Dino$ said...

abul sharif huna! yes ! wallah sa7 kalamak! now im writing down ideas.. and inshala i will set a deadline and will have accomplished something before that deadline! i would buy ur book 3ala 6ool wa please attach batata vouchers to ur book :P

Haitham Jafar said...

هو أنا صحيح على تويتر أنا الطبيب النفسي اللا معتمد صاحب الرخصة المسحوبة لأسباب لا مجال لتعدادها بس مش متأكد من قدراتي على قرية البلوغر، تعي هناك و بنحجزلك موعد
+ موعد مجاني لجلسة كهربا
و لااااااا يهزك خانوم

هههههههه

شفت المقطع و حطيت بصمة صغيرة بعد :]

Whisper said...

لا تخافي ولا تقلقلي...كلنا بالهوا سوا

دائما بفكر ان نيالهم الاجانب كيف بقرار واحد بغيرو كل حياتهم ...بنتقلو لقارة جديده و بشتغلو اشي جديد بعيد تماما عن مجالهم

احنا القرارات عنّا صعبه لان الها تبعيات تقاليديه و اسريه مع اطنان من الكسل ليش الكزب :$

ان شاء الله بتقرقري شو بدك و بتصمصمي عليه و بنشوف ابداعاتك اللي اكيد حتكون رائعه كالعاده :)


Dino$ said...

ya galbi ya whisper.. walllahi inti fahmani! and ur 100 % right but kalamek ktheer jameel! im so glad you commented its been a while since i saw a comment from you here! And really comments like this are what make me want to end all the procrastination and DO SOMETHING AND START NOW !

*wardeh
* farawla dipped in jameed :P

Whisper said...

It's been a while la kul el blogging world for me :$
ma ana eltanyeh mesh 3arfeh what di I want :D

law ma fe comments t2akaddy 2enno ma fe post ma qara2to hon...walaw

Haitham Jafar said...

خذلااااااااااااااااااااااك

نانا ويسبر و الكذب الأشكل خبر!

قال بقرأ كل شي بس أبعلقش

أي شي غاد!

كذبنا الكذبة و صدقناها و لا 10 على الشجرة

بتستاهليش ترمس بالجميد

قال فراولة قال

دينو: ابعدي عن ويسبر و غنيلها!

Ola said...

Finally I can post a comment!

Actually this post hit a chord with me, because I have this problem too: indecision. I find it hard to take a decision and I want someone to take it for me but when they do sometimes I'm like: I'm not sure that's what I want!

But believe me, when it comes to something you really want to do, it becomes easy, because you know what you want. For example, I knew I wanted to write a book, I took that decision alone, but when it comes to marketing the book and pricing w haik I go back to not being able to decide alone, because these are the details, but the core thing that you want to do is what you can decide on your own, so you just have to find it

Dino$ said...

wallahi ya ola ijibteeha.. il mushkeleh i love more than one thing.. i feel like i love writing and making poeple laugh and drawing cartoons.. and to me writing a book makes so much sense to me.. but i just think of publishing and the process of making a book and marketing and all that and i feel i just never actually did take it to that stage.. i think i should actually MAKE THE book then worry about all that and inshala i will ..

now book a6faal or book lal adults again not sure.. inshala kheir :)

but so right about somone making the decision for me and then sayin. emmm yimkin mush hayk bidi haha

dayman fahmani ya olayyy

abed hamdan said...

Look sister, here's what I honestly think:

You're not a quitter, you just don't know how to do business. Sure, you are skilled, and you have various useful skills, you just don't know how to turn this into a full time business. This is fine, no one is born with this knowledge, you MUST learn it!


start reading some business books. Inspiring examples isn't what you really need, you DO need to LEARN how to make a business plan, only then you can STICK to it. Persistence and discipline in business is different than persistence and discipline in say, sports or studying. It's a different game. But it's not that difficult.

You need to READ about business. This is a lightweight book you can start with..
http://www.amazon.com/Start-a-Freedom-Business-ebook/dp/B006W6XPLW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346218390&sr=8-1&keywords=Freedom+business


You need to start somewhere. For example, start with your design thing (because illustrator skill is very lucrative). Make a professional website and start connecting with clients. If you get the first client, ask them to write a recommendation for you. Then LEARN and DO marketing. Set some goals, small goals, and achieve them one goal at a time.

abed hamdan said...

Honestly the only thing that holds people back is two things: 1) laziness 2) Fear.

Let go of these two, and you will start making wonders

RhondaLee Quaresma said...

Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks.