Thursday, February 16, 2006

Muffled SCRE@M$!


Sometimes.. just sometimes.. not all the time.. i feel the urge to SCREAM!! i mean i feel this need to let out all the stress and anger and accumulated feelings that have been bottled up inside of me for so long!

A SCream for each time i smiled and nodded my head when someone cuts infront of my car in a traffic jam! FOr everytime i felt disrespected or mistreated and just didnt speak up.. for all those disappointing moments in my life.. A Scream of REgret,Anger,Frustration,STRESS! For @ll those times i felt disappointed! For All the times i felt used!!

Scream till my vocal cords can scream no more!! SO LOUD that my ear drums feel like they are going to burst! SREAM for soo long... let all these negative feelings out of my system.. till suddenly im surrounded by a peaceful sense of serenity..a feeling of safety ..all i hear is the sound of nothingness.... nothing but a LOUD SILENCE...

in reality its kind of inappropriate to scream like that or ill be officaially seen as a psychopath! just pass me a pillow it will do for now!!! ARGH?!!!

Just kind of frustrated today for no specific reason...its one of those days when u just feel like you want to EXPLODE!
Anyways... hope u like the work i posted here its the first time i post my own work :)

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

Let me join you my dear.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puts pillow down*

*deep breath*

Yes, well, that did help a bit. Kind of like getting a labotomy.
(I imagine of course..no actual experience with labotomies I assure you).

I know happy books...think happy be happy.

Why do we shut ourselves in you ask...why not. It might be motivation. Saying why bother? Just as easy to sit here and do nothing as make an effort to go out. But you know that you are always glad you go out. Once you are out and about you wonder why you would want to stay home. I like watching people sometimes. Dubai is a great place for that, the malls are full of such a variety.

I am off to work. Huge snow storm here today so I imagine it will be quiet in the office as everyone huddles and shivers in their homes waiting for it to pass over.

Take care....SK

Anonymous said...

Your first original work ??

Huh?

You mean you are a plagerist? Oh no, my whole world is a fake and phoney. I have been misslead and taken for a fool. Whatever will I do........*grabs coat and heads out the door for the nearest tall bridge to jump off of*

WWWWAAAHHHH!!!

( Like I would have noticed the difference)

Dino$ said...

hey SK! join the club! screams into pillow!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

heheh u know the guy who sang " dont worry be happy" he committed suicide! how ironic!

lol its those happy ppl who have got it bad! haha

snow i wish i was there!!! we hardly get rain in uae!

so true abt the goin out thing.. i mean i stay home and feel like i cant and wont go out.. and when i do.. i feel omg i should never stay home again! i realize how depressin it get to just sit at homE! yet i end up stayin home most the time hehe

oh no.. u caught me.. im a fruad! i post other ppls work! *dino turns herself end.. smiles to man takin her pic for jail.. holdin her number hehe nice..

silly me i thought ud notice hehe forgive me! hehe

see ya sk im off to bed now!

Anonymous said...

oh Dino....I come by to chat. Not too worried about your DEEP, deep , deep thoughts.You need a pick axe and a shovel to get to most of mine.

Yes ,the snow.Well, I will send it all to you, because I have had enough of it. I do like being cold though..I panic as soon as I break a sweat. I was in Dubai last summer. I rememebr sitting in Creek park...completely alone( noone else stupid enough to be there at that time of day..duh)...around noon. Thinking... damn, I'm hot. Not a little bit hot, but beyond hot. In fact, I have absolutely never been this hot in my life..even in a sauna. Realised I had no water. Looked around and tried to calculate how far I would have to walk to buy some ( not realising those little water dispensers were everywhere). Actually took a picture of one while looking for water not realising what it was. Then go to some store in the park by the creek..order two big bottles of water and realise I only have a 500dhm bill and some canadian cash only in the far bottom of my wallet. Guy says no..cant break the 500 and cant take my canadian money. I said man..I am so thirsty..take this $20 cdn (60dhms) for the 2 bottles, plus a muffin. He said no..cause he couldnt tell if it was real money.@#$%@#$%^!!!!
I end up going to the front entrance where I came in an hour earlier..they wont change my money..said I would use up all their change...send me to the big building with kids entertainment in it..but they want me to buy a ticket to go in if I want to go to the cafeteria(where they may or may not be able to cash the 500. I grabbed at taxi instead..went to City Center..bought three bottles of water and watched people bowl for an hour while recovering.

So I dont know...extreme heat..extreme cold. I guess you get used to it all if you have to.

It was quiet at work...biggest storm of the year.

take care.........

Dino$ said...

lol @ ur story! hahah thought things like that only happen to me!! well i hardly feel hot or cold.. unless if its extremes like the ones u have mentioned! hehe but when i miss dubai weather when im in jordan i just have to enter a sauna! seriously after licing here for a while i can endure major HEAT!! hehe yes sometimes i get stuck in places where i need WATER soo cadly that i feel rocks in my throat everytime i swalloW! hehe which reminds me of a story i heard... those people who get stuck under a building or in a shelter and are left with nothing to drink but emmm emmm u know... pee? hehe ew! i would rather DIE than drink that! i mean hello?!

soo yes back to the topic.. oh yeah.. water... there is nothing that compares to a cold bottle of water when ur soooooo thirsty!!! ber u always carry change with now when u come to dubai!!

btw everyday i find out we have more in common! i do things like sit in park in the heat for no specific reason! hehe i tend to do many things for no reason at all.. just cause " i felt like it" ehhe most of the time when i realize how stupid i was i regret being spontanous and silly hehe yet i guess we always need adventures in our life.. even if they include almost dying of thirst!

ur always welcome to share ur thoughts here! believe me no one is as bad as i am! heh

have a great day Sk

Dino$ said...

hehe :) hi mudassar i dunno what i clicked but i think it had to do with moderatin comments.. hmm ur comments are approved by me hehe comment her anytime u like..

well my weekend.. lets see.. i have to say everyday is an adventure! everday i surprise myself with somethin embarrassing happening to me!! i wonder why things happen to ONLY me... then recently im starting to realize the problems lies with in ME! ehhe

hmm lets see.. a bunch of ladies want me to marry thier sons...i published my pic by mistake in a public forum .. thank God it ws editted off in time... im always soo out of this world!!

what else.. i had a huge scoop of chocolate icecream ( brownie madness) with lotsa fudge at baskin robins. to make myself feel better after the dramatic weekend...

i doubt ill be married ne time soon to anyone of the options.. just too awkward and weird.. and unatural!

oh i went for a job interview today.. went ok.. ofcourse i missed the first interview cause i GOT LOST! ( dino$ has no sense of dircetion what so ever)

well.. maybe soon ill be posting from work!! yipeeeee

how was al ain?!

Dino$ said...

and well.. if u knew me u would know im the most patient person alive.. hehe i hardly ever get mad or let out any anger or frustration.. im just saying sometime being patient all the time.. and keeping it all inside is what makes u just want to SCREAM hehe.. but ofcourse al hamdulilah... i dont want to change how i am... :) its better this way..

saves me a the unecessary waste of emotions.. im a peaceful person.. and i try my best to please God.. after all as a muslim i want to give out the right impression abt islam... going around screamin my head off wont exactly be a positive message hehe

Dino$ said...

hamdulilah... yes pateince is something u get by time.. :) im going to go meet up with my friend for lunch.. i wil prb go to ms venillis! its the best! u know it? italian.. yummmmm....

see ya later....

Dino$ said...

2 months bas?! ok listen.. no need to waste time.. u will have to GO NOW! u will love it! go to cuty center magic planet... its there.. Ms Venillis.. yummy.. u choose what to have in ur pasta and they cook it in front of u!! hehe ok im too happy talking abt it now cause im a bit hungry hehe

but its great! totally.. trust me on this one... i have good taste when it comes to food hehe

if u dont like it .. ill let them give u ur money back! heh

Dino$ said...

im gonna go now! if u do go and end up seeing a tall hijjabi with a huge smile on her face as she watches the man coook the pasta! its me! ehhe

Anonymous said...

Dino..Italien food ??? YUUUMMMMMM!!!!

When I cook, or eat out..I have three choices right off the top...chinese, italien or indian.
Last weekend I made a huge chinese meal..tonight I am making indian...tandoori chicken,cucumber raita,and naan. Since it is the weekend I was thinking of making spagetti and meatballs tomorrow. I have a recipie for ( and this is their real name) The Worlds Best meatballs.It is a 100 year old recipie from a restaraunt in New York. I make them up and freeze them so they are easy to pull out when I dont want to cook.
I dont cook that often, but when I do I am very particular about what I make.

When I was a kid my mom would say that I didnt like anything. It is not that, i am just very picky about my food. When I find what I like I have no problem at all. I love anything cheese (even these meatballs have cheese in them..romano). But I dont like alot of meat. In fact, unless it is heavily seasoned with some spice or another..I dont like it at all *gag..gag..gag..gag*

Yeah, I tend to be spontaneous. But it usually involves me wandering off doing something by myself. A very solitary moment where I sit and contemplate or observe. It is the location that changes. It is one reason that I travel alone..because I have the option to do as I please when the feeling hits me. It fuels my thoughts that I will later compile on people, society, life in general. All the things that will affect my personal outlook.
I am not shy ... but I like to stand back and observe. I deal with alot of people in my job... so when I am alone I tend to keep my distance, or only invlove myself in things that I find funny or interesting.
Not like if I worked in a morg with dead people where I would dash out at the end of the work day and surround myself with the living and breathing..longing for human contact( this was actually a career option for me).

Food to dead people...what did that take...3,5 minutes. I am nothing if I am not consistant.

Have a great lunch.....!

Dino$ said...

big lol @ both of u! sk u gotta share the recipes! mudassar u better work on that arabic... lol u just asked me what my name is rerferring to me as a male! ma ismuki or sho ismik is what u say .. lol

so ur from? india? pakistan?

sk.. pass on the recipes when u talk abt food.. its like ur talkin the words right out of my mouth.... where have u been all my life!

if we meet it would really bad for us! we would show each other our fav foods and start new addictions! i am tryin to get rid of the ones i already have lol

hehe i jsut got back i saw "big mammas house 2"
hilarious! hahahah

didnt have pasta! i was too full when i got there!
i guess i was jinxed.. i wonder who would of jinxed me? *SK ppoints at mudassar...

yes thought so.. *frowns at mudassar gives him a death look followed by the im gonna cut ur throat move lol hahahah :P

jk

see ya guys later!

Anonymous said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOOL.....You are funny today.
Now sweetheart, why would I throw death stares at Mudassar ??? *lol*

He is a funny guy. And I am highly amused, and I like that.The only thing that jinxed you was the snack bar at the movie theatre.lol.

Mudassar sounds cool. Energetic, assertive, curious, friendly. Learning Arabic...excellent. Man, all I know is french, english and a bit of spanish. And only enough to order myself some lunch and make a phone call...so good for you.

Meatballs are cooked ( all six batches) smelled good for the first 30 minutes of cooking. Now (hour later)I am nausious..window is open and the frigid air/snow is coming in to help me out. The darn meatballs are fried in olive oil. *cough cough..wheeze* But, they are worth it. My precious little meatballs..all for me!!!!!!!..*bwahahaha*

(I need to get out more)

Now cheese is a Western thing. I realised that when I was in Dubai. Someone (very happy indian) laughed at me at the grocery store and said..ha, you westerners and your bread and cheese.We both had a good laugh .. I had bread, cheese, a banana , a bottle of water and a toblerone in my basket.
By the end of my trip my basket always had something curry/spicey in it and always some hummus and pita bread. Just needed to find my way around the grocery store a bit to the premade stuff. I found on my last day there a lebanese bakery in Karama and almost die dof pleasure at how good their food was. The guy didnt speak english so I just pointed to have what the other guy before me was having and it was REALLY good. Vegitarian..warm pita bread ..some kind of herb filling with a smooth yogurt sauce in it. And crispy around the edges. I could have eaten 3 of them. Took a picture of the place so I can remember it next time. Some great restaurants there, your lucky.



Big mamas house 2..I saw the first one. Thought is was great. That was a few years ago though. Darn, I dont get out to movies enough..cant even think of any to recommend. I rented Master and Commander last week..it was good ..have you seen Madegascar...oohh, I love King Julien !! What a cheekey little lemer. A friend told me I am just like him .. keep saying what is in my head without thinking first....he makes me laugh..(bought the DVD).

You know, I only turned the computer on to come and drop my silly thoughts . Poor you. Maybe I will go see what I can download onto my ipod....any favorite music artists ???

Oh wait! I hear a meatball calling!...*coming !!!*

SK

hey ......jk?

Dino..how tall are you ?

I am...

Anonymous said...

Crap..I am trying to calculate my height in metric ..dduuhhhhh! I'll get back to you..need to refer to my cookbook conversion table.

I am so screwed up...I calculate all small measurements in metric... weight in both depending on how big it is..grocery store in metric..everything else in pounds. Distance in miles or kms...my wieght and height in pounds and feet. I was only 10 years old when Canada converted from Imperial to mertic. Its all the governments fault I am so screwed up. My little brain didnt want to change.

Now lets see... if one kg equals 2.2 lbs
then 4 monkeys and a bag of jelly beans will wiegh..oh crap, screwed up again .. I'll have to start over!

Dino$ said...

SK ur hilarious!! ooo humus.. drools!!

hahaha u remind me of me! how ur thoughts kind of are blurted out! u jump from one topic to another and u dont know how u switched from the topic of hummos to monkeys! hahahha lol @ u

yes mudassar is a nice guy.. but his arabic haha sadly is horrible! ill work on that! heh

ur welcome to drop by ur thgouhts here anytime u like! i loved madagaskar spellede it wrong! i ofudn it on the map i plan on having my honey mooon there lol!

i loved that indian monkey " i like to move it move it"
and that cute little squirrel i think.. i forgot.. it was soo cool i saw it twice or three times! i love cartoons

fav artist.. evanescence.. told i sound exactly like her when i sing *blushes.. well said with all modesty ofcourse.. i let fo of my super star dream ages ago

hehe im exactly 178 .. but usually i wear shoes i end up 180 i think... u do the math.. i suck in math!

Dino$ said...

i jsut read the last post i think i was typing really fast and was too excited that i forgot how to spell and organize my thoughts,,, Dino BREATH

Wax on WAx off --> like the karate kid

welll... sooo i i meant i live evanescence the band.. and amy lee the artist... i also like anouk,fiona apple,beyonce,lauren hill.. i listen to pretty much anything.... i like R&B... sometimes i like sappy love songs... but listening to them cant be healthy and only depresses me..

Sings " I DONT WANNA CRYYYYY i dont WANNA CRY"
heheh

dont worry my voice isnt that bad ... :P

Anonymous said...

Can't find my calculator...recipie book converson tables dont apply.....

think, think....oh ! Drivers licence..wait...........


LOL...Dino.....WE ARE THE EXACT SAME HEIGHT !! ...178

Why am I not surprised ?

Anonymous said...

Music...let me think.I downloaded evanescence , my immortal. I like sappy songs...and sometimes a little more dance type. I like Lenny Kravitz...Gavin DeGraw..Nickleback...a bit of Van Morrison. I kind of float between old stuff and new stuff. I often put my ipod on when I go to bed..listen to music to clear away the little voices in my head...yes , I have little voices.

*stop, dont run away, I am not crazy*!!!!

Actually it is me replaying conversations I have during the day with people. Often wishing I could rewind and correct some of the drivel that comes out of my mouth.

OMG... some of the stuff that I say. I could start my own circus sideshow.

My first language is english..french second but speaking it for 12 years..so, hardly new at it. I was talking to a client at our office the other day...happily chatting away (in french)with this nice gentleman. I handed him some papers that he had left on the desk (his hands were full) and I casually smile and say..perhaps there is room in your pocket for these....but in french a "pocket" is not a pocket...a pocket is a mans test**les. I froze as soon as I said it...my eyes opened wide...I held my breath...and he laughed. OMG... stupid little english girl strikes again. After he left the girls in the office were laughing so hard. I gave them all a pinch and went back to work cursing myself.

*puts on ipod and turns up the volume* Just another day in my little life.

Fortunately I can laugh at myself. Sure comes in handy.

Anonymous said...

Ok..weight...153lbs....what is that now...?

70kg I think.

Gotta be at least 6 monkeys and 4 bags of jelly beans.
We should make our own measurements and weight system.

Monkeys and beans..monkeys and beans. I like the sound of that.

We could measure wieght in monkeys and distance in beans.

We will need some of those little jelly bellys for the small measurements. And the big fat ones for long hauls .

I am getting tired.....Any logic or rational thought will now fall away...

Goodnight..

Diana said...

a very interesting blog you have here, I enjoyed reading your posts.
I'll be back 3ala rawa2 when i'm less busy.
just thought of passing by and say hi (f)

Anonymous said...

Mudassar...Dino seems to be away..so I will talk to you until she gets back.

So where are you from in India ? I have friends from Kerala living in Dubai(though I am not indian, and I am not in Dubai).

Good for you learning Arabic, Dino will be a great teacher I am sure..and maybe I will learn a few things as well...*crosses her fingers*

I heard about that mountain in Al Alan ..Jebel Ali ?...It is on my list for my next visit.

In order to be here you will need to pass a special test...you have to give us your height measurement in Jelly Beans.....and your wieght in monkeys....lifes not fun yaar,without a few challenges to make it intersting.LOL.

Now ,I figure an average small brown monkey weighs about 20lbs..which is what...9kg.

And an average sized jelly bean is about 10cm or 1 mm

so good luck

And have a great day....


And Dino...

Why do I think you are off somewhere eating pasta ?

I am heading out to the store (forgot to get the chicken for the tandoori chicken...duhh). Need to chip the ice off the car and will probably freeze my nubbins off in the process. -26C this morning.

Anonymous said...

No wait *cringes* make that 10mm = 1cm

I will be glad when this new measurement system is in use..it will be so much easier for me.

Anonymous said...

I'm in Canada man...

and no...you need to make those numbers into monkeys and jelly beans...

so, lets see..you wiegh 77kg..so that makes your new wieght..approx 8 monkeys
and your height roughly...180 jelly beans.

Now remember that when you go for your drivers licence and they ask you for your height and weight....we are creating a new system of measurement..we could be famous you know. Win a Nobel prize or something.

Anonymous said...

Dino, Dino..help us out..start a new post....you know how long it takes me to scrole down this page...? Well, seconds, but still.

Ah, such hussle and bussle of avtivity here. Cool.

Anonymous said...

OMG..I am a genious !!!

Not only can we measure length and weight with monkeys and jelly beans...we could measure TIME !!

Picture this....

Hours and minutes could be turned into bananas..as in, how long it takes a monkey to eat one.

So, 5 minutes could be like one banana (assuming average monkey once again..average hunger, not eating too fast or too slow).

Now jelly beans can count seconds. Cause I know it only takes me a second to eat one..lol. No doubt the monkey would agree.

*raises arms in the air and cheers with victory of her genius !!!*

Todays gonna be a great day..I can feel it.

Crap..now how do I fix the clock?
tape one banana on the 1...2 bananas on the 10...3 bananas on the ...oh my, do I have work to do.

Anonymous said...

Mudassar..no problem. I knew I was making no sence to you but I figured if I kept going you would figure it out..such a smart man, you did it!

It is all made up. Just joking about the mokeys and beans. Cringes sounds like a good name for the system though. Cause it is hard on the brain.

I bet something like that did exsist back in the Stone Age. Probably involved rocks and sticks though. Maybe a monkey or two.

Have a good evening


Dino...making sugar pies today..pie just overflowed onto bottom of oven..house now full of smoke and alarm is going off. *opens window again...crap* and freezes off what is left of the previously froze nubbins.

oh, this is a good recipie.

Pie crust (bottome only)
2 cups brown sugar
1 cup heavy cream
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbs flour
Mix it all together in a bowl then pour into unbaked pie shell.

Bake at 350 F for 30 minutes. Let cool 45 minutes to set.

Sweet and creamy...so sweet it can make your eyes cross. So eat small pieces slowly or you may endanger your life.

Dino$ said...

WOW... i was surprised to find this much comments on my blog when i came back! LOL @ u SK! the funny thing is u thin u dont make sense.. and u dont to many people.. and for some weird reason i GET U?! hahah i think great minds think alike! hehe

thanks for the pie recipe! im going to try it soon! i was out all day went to see a friend who recently got pregnant! well its her 5months now.. getting big.. the idea od somethin growin inside u kickin ur intestines and bladder is kind of freaky! hehe

SK! eveyday somethin embarrassnig has to happen.. and usually when i meet new ppl and feel nervous i blurt out the most EMBARRASING things! ARGH! HELP! i mean lol @ ur french comment lol but seriously worse things happen to me everday! once i was pickin up my friend from her hubsands family's house and well.. as we were waitin for her to come down we were introduced to her husbands brother...

anyway.. soo out of the blue .. i find nothing to say.. nothin pops in my head... i sitl dont know how i said that... i go.. " oh yeah... so when i was a kid in school i peed in my pants" i noticed by the many " CRINGES and stares and glares that were exchanged that i SAID THAT! i was horrfied.. wait i did it again.. now the whole world know abt my childhood trauma!!!

hahahahah ne way... isay the stupidest irrelivant things all the time ESPECIALLY WHEN IM NErvous! i always end up replaying conversations ive had during the day in my head and usually i feel like choking myself for my IDOITIC BEHAVIOR!!

MUDASSAR.. sorry i wasnt herre to reply to ur msgs i was not eatin pasta unfortunately.. hehe although i did plan to.... sigh.. agian my outing was jinxed.. i had a plain chicken ceaser salad for lunch... thakn for addin me to ur blog list.. and thanks for the nice thigns u say :)

NANA helloo hello.. ur welcome here anytime.. but anything u read here could cause serious irreversable damage! hehe i mean its not only my wacko thoughts i have my dear freind SK who is kind of like the cyber me in canada who is always posting her lovely insights.. soo dont say i didnt WARN U!!