Wednesday, January 19, 2011

No Hugs Please

So.. i have been in the States pretty much the past year and well i know for sure that a lot of people here dont even know much about islam. some actually think i am SiKH :S

Anyway so there are lot of cultural differences and misunderstandings that happen. Like for example.. here when you get to know someone and meet them the second time its normal to HUG you! not a big squeeze hug but more like a PAT on the back QUICK -NAP on your shoulder type of thing.. its considered Normal.. its pretty much like us saying SALAMo Alikom

So... how can you explain to them that Muslims Do NOT HUG ? wait that came out wrong.. we do HUG but woman dont hug men and men dont hug woman.. i hug trees but that is irrelevant.

so well those who are muslim and hug woman and go out and dont really follow the teachings of islam well then well its thier personal choice but as for ME... and my HUSBAND i must add * dino glares at Ahmed in a threatening manner.. WE only HUG EACH OTHER... oh and lulu ofcourse and family and friends from the SAME SEX *dino writes note and sticks note on Ahmeds forehead.. the note says the following

" Dear Ladies.. my husband is very sweet and sometimes shy and does not know how to react when woman hug him so let ME say it for him.. he DOES NOT HUG other FEMALES * note had to be separated to many notes because it was too long so now Ahmeds face is full of post-it notes..

notes continued " He Does not mean to Offend you its just a religious thing.. OKAY? And Btw... its cold you might want to wear a jacket or pants maybe? "

A little shocker for some of you many Muslims DO NOT shake hands even with MEN/WOMAN. I mean at one stage of my life i was trying not to shake hands with MEN as much possible and now im dealing with HUGS?lol

Truth is sometimes it happens so fast before you get a chance to say "Sorry i dont HUG MEN "the Hug is already over and u just stand there thinking.. OMG OMG OMG i was just hugged by a MAN !!

oh same applies to KISSING on the CHEEK forehead.. hand.. kolo same same PLease no KIssses.. i know you mean well but LOVE ME &MY HUSBAND from a DISTANCE . Whats wrong with WAVING?? Waving is NICE .. its amazing same wave can be used for HII AND BYEE! WOW!

Ok reason i am freaking out a little bit... is ... my husband is leaving a program he was in for 2 years... and at the end of each year there is a huge dinner dance We will attend. And this is the BIG FAREWELL! the one i have FEARED! i knew this day will come! and it happens to be on my BDAY! the 23rd ( WRITE IT DOWN PEOPLE) haha :P

And well i know what comes with FAREWELLS lots of HUGS AND MWA MWA MWA * dino does karate moves.

So.. here are my plans on how to NOT BE HUGGED or Let any1 hug my ba3loool..

Plan A

Also works with handshakes... as soon as you see someone heading your way hold on to something.. like carry a pile of books.. carry LULU.. just keep ur hands occupied and then give a look of " ohh sorry i cant hug you i am holding lulu"

Plan B

Whenever someone attempts to hug you do a reverse moonwalk dance and then just wave and they will get the point.. this worked.. i actually did this.. minus the moonwalk haha it was the most awkward moment everrrr it was actually my husbands BOSS who is such a sweet guy and wanted to say Hi!!

i freaked out and just kind of jumped backward and made him feel like he was some weirdo haha poor guy i think he felt horrible!

Plan C

Stand on stage take the MIC give everyone a lecture abt ISLAM haha and maybe then theyh will suspect im a terrorit being the only hijabeee in the ballroom! *security carries dino off stage

I dont think think there is any nice way of telling someone I CANT HUG YOU but as i told my husband if HE GETS HUGGED i will find his BOSS and give him the HUG he wanted hahahahah

and for each HUG he gets i GET 2.. OKAY OKAY... i know my husband is reading this because he usually reads the blogs that he knows are about HIM. he saw me working on the cartoon!

believe it or not he does not read my BLOG DAILY!! *CROWD GASPS

*dino does the im watching you move to Ahmed hahahahhaha

Conclusion is..

                 You Drink, You Hug, You Drink I Shrug
You Kiss, You expose too much skin, i wear hijab you can still see my CHIN :)
                         I might not Eat Pork ,  but i still use a Fork
                         You have your life i have mine, just please stop offering me WINE :P


Hanadi said...

Hi Dina...
It's my first time to pass by your blog, but I find this post really interesting, funny and carrying a great message.
As I haven't lived in a Western country before, I didn't experience such situations, but I can completely understand your attitude and hold thumbs up for you.... not just becuz of ur reactions, but also for the nice way u expressed them here, especially the POST-IT NOTES part ;) - I may want to steal that idea from you :p :p
Believe it or not, you still have to deal with such issues with Arabs and some Muslims sometimes, not for the HUGS part of course, but for the HAND-SHAKING, were ppl sometimes start explaining to you that they really have (good intention)!
Anyway, I loved ur way of writing and I hope all ur posts are such interesting and well-written becuz I will not stop following your blog :)
Have a nice day ;)

UmmOmar said...

I llllllllllllllllllllllllllllike

Anonymous said...

It's normal to hug people you know ,but a person you barely know ,not really .
Actually I'm very cool and am a touchy muchy kinda girl with males.


Abuelsharif said...

Super ta7sheesh !
I usually use the "sneeze alert" to avoid hugs...7a3tos...khodo sater !

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

It really isn't a big deal. A big part of our muslim faith is intenshion (il niyyeh) behind the action. A person greeting you by shaking hand is showing you respect. I think it extremely offensive when ppl refuse to shake hand with me.
The US ppl hug to show they have accepted you as a friend and you are important them. There is nothing sexy about it, and the intenshion is very innocent. I say just accept, because you offend by refusing the pat on the back- and that is not very muslim to do (to offend ppl). If you refuse a hug, just tell them honest you are more comfortable with hand shake. Ppl in the US understand direct and don;t get upset.

Dino$ said...

Hanadi.. ahlan wa sahlan in my blog :)

but i agree in the arab muslim world you still face this i live in Dubai just here in the States for a while and i know what ur talking abt :)

thank u for following

Dino$ said...

UmOmarrr Ahlan wa sahlan :) glad u like

Dino$ said...

razan yeah that is true hugging totaly strangers is weird. i dont mind ppl being touchy feely just not with me if they are MEN :P or with my Husband if they r WOMAN :P

Dino$ said...

ABUL SHREEF SHUKRAN 3al the tip shikli 7a2deeha 3a6es lool haha

Dino$ said...

Anonymous.Niya is important in islam but that doesnt mean just go whatver u want if u have a good niya. i mean some say they are good ppl with good niya and that they shouldnt pray.

So if someone felt uncomfortable with my hijab i remove it? If someone wanted to Kiss me i should just let them and "purify" my niyya.. i know thre is nothing sexual abt the hugs and they mean well but still its just somethin that is not part of our religion and i would rather please God than a bunch of ppl i will never see again in my life.

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

I`m not commenting on this! I`m not commeeeeeeeeeeenting,,,

we "men" need to initiate a movement
#freeHugs ,,, loooool
أين حقوق الرجال

*shakes head* ! :Pp

Sniper said...

Well written Dino :) I avoid hugs and handshakes my self as much as i can bas u know it's really embarrassing to me if a lady gives a hand for handshake and I avoid it :s ba3dain even if u forget about religion, I see no reason to spreading germs around by kisses, hugs & handshakes

* Big hugs & kisses to those who don't hug & kiss :p

Dino$ said...

Haitian Wayne martak t.Eke tesma3 and will u said that when little heyam is a lady and men want to hug her? Wall be6okhhum?


Dino$ said...

Sniper int a wa Haitham hug each other ad ma bedkom :) and use abulsharef advice and sneeze before they hug

UmmOmar said...

u inspired me with something
I'll post you the link later

Morning to you :)

Rebecca said...

"Btw... its cold you might want to wear a jacket or pants maybe? "
Too true!

I know how you feel. After 5 years in the Middle East, I'm always shocked by men hugging m in America.
You can try turning to the side a bit as they hug you to avoid the "full frontal" hug. It's still not ideal, but it helps if you're really afraid of offending someone.

Jumping back is not a terrible idea either. It might shock them, but you are educating them about your culture, which most people will appreciate.

Dino$ said...

ummm omar i cant wait to read it :) and i me an "inpiration"

*dinos eyes tear :)

Dino$ said...

rebecca lol i agree jumpking back freaks them out and makes it even more awkward ! the sideway hug seems interesting at least you you a avoid the full frontal as you said. :) 5 years in the middleast and back to the states is a big culture shock.

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...


u r officialy on my

"شرير" list

*looking 4 sniper to give/recv a hug

althu it sounds scary to hug a sniper! ;D

model said...

hi dina
ur post is trully hillarious
i feel evry word u wrote

i am totally utterly with u
even not from a religous point of view
but helthy wise
lovely post
keep it up